Not sure anyone feel this, currently single. When seeing a companion, do you ever feel guilty about it and think this will be bad if I was going to get in relationship. I’m in my late 20s. Not sure if this is best platform to ask Lol. Feel free to suggest/guide/therapy lesson. In addition, would you ever tell your partner that you have seen companion.
Feeling Guilty
- Thread starter Haven40
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No. I don't feel guilty. Seeing escorts has been a joy. I've had serious relationships and serious girlfriends. I love women. I just happen to be in a place in my life where it's hard to date. So, I just have to 'make do' having sex with beautiful women. Just because they're on the clock doesn't mean that you can't enjoy interacting with escorts, or the companionship, as well.
When I first started seeing escorts the experience helped keep me sane, and even now a good session with an escort is a delight that can put me in a happier place for days. I've joked about sex with escorts 'ruining' my sex life if / when I go back to dating, but the simple truth is that a traditional monogamous relationship fills other needs along with sex. (Though my good experiences with escorts may be delaying a push back into dating, if I'm being honest.)
Why would I feel bad? I get STI tested, and would make sure I was tested before going 'condoms off monogamous'. I would also do the same if I wasn't seeing escorts and just fucking randos. Would I tell a new monogamous partner that I have seen escorts? Probably not, but I would tell the truth and say I have an extensive sexual history, but I always practiced safer sex (for everything but oral), and have been tested regularly.
What's there to feel guilty about? You should understand that there is a stigma around sex workers and the people that see them, and act accordingly. However you really should do your best to let go of any sense if shame, or any weird notions about 'cleanliness'. (Christ, the number of non-pros willing to raw dog a stranger in this town is disturbing.) That's assuming you're thinking with your big head, being reasonably safe, minding your budget, and keeping your head on straight.
Seeing escorts should be a positive experience, if you're 'doing it right', and doing it for the right reasons. If it's not then that's on you, IMO.
When I first started seeing escorts the experience helped keep me sane, and even now a good session with an escort is a delight that can put me in a happier place for days. I've joked about sex with escorts 'ruining' my sex life if / when I go back to dating, but the simple truth is that a traditional monogamous relationship fills other needs along with sex. (Though my good experiences with escorts may be delaying a push back into dating, if I'm being honest.)
Why would I feel bad? I get STI tested, and would make sure I was tested before going 'condoms off monogamous'. I would also do the same if I wasn't seeing escorts and just fucking randos. Would I tell a new monogamous partner that I have seen escorts? Probably not, but I would tell the truth and say I have an extensive sexual history, but I always practiced safer sex (for everything but oral), and have been tested regularly.
What's there to feel guilty about? You should understand that there is a stigma around sex workers and the people that see them, and act accordingly. However you really should do your best to let go of any sense if shame, or any weird notions about 'cleanliness'. (Christ, the number of non-pros willing to raw dog a stranger in this town is disturbing.) That's assuming you're thinking with your big head, being reasonably safe, minding your budget, and keeping your head on straight.
Seeing escorts should be a positive experience, if you're 'doing it right', and doing it for the right reasons. If it's not then that's on you, IMO.
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I wouldnt feel guilty. Just see it as fulfilling your needs. The amount of money I have spent in the past at clubs and NOT got laid is unreal. Id hate to count it all up. But its way more than Ive spent on pros. You can reframe it as paying professionals for a service that they are happy to offer. I've felt way more guilty waking up in some random bedroom having to tell a girl that yeah sure it was fun and I'll call her later 
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Why feel guilty about something that fills a need? Think of it no differently than going out to enjoy any activity that you enjoy and gives you pleasure. And definitely don't tell any prospective GF/SO UNLESS she's like minded but that's unlikely most of the time. As the saying goes "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas".
Personally I feel no guilt at all. In fact, I always and still enjoy every encounter and occasionally I'm nervous when meeting a new SP for the first time. And if all goes well, then I've found another "go to" when the want and desire strikes me to see someone.
LTO_3
Personally I feel no guilt at all. In fact, I always and still enjoy every encounter and occasionally I'm nervous when meeting a new SP for the first time. And if all goes well, then I've found another "go to" when the want and desire strikes me to see someone.
LTO_3
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Unless you are telling your future partner you never fucked anyone else in your life before them, I don't really see the problem.
Never felt guilty when I'm single and seeing whoever I wish too including SPs, SBs or FWBs. Some single women sleep around too. As for many how people your next partner and you currently slept with isn't really anyone's business. I'd never tell a partner I've seen SPs or SBs, but if she was open and understanding and perhaps she herself has gone and did stuff in the past also and brought it up sure I'd discuss it. Some people after a bad break up or divorce have explored many partners after being mono for years. Nothing wrong with being open like that sexually.
Never felt Guilty, but have experienced a “buyer remorse “after leaving a lack lustre session or even an amazing session thinking about all the $ spent and how I could have used that money for…..Savings, investing, purchases, ect.
Put off buying a much needed winter jacket but had no issue booking a 300.00 hour of debauchery with no hesitation, until I stepped out into the freezing cold doing a walk of shame back home.
Put off buying a much needed winter jacket but had no issue booking a 300.00 hour of debauchery with no hesitation, until I stepped out into the freezing cold doing a walk of shame back home.
That's why having a budget, and sticking with it, should always be a part of the 'hobby' (unless you're properly rich). A budget helps keep things 'no regrets'.
I’m going to go a different route here.
There are plenty of men who feel guilt or shame doing this. Both married and single. It is natural. It is not needed but it is natural. It can and will go away with time. If it doesn't, then that might tell you this hobby is not for you.
Try to find providers who enjoy this line of work. That are in this for more then just the money. I know many will say we are all in it for the money but some of us joy the job. There are perks that we crave as well.
As for telling a future partner, I wouldn't. It is not relationship sex. It is transactional. There is no need to say anything.
There are plenty of men who feel guilt or shame doing this. Both married and single. It is natural. It is not needed but it is natural. It can and will go away with time. If it doesn't, then that might tell you this hobby is not for you.
Try to find providers who enjoy this line of work. That are in this for more then just the money. I know many will say we are all in it for the money but some of us joy the job. There are perks that we crave as well.
As for telling a future partner, I wouldn't. It is not relationship sex. It is transactional. There is no need to say anything.
I think the main reason for the male not to tell “civilian” women about this activity is that “civilian” women have been brainwashed into believing that sex workers are diseased and/or non-GFE. Once the guy patiently explains that the STI rate among higher-end sex workers is lower than the sexually active general populace and that he has been receiving wonderful DFK, BBBJ, etc. from these delightful sex workers, the “civilian” woman’s reaction will inevitably be, so do I get 300 loonies for doing all of that with you, too.
No - it is more than that. It is about the likelihood of them doing it again. It is so easy to do that they may do it in the current relationship.
It's very easy to get action on the side unless you're bad at hiding things lol. I'd say most guys in this hobby probably would get action on the side still if their partner's sex drive decreased and their's didn't. And if she knows from you about your hobby past and she's not an open person to allow that then she'll probably track you extremely well. One of my exes dated cheaters and when we were together (I've never cheated nor do this hobby when in an actual relationship) she'd be worried about me based on her past and I had no issue with her browsing my phone and stuff. I solely use FB the odd times for family/friends and these aren't friends I flirt with and nor do I have IG/Snap, etc. which tend to lead some people into cheating nowadays by reconnecting with folks and meeting new attractive folks.
I think more generally, while a client can (or should) never really know what a provider has going on in their life, there's a strong case to be made for clients to TRY to participate in this 'hobby' in the most ethical way they reasonably can. Trying not to hand money (more or less directly) to the shittiest possible intermediaries, or to take direct advantage of a woman in crisis, is one of the better ways to be able to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror the next day. That's not to claim that every escort you're likely see is going to be magically free of issues or problems. Few of us are. But a person can TRY.
Don't feel guilty. Sex work is as old as human civilization. You only live once, for a relatively short period of time, so you
may as well enjoy yourself.
In terms of a future girlfriend, just tell her that you're not a virgin and get an STI check before becoming exclusive with her.
may as well enjoy yourself.
In terms of a future girlfriend, just tell her that you're not a virgin and get an STI check before becoming exclusive with her.
