Farting on the Subway

[canucklehead]

The other morning i was heading to a client after dropping my car off at Downtown Fine and had my iPod on listening to some Nina Simone checking out his hot young ebony goddes that smiled back at me. We played the eye contact smerk eyes dart away shy game for a few minutes. I noticed she kept lookinng longer nad longer into my eyes as i was staring at her. i had my iPod still playing away and i knew i felt the gas coming on for a while and if i decided to talk to her i did not want to stink up the encounter. So i thought to myself if i slowly let it out before i approach her all will be well as no one would know.
Just as i was in full contraction and control of slowly letting the gas leak out she got up and sat next to me and put her hand on my thigh. Well my whole spinchter screamed, "let it rip!!!". My god i heard it over the music of my iPod, the gutteral ripping sound. In fact everyone within 15 ft heard it. I just sat there not knowing what to do. She had the look of terror and disgust as if i had been eating a new born.......

 

[thecoolguyms72]

So, did ya bang her?

 

[holden]

Did you ask her to toss your salad?

 

[islandman4567]

where's the rest of this story ? you can't start a joke and not tell the punch line !!!

 

[The Truman Show]

This story stinks ...

 

[baci2004]

ROTFLMAO!!.........ROTFLMAO!!!!!

I can sympathize, one night at fyeo I was having a dance with Natalia. (petite blonde Czech cutie pie) I was flirting like there was no tomorrow with the hopes of taking her home that night; Just when things were starting to look favorible for me, she made me laugh....through my nose. Well my friends there was no hope after that lol. She got up went over to the bar a grabbed a mit full of cocktail napkins and we cleaned each other up

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Hey they outlawed smoking and now they have to work on flatulence. Wonder what the signs will look like....

 

[flyingdgn]

The subway is one of my fav. places to release methane. I don't care now loud or stinky it is, I just give the guy next to me a dirty look and I'm in the clear.

The poor guy next to me always has the same look. "What! What ! What did I do!?"

 

[WhaWhaWha]

A hard thing to defend is when I board an empty elevator filled with someone else's stench and then on the next floor other people board and give me a dirty look.

Hey it wasn't me!!

 

[flyingdgn]

A hard thing to defend is when I board an empty elevator filled with someone else's stench and then on the next floor other people board and give me a dirty look.

Hey it wasn't me!!

Oops. When I let out a really bad stinker in the elevator I usually get off on the next floor and take another elevator down. He He He He....

The worst I ever smelled in the elevator was from this old asian guy. He let one out that smelled like rotting rice. The smell was so nasty that I held my breath for 23 floors. Made me consider moving out of the PH floor to something on the ground floor.

 

[pool]

I have one more pic of her left. Who is she???

no idea, but it's a hot pic

 

[canucklehead]

ok ok ...... after the look of disgust she could not help but laugh as i already had been holding in a gut buster ...... i had to get off the train and laweence and we gave each oter smerky hop to smell u l8r look

 

[drlove]

LMAO at this thread.

 

[xarir]

Did you at least get her phone #?

 

[matrix2004]

LOL....So I guess the moral of this story is: breaking wind is not the best way of breaking the ice.

 

[bkspoiler11]

farting is good!!!

If a girl got offended or was in disgust because I farted in front of her, I would just say oh well I farted. Any woman who doesn't like a guy farting in front of them isn't worth my time. You gotta go when you got to go. That's the bottom line! Remember Shrek said better out then in! I live by that rule!

 

[Homo Erectus]

What I used to hate on the subway is smelling a mixture of 20 different perfumes in the morning. That was way worse than taking a wiff of a fart.

 

[phelan]

lol...needless to say i had a fun laugh tellin some friends bout it.

 

[yennut]

This reminds me of when I got married. On my wedding night I held my new brides head under the covers and let rip a huge smelly fart. I reasoned if she stuck around after that then she was a keeper. Well guess what boys. I've been married for 27 years and fart to my heart's content whenever and wherever I want. Isn't life grand!

 

[flyingdgn]

I always wondered,

If we are so offended by the smell of a fart, why does everybody take a really good double whif of it when they find out that it's out there?