Falling in Love with Someone thats Married

[MadonnaLove]

I would never fall for a taken guy but then it happened

We hung out for about 3 years he knew about my job and he didn't judge me. He wasn't a client

Then I got the dreadful text that he can't see me anymore and he wishes the best for me

I didn't realize that i fell for him til I stopped seeing him ......we always got along and had good conversations

I miss him and it taught me a lesson to never fall for a married man again

Have you ever fell for someone thats married ?

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

With compliments.... You rawk Madonna...I give you lots of respect and creds for being this open....

I didn't think as married guy I would ever fall for an MPA, but one time she asked me to promise not to fall for her, I'm like whatever and then once she disappear for good I realized how much I miss her.

It is good that you felt like this as some people never get a chance to feel what it is like to love someone.

 

[Titalian]

I would never fall for a taken guy but then it happened

We hung out for about 3 years he knew about my job and he didn't judge me. He wasn't a client

Then I got the dreadful text that he can't see me anymore and he wishes the best for me

I didn't realize that i fell for him til I stopped seeing him ......we always got along and had good conversations

I miss him and it taught me a lesson to never fall for a married man again

Have you ever fell for someone thats married ?

Bad recipe Modonna, Mine wasn't married but living with a wealthy man. Didn't turn out to well. We live and learn.

 

[John Henry]

Did you know that he was married in the 3 years that you were friends . Did you ever have sex together in those 3 years . I don't know about anyone else here but I certainly wouldn't want my wife to hang around with another guy . Sorry but that's how I FEEL .

Maybe that's why I never married . Life is hard enough never mind dealing with a married partner hanging around someone else .

If you were not in this business would you want your SO to have a great relationship on the outside with a single woman ? Would you say that's OK honey , I trust you .

I don't believe that we're hearing the whole story here .

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I would say never let your previous relationship experiences limit you from your new experience. It is not fair to let the dynamics from one relationship ruin the growth of another even though we may think they are lessons. Sometimes they are but sometimes they limit us.

The guy sounds like a deuchebag for bailing on a true friend.


You know how many times I asked this question. Why do we have to run from love. If we love someone we will want the best for them even if it means not being with the other person because they are married or in a relationship. Why can't we respect their place in life and still maintain friends.

I think true love and friendship is stronger then any marital bind or relationship status....true friends stay like this forever regardless of the changes in life. Why can't we have higher level relationship. Maybe the guy realized he was developing feelings and was affecting his marriage and the guy ran like a little pussy.


You just haven't met a real man that respects you and does not run when feelings are being developed, regardless of your situation or relationship status and still can manage the feelings and value of the friendship you have and does what it takes to feed it and make it work.

Please dont loose hope. There are good men out there and good women. You sound like a great woman that someone would be very fortunate and lucky to know. I have observed your posts since you started on terb and you are as real as it gets. Don't let these deuchebags ruin it for you, there are still nice guys out there!

 

[oil&gas]

Then I got the dreadful text that he can't see me anymore and he wishes the best for me

Text him back telling him to feel free to reconnect with you
whenever he feels ready to divorce his wife.

 

[HobbyHorse]

Recipe for hurt. Say goodbye, draw the curtains and stay in bed for a week (alone). Then get up, shake it off and move on.

 

[MadonnaLove]

The guy sounds like a deuchebag for bailing on a true friend.


You know how many times I asked this question. Why do we have to run from love. If we love someone we will want the best for them even if it means not being with the other person because they are married or in a relationship. Why can't we respect their place in life and still maintain friends.

I think true love and friendship is stronger then any marital bind or relationship status....true friends stay like this forever regardless of the changes in life. Why can't we have higher level relationship. Maybe the guy realized he was developing feelings and was affecting his marriage and the guy ran like a little pussy.


You just haven't met a real man that respects you and does not run when feelings are being developed, regardless of your situation or relationship status and still can manage the feelings and value of the friendship you have and does what it takes to feed it and make it work.

Please dont loose hope. There are good men out there and good women. You sound like a great woman that someone would be very fortunate and lucky to know. I have observed your posts since you started on terb and you are as real as it gets. Don't let these deuchebags ruin it for you, there are still nice guys out there!

I respected that he was married so i never had sex with him. However every time we got together for coffee and amazing conversation i ended up falling for his mind.

Ya i thought he was a douche for ending our friendship too. It was obvious we were attracted to each other but we both respected that he was married.

thank you for the kind words

 

[wangbang]

I think it is harsh to call him a douche. He might have been very conflicted and chose the path of staying with his commitment.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I think it is harsh to call him a douche. He might have been very conflicted and chose the path of staying with his commitment.

Its no excuse to string someone along and use them for the part they are not getting at home, which is typical us married guys like to do, which includes sharing some of the best parts of us to soak up their resonance to it and offer us some sort of feedback, interest and reaction to it back to us. You don't know their story, neither do I. It does not really matter, he was the one who called it off from this post and it seems like it took her by surprise. We really have no idea and can only offer our opinion as he may have been a deuche. Sound like he was using her, because if he wasn't at least that he can do it end it like a man and talk to her and tell her why he is being conflicted and that he can't handle it any more and that he is sorry....etc... if it was all him, 3 years is a long time to string someone along. Only they would know.I know this type very well cause sometimes I find myself fighting the temptation to not do this to others cause I'm not getting the reaction at home thus have the urge of the attitude which makes me say might as well give/get the high to someone else and feed off on their positive reactions to the good parts that get ignored. Its like having all this energy and having no one to receive and react to it which includes the mind part. It sounds like he pulled a bitch move.

 

[Titalian]

Contrary to popular belief, it is always a bad move to strike up a relationship with a married individual whether female or male.
Call me old school, but there is too much at stake here. Just maybe this guy was falling for Madonna, and cut the tie quickly to
avoid further complications to his family and Madonna. There are many ways to judge a situation like this.

 

[Butler1000]

Or maybe,, just maybe, his wife told him she was uncomfortable with the relationship. It happens.

If she wasn't "in love" with him, would she have reacted the same way if he cut off contact? Probably not. We all write off friendships in our lives as our circumstances and people around us change.

There is always a sense of loss in any retionship breakup, be it lover, friend, work, even a place.

 

[Mr Bret]

I think it often happens that people fall in love when they least expect it.
What may start out as an innocent and casual relationship may turn into something very deep and profound with no effort on the part of either party.

As much as we'd all like to think we're in control all the time, I don't think we control our emotions very much.

If it happens and the circumstances are good, then great. If it happens and there's one or two marriages in the way, then you're on a slippery slope and tough decisions have to be made.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Or maybe,, just maybe, his wife told him she was uncomfortable with the relationship. It happens.

If she wasn't "in love" with him, would she have reacted the same way if he cut off contact? Probably not. We all write off friendships in our lives as our circumstances and people around us change.

There is always a sense of loss in any retionship breakup, be it lover, friend, work, even a place.

Why is it OK to cut off a friend of 3 years with a text message. Regardless of the circumstances even if the wife told him to stay away, at least he could have talked to her in person and done it like a man. Right now he is just pulled a coward move.

Its OK to end friendship, but WHY is to OK to take the selfish cowardly approach. This means we are okay then to use people for friends and when its inconvenience for us, or we can't use them anymore cut off the 3 years string like a little bitch.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Contrary to popular belief, it is always a bad move to strike up a relationship with a married individual whether female or male.
Call me old school, but there is too much at stake here. Just maybe this guy was falling for Madonna, and cut the tie quickly to
avoid further complications to his family and Madonna. There are many ways to judge a situation like this.

So why is it OK to cut her off with a text? Would you do this to a friend? Would you not have the guts to do it in person or at least call them if the wife is going cray cray? Would this not be just thinking about yourself and not giving a shit about your friends and how not ending it property will affect them?

 

[Frosty]

Well, I don't know if you can help it. You guys started out as friends, just that you developed feelings for him later on. It could happen. The only thing is your ability to control desires.

 

[bolt.upright]

My wife is smart enough not to make demands like this on me (if that's what indeed happened). I alone choose my friends, as she chooses hers. She has some male friends (I don't mind in the least) and I have mostly female friends. If my wife was uncomfortable with that situation she would either have to suffer through it or leave me. I can't imagine that I would stay with her very long after she makes me jettison my friends.

 

[DeadFish]

Sometimes in life, its just not easy saying goodbye.
Like a pigeon that closes his eyes when a cat approaches, we tend to also block out our fears and try to imagine as though our love/problems do not exist.
not everyone can confront the harsh reality of life, nor can everyone face difficult situations. Most of us have flight reflexes instead off fight reflexes.
I think what is really hurting the OP is that she thinks, he is over her, as he is in a relationship and she is stranded without true love.
Unfortunately, this is part of unrequited love. On a positive note, it makes you hyper-sensitivity to feeling of love and people do tend to use their new found consciousness to heal others when they see others go through a similar situation or perhaps use this to better understand themselves.
I Don't know the guy, but perhaps he was scared off letting you go, if he saw you in person. From the sound of it, he did not take advantage off you nor judge you.
why not focus on the positive and put this behind you.

 

[Butler1000]

Why is it OK to cut off a friend of 3 years with a text message. Regardless of the circumstances even if the wife told him to stay away, at least he could have talked to her in person and done it like a man. Right now he is just pulled a coward move.

Its OK to end friendship, but WHY is to OK to take the selfish cowardly approach. This means we are okay then to use people for friends and when its inconvenience for us, or we can't use them anymore cut off the 3 years string like a little bitch.

It's not ok. But it's probably the best way rather than a personal confrontation. I betting the wife was involved as well.

Is he a bit of a coward, sure. But we don't know what pressure he was under.

 

[Titalian]

Sometimes in life, its just not easy saying goodbye.
Like a pigeon that closes his eyes when a cat approaches, we tend to also block out our fears and try to imagine as though our love/problems do not exist.
not everyone can confront the harsh reality of life, nor can everyone face difficult situations. Most of us have flight reflexes instead off fight reflexes.
I think what is really hurting the OP is that she thinks, he is over her, as he is in a relationship and she is stranded without true love.
Unfortunately, this is part of unrequited love. On a positive note, it makes you hyper-sensitivity to feeling of love and people do tend to use their new found consciousness to heal others when they see others go through a similar situation or perhaps use this to better understand themselves.
I Don't know the guy, but perhaps he was scared off letting you go, if he saw you in person. From the sound of it, he did not take advantage off you nor judge you.
why not focus on the positive and put this behind you.

Very well put, and probably more like what happened. No good person wants to let a good friend go and judging from Madonna's description of the guy he seemed to be.
This was maybe not the best, but probably his only option. Plus given the fact that he never took advantage of her on a sexual level. Deadfish you don't sound at all like your handle. :thumb: