Fake Quotes

[juanbrujo]

Post fake quotes or create your own...

"You can't trust quotes you find on the Internet"

-Abraham Lincoln

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

"Sorry honey, no matter how you zoom in it, it's still only two and a half centimetres long."

- as reported by the last SP he visited.

 

[oil&gas]

"I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question."

-Martin Luther King, JR

 

[oil&gas]

"The devil made me do it"

-Rev Ted Haggard (or name of any disgraced evangelist)

 

[juanbrujo]

"Hi, you’re new in Samos, aren’t you? How about we go back to my place and I’ll show you some of my theorems? One’s got a square root in it. No, I’m not drunk. Not yet."

-Pythagoras

 

[juanbrujo]

"Eva, come to the bedroom. I’ve written a follow-up novel. It’s called Mein Pants."

-Adolf Hitler

 

[juanbrujo]

"And then I suddenly thought to myself... I'm a pig. So, why the hell am I screwing a frog?!?"

-Miss Piggy's Tell-All Memoirs

 

[juanbrujo]

"That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for cutebald."

-Neil Armstrong

 

[juanbrujo]

"E.T. Skype home!"

E.T.

 

[mandrill]

- as reported by the last SP he visited.

Which reminds me:

Elite escort is in a bar and is approached by cheap drunk.

"Hey, honey!" he slurs. "How much do you charge for a fuck?"

"How much are you prepared to offer?" asks the girl.

"$50.00 and not a penny over!" says the lush.

The escort looks at him for a second and says...... "Sorry. I charge by the hour. Not by the size of your dick."And walks away.