First of all, every time you start looking for someone, go jerk off. I'm not kidding. The kids call it post-nut clarity, and we've likely all been there. Often when seeing a provider, as I imagine you have, hence this post. For me, about 50% of the time I see someone, there's a sense of clarity the instant I'm done. For me it's not shame or regret so much as "that wasn't worth it" (even if the provider is good).
I stick to indy massage, which helps me. I only started this hobby about 4-5 years ago, and I never felt great about myself after an SP or hybrid session. Once I switched to massage only, that shame went away, and it was really only a monetary/time wasted issue for me, lol. Like thinking "that wasn't worth it", regardless of how good the session or provider was. Again, it was partly about the $$ and partly about how much time I spent finding someone, setting up an appointment, getting to/from the location, etc. I realized I was taking up several hours of my day when all was said and done, for something that can be taken care of in 5 minutes, for free, with pornhub. Not the same, obviously, but same result - an orgasm - then move on to the rest of my day. Unless you're hyper-sexual, most of us can switch off once we cum, but like most guys, when we're horny, there's no stopping us lol. So achieve the end result you're looking for, first, then decide if you want to continue.
These days, I see someone every 3 months or so just for the human contact. I get myself off when I get the urge to start looking again. And I don't spend nearly as much time trying to find someone, make an appointment, etc. as I used to. I'm also addicted to sex and anything sex related, as is pretty much everyone here. No shame in that. But for me, it's more about the pursuit than it is the ending, which is why I stick to indy massage. And I mean home-based massage providers who may provide extras, not sex workers who provide massage. It sounds stupid, but this way it makes me feel like I'm making a bit of an effort myself and appreciate anything extra I may get from a masseuse who is selective about who they provide endings for. Back in the day, I would try out pretty much any masseuse who advertised on Kijiji or craigslist or wherever, and not go in expecting anything but a massage, and often that's exactly what I would get. But 30-40% of the time, I'd leave happy. Sometimes I'd get WAY more than that (I have some great stories!) But I find these days, there's not a lot of these masseuses out there, it's usually pretty obvious what their business entails.
But every few months when I really get the urge, I book with someone I know provides a solid massage and extras, and that holds me over til the next time I need exactly that. In between, I either take care of myself when I start thinking along those lines, or I hit up Kijiji and start asking any new ads I haven't seen before. If any of those work out, I may see them. Sometimes it's just a decent massage and if it was good, I just jerk one out quickly once she leaves the room (we've all been there, lol). Related, I've been caught a few times doing that, unintentionally, and it's lead to a helping hand a few times (and once, a lot more than that!), or at least a giggle and a "don't worry about it!" I don't recommend doing that on purpose though, as it's also been uncomfortable a couple of times. I've seen enough independent home-based masseuses to be pretty accurate about how open they are about things like this. If you're fully draped throughout, especially with a heavy sheet, then forget about anything lol. But many are absolutely fine with you being completely undraped and even tell you so, without you asking. Doesn't mean you're going to get an ending, but it does mean they're not offended by a huge erection and likely wouldn't be offended if you take care of it yourself after they've left the room
IME experience, home-based independent masseuses are far more exciting than seeing someone you know will give you more, for a price, and it keeps me grounded and shame-free. I've also gotten to know a handful of these masseuses a little bit over the years, and many actually enjoy massaging men for the same reasons we men would enjoy massaging women
I've talked to a few who say they often get turned on (depends on who they're massaging obviously, just like real life. Decent looking, nice body, nice cock, good personality etc.) They can also be attracted to a client, or their body. I know a fully legit RMT who has said she definitely enjoys working on men she finds attractive (but keeps it 100% professional, obviously). For me, this is much of the excitement I get from this. If I book with someone who I know provides me extras, then there wasn't any effort on my part about it, and therefore it's not too exciting for me. If I book with someone who I have little to no idea about, and something does happen, then it makes me feel like it's partially me, if that makes sense, even if it's somebody who's simply selective about who they provide extras for. That means, at least, they're comfortable with me, and occasionally that they're actually into it. And for the handful of times it was clearly the provider being horny/attracted to me in some way, that makes it so much better, because it's genuine
It's rare, obviously, but all the same, it can happen.
Anyway, orgasms clear the mind, lol
