Do you love to write?

[Sardonicus]

The Blue Pages is seeking amateur writers to fill various nitches.

Perhaps the memoirs of a hobbyist? We'd love to post the thoughts of both client and sp. With the new launch of our Jezebelle Diary, it would make a great compliment to add the client perspective.

Ideally, the candidate would have many years of hobbying under their respective belt (no pun intended) from which to draw from.

Also, if you're funny and off-beat, I'd love to put out a new feature column "fark-ing" (Lampooning) various porn/celebrity predicaments, faux pas, etc. Better still if you're in the biz in some capacity.

If interested, please pm or email me for more details at:
sardonicus@the-blue-pages.com

 

[Goober Mcfly]

...Also, if you're funny and off-beat...

Shit. I wish the old Goober was around.

 

[Sardonicus]

If you guys are serious, I'd love to have your thoughts and comments. We'll give each of you a feature column.

Sheik? You'd be awesome doing a serial introspective on the industry and Goober could provide some witty stream-of-consciousness pokes and jabs at both sides of the fence with respects to the biz. I think it would be pretty cool!

You guys ain't pulling my leg are ya?

 

[Goober Mcfly]

Nobody would want to read that.

 

[wrong hole]

Nobody would want to read that.

....i concur

 

[Sardonicus]

Perhaps I erred in not clarifying but I didn't mean anything mean-spirited. Light hearted fun stuff... Any suggestions? I'm certainly open to any.

 

[Goober Mcfly]

Listen. Nobody wants to know how my mind works. Not even the psychologists looking for a test subject for their Doctorate thesis entitled "Abnormal responses to sexual stimulii, a study in the use of ferrets".

Picture the following. My mind is like a male hamster on one of those cruel wheels. You know, the ones where the little bugger runs and runs and runs and doesn't get anywhere. Only, there's a marvellous looking female hamster with big boobies standing outside the wheel, taunting the male hamster with cedar chips and sexual innuendo that would make Andrew Dice Clay look nervously down and clear his throat.

There was a point to this, but I don't know what it is anymore.

 

[wrong hole]

Listen. Nobody wants to know how my mind works.

...i concur

 

[Sardonicus]

Goob? Porn valley would love your twisted mind...

 

[Goober Mcfly]

Are you saying I could write the dialogue for pornos?

Hmmm. Must. Do. Research.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Writing requires correct spelling right?

Just checking.....

 

[Sardonicus]

With a little preamble to introduce yourself, this would make a great little mindless piece of stream-of-consciousness commentary I was looking for.

Wanna know how many porn directors feel the same way? They'd love ya.

Another approach would be something like the mafioso guy on www.askmen.com

The dude's a hoot. The funny thing is, much of what he says is applicable to everyday life and the juxtopositions he makes are just too funny.

Perhaps an explanation of the escort biz in similar terms would hit the funny bone. I dunno... Maybe you and Sheik could collaborate as the two of you seem to have the repartee going between you two.

Listen. Nobody wants to know how my mind works. Not even the psychologists looking for a test subject for their Doctorate thesis entitled "Abnormal responses to sexual stimulii, a study in the use of ferrets".

Picture the following. My mind is like a male hamster on one of those cruel wheels. You know, the ones where the little bugger runs and runs and runs and doesn't get anywhere. Only, there's a marvellous looking female hamster with big boobies standing outside the wheel, taunting the male hamster with cedar chips and sexual innuendo that would make Andrew Dice Clay look nervously down and clear his throat.

There was a point to this, but I don't know what it is anymore.

Oh, and another thing Goober, you're already pretty much aware of the maximum sentence length for porn scripts. Don't need much further research in my opinion...

Hmmm. Must. Do. Research.

 

[Sardonicus]

Well if you ask Sardonicus, he will tell you that I've already corrected him

Damn, be a writer and an editor and let someone else do the publishing....


Okay, give me a topic and I'll make something up to fit the topic then </wiseass>

Yes you have Sheik. lol

Another topic eh? Hmmm. How about:

Differences between Canadian and American hobbyists? Take the serious differences (ie demographics, culture, etc), turn it inside-out and make it funny. Or something to that effect.