Do you know any narcissists?

[wazup]

My earliest memories of my dad is that I never liked him, mostly because I was afraid of him. I Kept contact over the years mostly because I thought I owed him something and did family functions to keep others happy for the most part. He is old now and getting clingy, I feel like our relationship has run its course as he seems like he will Iive many more years.

I read up on narcissism and it seemed to fit him perfectly. Anyone had dealings or relationships with a narcissist?

 

[Grimnul]

I don’t pay attention to other people, they’re just not important. So the only one I know is me, and I’m perfect, so no, don’t know any narcissists.

 

[shakenbake]

My earliest memories of my dad is that I never liked him, mostly because I was afraid of him. I Kept contact over the years mostly because I thought I owed him something and did family functions to keep others happy for the most part. He is old now and getting clingy, I feel like our relationship has run its course as he seems like he will Iive many more years.

I read up on narcissism and it seemed to fit him perfectly. Anyone had dealings or relationships with a narcissist?

Narcissism is all bout 'Me, Me, Me!' the more you feed a narcissist, the more they drain you. I have at least one or two in my relations, and they are not alt all peasant to deal with.

The best advice that I can give you is, do not feed them the attention that they crave. Do you need a specific relationship or association with a particular narcissist?

Narcissists also feed on altruistic people, and altruists are natural victims, IMHO. maybe, you shouldn't be too altruistic, even with your father. Does he really need you? Do you really need him. If it's only for the sake of keeping up a false family fa[FONT=&quot]ç[/FONT]ade, then stop! You are more important than that.

I could go on and on about the narcissists in my life. However, it is best to not be obsessed with them, and that is another piece of advice I have for you.

 

[Spacealien2]

Nothing can compare to a father-son bond. Don't let it break.

 

[wazup]

Nothing can compare to a father-son bond. Don't let it break.

A few years ago when I was living out west for a year, my mom called telling me he was in the hospital with some kind of health issue. I hung up the phone and never had another thought about it. There is no bond.

When you grow up afraid of a parent, there is simply zero bond and never will be. He never taught me a damn thing.

 

[JuanGoodman]

Nothing can compare to a father-son bond. Don't let it break.

I think so too. Here is a one sentence conclusion to an article I just read about "Father Son Relationship":

"The optimal outcome, as men move forward toward resolving their feelings with their fathers, is to no longer be entangled with them through anger or hurt."

That statement is probably true about other human relations as well. Not just Father and Son.

 

[JuanGoodman]

A few years ago when I was living out west for a year, my mom called telling me he was in the hospital with some kind of health issue. I hung up the phone and never had another thought about it. There is no bond.

What is the problem than? Move on.

 

[Charlemagne]

YES
It's a common trait though.

 

[wazup]

What is the problem than? Move on.

You're right but it would involve me moving to a new city, not something I want to do at my age.

 

[JuanGoodman]

You're right but it would involve me moving to a new city, not something I want to do at my age.

I meant move on emotionally not physically. If in your mind you are done with the "old man", what is the problem?

I just hope you don't regret you decision later.

 

[Spacealien2]

A few years ago when I was living out west for a year, my mom called telling me he was in the hospital with some kind of health issue. I hung up the phone and never had another thought about it. There is no bond.

When you grow up afraid of a parent, there is simply zero bond and never will be. He never taught me a damn thing.

That's what you feel now. You never know how you'd feel later on. When he passes away, you -will-, at some point in your life, regret that you treated him like shit.

What about spending some man-to-man time with him and try to understand each other?

 

[JuanGoodman]

That's what you feel now. You never know how you'd feel later on. When he passes away, you -will-, at some point in your life, regret that you treated him like shit.

What about spending some man-to-man time with him and try to understand each other?

Moving away from any relationship doesn't necessarily mean you are treating the other person "like shit". As long as you are not being abusive. In the grownup world we have to make decision like that sometime. I don't think anyone can tell you what to do. You have to feel it inside you. Only you know best what you have to do. Only know that you will have to live with that decision for ever.

 

[Spacealien2]

Moving away from any relationship doesn't necessarily mean you are treating the other person "like shit". As long as you are not being abusive. In the grownup world we have to make decision like that sometime. I don't think anyone can tell you what to do. You have to feel it inside you. Only you know best what you have to do. Only know that you will have to live with that decision for ever.

Yes. He needs to do the right thing. And what is right only he himself can answer. He just needs to think it through and find the best outcome.

 

[JuanGoodman]

Yes. He needs to do the right thing. And what is right only he himself can answer. He just needs to think it through and find the best outcome.

Exactly!

 

[Spacealien2]

Exactly!

Being a man 101

 

[JuanGoodman]

Being a man 101

No user guide included.

 

[Spacealien2]

No user guide included.

Lost when my grandpa died

 

[Spacealien2]

No user guide included.

Okay here's the gist of it.

There's point A, and point B. Walk from point A to B. Path to success!

 

[JuanGoodman]

Lost when my grandpa died

Hay man, I know you. Don't fuck around :biggrin:

But I would say that there is so much hate and anger in this world, that if you can overcome some of your personal negative feeling and give someone a smile and a spark of happiness , that's good. Your old man might hope that you do that. Or not.

 

[JuanGoodman]

Okay here's the gist of it.

There's point A, and point B. Walk from point A to B. Path to success!

It's only an illusion. You are going nowhere. It's always, here and now.