Dating a women much older than you are?

[assholee]

Hey guys, I haven't been around for a while because I've been dating a women much older than I am. I'm under 22 and I'm dating a women who is just under 35 (keeping it sort of a secret). She has 2 kids with different 2 men but was never married. She is really into me and loves me a lot, and when I try to break up with her she cries and everything that girls do and I don't have the heart to leave her. We're currently in a serious relationship, but I'm not sure anymore.

Btw, she gives me sex whenever I want and however I want. Thats the biggest plus right now but she already talks about marriage and possibly a kid in the future. And no, I've never used a condom with her.

Anyways, the age difference, opinions?

 

[Petzel]

Hey guys, I haven't been around for a while because I've been dating a women much older than I am. I'm under 22 and I'm dating a women who is just under 35 (keeping it sort of a secret). She has 2 kids with different 2 men but was never married. She is really into me and loves me a lot, and when I try to break up with her she cries and everything that girls do and I don't have the heart to leave her. We're currently in a serious relationship, but I'm not sure anymore.

Btw, she gives me sex whenever I want and however I want. Thats the biggest plus right now but she already talks about marriage and possibly a kid in the future. And no, I've never used a condom with her.

Anyways, the age difference, opinions?

Sounds like someone i know.

 

[assholee]

Sounds like someone i know.

hopefully you don't know me or her hahaha!!!

 

[woodee]

Well you will soon to be a father....13 years is not that much......the older you get the less the difference will seem....enjoy the relationship for what it is......and please don't whine when she becomes pregnant....

 

[GG2]

You'll be the 3rd baby's daddy. She sounds like a real winner - typical white trash.

You probably already contracted an STD. Should have worn a rubber.

Does she have a body like this? Meet her in Hamilton?

 

[FatOne]

She has 2 kids with different 2 men but was never married. ..., and when I try to break up with her she cries and everything that girls do ... And no, I've never used a condom with her.

Anyways, the age difference, opinions?

You are bat shit crazy. Yeah, the age is the thing you should be concerned about here... not!

 

[assholee]

You'll be the 3rd baby's daddy. She sounds like a real winner - typical white trash.

You probably already contracted an STD. Should have worn a rubber.

Does she have a body like this? Meet her in Hamilton?

no her body looks better than that. Btw I watch her eat her birth control pills at night

and she has a stable job in management so shes financially set, so its more of an age thing for me.

 

[CapitalGuy]

You're nuts. The day will come when she is in her 50's or 60's (or sooner), and you don't want to fuck her anymore. But you'll be balls deep in the relationship, emotionally and financially, and possibly with a kid. So you're stuck with a granny instead of the younger gal you may well be able to get (assuming you don't fall apart as you age, too). Yes some women age well, but not so many.

Then, looking way ahead, the day will come when you are ready to retire and travel the world, but she will be too old to keep pace. At 60, you will hopefully still be young and fit enough to be active. But she will be in her early 70's and unlikely to want to fly around the world or go RV'ing or play golf for weeks on end or whatever the hell you will want to do when you're retired.

That's the strictly physical and entirely selfish view!! Oh well!! Its better to be selfish the other way, and let the girl suffer because you're too old to do the things she wants you to do. They deal with that shit better than us visual, shallow men do. Love probably comes into the equation, but dude, she's too old for you. Fuck her for now, but don't get her pregnant, and walk away as soon as you meet a woman your own age. Better yet, wait until you're her age and marry a woman 10 years younger than you. Looks matter, no matter what the ladies in here are going to chime in and say about love and friendship. Looks matter. Health matters. Age matters.

 

[assholee]

CapitalGuy that's exactly what I'm worried about. Especially since I have this really hot girl my age that lives 2 minutes away from me and willing to date me (but its unknown, who knows if it would work out relationship wise). On the other hand, I know this older women would never leave me.

 

[Mod100]

Hey guys, I haven't been around for a while because I've been dating a women much older than I am. I'm under 22 and I'm dating a women who is just under 35 (keeping it sort of a secret). She has 2 kids with different 2 men but was never married. She is really into me and loves me a lot, and when I try to break up with her she cries and everything that girls do and I don't have the heart to leave her. We're currently in a serious relationship, but I'm not sure anymore.

Btw, she gives me sex whenever I want and however I want. Thats the biggest plus right now but she already talks about marriage and possibly a kid in the future. And no, I've never used a condom with her.

Anyways, the age difference, opinions?

Do you trust that she's faithfully using birth control? This would not be the first time that pregnancy is used to hold a guy.

 

[FatOne]

As I understand it, if you move in with her, after a few years the government can put you on the hook for the bastard kids. I could be wrong, but I'd wanna check into that also.


I still think you are nuts for even considering her ignoring the age thing.

 

[afterhours]

Run.

 

[Stoo]

Run.

Fast. And Far.

You say you have tried to dump her but that she cried about it. If you want out of the relationship, get out. You are being used.

 

[Samurai Joey]

Hey guys, I haven't been around for a while because I've been dating a women much older than I am. I'm under 22 and I'm dating a women who is just under 35 (keeping it sort of a secret). She has 2 kids with different 2 men but was never married. She is really into me and loves me a lot, and when I try to break up with her she cries and everything that girls do and I don't have the heart to leave her. We're currently in a serious relationship, but I'm not sure anymore.

Btw, she gives me sex whenever I want and however I want. Thats the biggest plus right now but she already talks about marriage and possibly a kid in the future. And no, I've never used a condom with her.

Anyways, the age difference, opinions?

It seems that many of the TERB responses suggest that you should run, as if the age thing is the most important thing in the relationship (a rather shallow and superficial way to assess things), so let me provide an alternative way to think about it.

Here's my question for you -- do you really love and care about her, and willing to be in a committed relationship (possibly marriage) with her? If your answer is no (or you have any serious doubts) then you should be a man and be honest and forthright with her and end the relationship, as you are simply being unfair to yourself and to your SO by stringing her along.

Again, my 2 cent's worth, so take it for what it's worth.

 

[The Options Menu]

You're nuts. The day will come when she is in her 50's or 60's (or sooner), and you don't want to fuck her anymore. But you'll be balls deep in the relationship, emotionally and financially, and possibly with a kid. So you're stuck with a granny instead of the younger gal you may well be able to get (assuming you don't fall apart as you age, too). Yes some women age well, but not so many.

I dated a woman a decade my senior a handful of years ago. I though she was a couple of years older than me, in the 'couple' sense. I just about fell off my chair when I discovered her age. IT HONESTLY WASN'T A PROBLEM. She was fit, didn't smoke, had no kids, looked young, and drank but wasn't a raging alcoholic. The age was never a factor... Most people simply didn't see much of a gap. Eventually it ended for other reasons.

If it would have worked, the age wouldn't have been the problem...

As far as the other folks here saying, 'My god, what happens if she starts looking wayyyy old?'. If it's that big a deal to him, he's on the TERB. He'll figure it out, or he could cut bait and run (Assuming he's not father #3). In the case of the OP, 2 kids with 2 fathers. That would give me serious pause. I feel confident that I could be a father (sooner than later), but I know damn well I'm happy being nobodies daddy right now. If I ran I would have run at that!

To the OP: Yeah, she's older and she has kids. If you love her, and she loves you, and there are no other red flags, and you're fine with the her age right now and the kids (that I'd have a hard time getting over), don't let anybody scare you into running. It's your happiness! If you're happy, be happy! It's rare enough. (Though, like all men, you should be sensible and cover your legally ass when it comes time for that.) If she happens to age poorly, after a decade of mutual happiness, and continued happiness about everything but her aging, what have you lost? By then it might not be that important to you, and that is a bridge you can cross then.

For all of the guys saying 'go young', I say, 'go reasonable' and and focus on being happy.

edit: Though kids and the lack of condoms give me serious pause.

 

[zigma99]

I became friends with a woman twice my age when I was around 32. She was quite good looking for her age (blonde, blue eyes), had maintained body through exercise and very few wrinkles on her face. She lived alone and would invite me over to her place. Well, we ended up in bed on my 3rd visit. Let me tell you, she was amazing in bed. Since I lived nearby, I ended up going to her place nearly every evening. This continued for about 6 months till I had to leave the city due to my job. I subsequently lost touch with her as I couldn't go back to that place for some time.
Now this was totally a FWB situation...no money involved

 

[rex_baner]

Well you said you tried to break up and even if you don't have the heart to go through it, do you have the heart to deal with the reasons why you wanted to break up in the first place? You probably should just go though with the break up if you feel you need to. Even if it makes you feel bad, you may feel worse if you don't.

Take it from me... last time my buddy stayed with his girl because she cried and "everything girls do" she ended up tricking him into a kid ( got the doctor to remove the birth control device with him knowing) and now he had to drop out of school supporting this kid and he eventually broke up with the girl because the SAME reasons why he wanted to in the first place. Her tears made him feel bad and he didn't have the heart to do it and now hes stuck with a kid and now working 2 jobs instead of going college anymore.

Feeling bad for a month is better than living unhappy for years.

 

[LKD]

age is just a number really, socially constructed to identify and categorize people in society. What matters is are you happy being with her, does she make you happy? If you had to put age aside, would it work out for you? Everyone will get old. You should be with a girl you enjoy being around and makes you happy, whether it means being with a girl who is young and beautiful, or freaky in bed or an older woman with experience, Don't pick a girl because of societal pressures if the girl makes your life miserable.

Lastly, like others have said, the older you get, the less age will matter. I remember when I was in highschool, being chased by girls who were a grade lower than me. I used to be creeped out and say 'NO WAY'. Than I got to university, and being mixed with classmates from 16 to 45 yrs old changed my outlook. These days I don't mind being with a woman with a 15+ yr age difference if she makes me happy.

 

[69Shooter]

age is just a number really, socially constructed to identify and categorize people in society. What matters is are you happy being with her, does she make you happy? If you had to put age aside, would it work out for you? Everyone will get old. You should be with a girl you enjoy being around and makes you happy, whether it means being with a girl who is young and beautiful, or freaky in bed or an older woman with experience, Don't pick a girl because of societal pressures if the girl makes your life miserable.

Lastly, like others have said, the older you get, the less age will matter. I remember when I was in highschool, being chased by girls who were a grade lower than me. I used to be creeped out and say 'NO WAY'. Than I got to university, and being mixed with classmates from 16 to 45 yrs old changed my outlook. These days I don't mind being with a woman with a 15+ yr age difference if she makes me happy.

Interesting... I thought age represented the number of years since you were born?

 

[djk]

Btw, she gives me sex whenever I want and however I want. Thats the biggest plus right now but she already talks about marriage and possibly a kid in the future. And no, I've never used a condom with her.

LOLOL.

She wants to have a kid with you and you are not using a condom?

Again, LOLOLOL.