Dating a single parent.

[le.broke.gear]

I've noticed that there are quite a few single parents at my work place, many of whom are in their early to mid 30s, either divorced or separated, and are dating. Being a single guy in his mid 20s with limited dating experience, would it be wise to date a single parent of similar age? I'm in no rush to get married, but I feel like I'm missing the connection that I would share with a SO.

Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated!

 

[realthing69]

Go ahead and date single moms...as long as the ex is cool and you're OK with her kid(s).

 

[realthing69]

Too much baggage honestly if you ask me! While it may be cute to chill with her kids, do you really want to raise her kids in the long run or would you rather have your own?

You can still have your own kid(s)...A single mom (early 30's) I was dating had one kid and she was really nice and her kid was great too. What killed it for me was her ex trying to cause trouble (didn't want the headaches). Anyways, years later she re-married and had two more kids!

 

[le.broke.gear]

Too much baggage honestly if you ask me! While it may be cute to chill with her kids, do you really want to raise her kids in the long run or would you rather have your own?

I hear a lot of people talk about extra baggage being an issue, but personally it doesn't bug me as much. TBH, I'm not perfect either, so if they can accept me for being myself, I'm sure I can return the favor.

As for kids, why can't you raise their kid and still have your own?

 

[LKD]

sure why not... As long as the girl isn't desperately looking for a father figure for her kid, I say why not. Some women just want to date and have fun... they need to fuck too you know. Some will even make it clear from the start that they are a single parent but aren't looking for a father for their kid as they have their own dad who is part of their life. I'd usually run if they tell me they need a father for their kid, got a jealous ex who they still see and bring around.

 

[bobistheowl]

I've noticed that there are quite a few single parents at my work place, [many of whom are in their early to mid 30s with SOs. Being a single guy in his mid 20s with limited dating experience, would it be wise to date a single parent of similar age? I'm in no rush to get married, but I feel like I'm missing the connection that I would share with an SO.

Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated!

Re: bold text: Is this really what you meant, ie: they are single parents, with Significant Others? So, they're either lesbian mothers, or in a common law relationship? That's asking for trouble. If you meant they are separated or divorced, and not currently in a relationship, then they don't have a SO.

The quality of the advice you will get will depend on your clarification of what you meant. Asking someone out, when you know they are involved with someone else, is never a good idea, and especially not someone at work!

I don't think that's what you meant. Maybe you should edit your original post.

 

[Petzel]

Too much baggage honestly if you ask me! While it may be cute to chill with her kids, do you really want to raise her kids in the long run or would you rather have your own?

Who is saying anything about raising her kids? You're way ahead of yourself on this. He's not considering getting married.....geez!

 

[Aardvark154]

Related to the not infrequent should I date a woman from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus etc. . . threads. That many Westerners are willing to marry such women and actually love their children is the one real advantage Western men have.

 

[Aardvark154]

Re: bold text: Is this really what you meant, ie: they are single parents, with Significant Others? So, they're either lesbian mothers, or in a common law relationship? That's asking for trouble. If you meant they are separated or divorced, and not currently in a relationship, then they don't have a SO.

The quality of the advice you will get will depend on your clarification of what you meant. Asking someone out, when you know they are involved with someone else, is never a good idea, and especially not someone at work!

I don't think that's what you meant. Maybe you should edit your original post.

You beat me to it!

 

[le.broke.gear]

Re: bold text: Is this really what you meant, ie: they are single parents, with Significant Others? So, they're either lesbian mothers, or in a common law relationship? That's asking for trouble. If you meant they are separated or divorced, and not currently in a relationship, then they don't have a SO.

The quality of the advice you will get will depend on your clarification of what you meant. Asking someone out, when you know they are involved with someone else, is never a good idea, and especially not someone at work!

I don't think that's what you meant. Maybe you should edit your original post.

Sorry... bad wording. What I meant was that they are separated or divorced and have a kid and dating...

 

[Aardvark154]

Sorry... bad wording. What I meant was that they are separated or divorced and have a kid and dating...

Widowed or Divorced is a significant difference from merely separated. Perhaps if it has been months and they are just waiting for a divorce decree to become final, otherwise know the term "rebound relationship."

 

[le.broke.gear]

Why does having a kid equate having 'too much baggage"?
Its not what has happened in a person's life that makes for "baggage" its how they are coping (or much more how they aren't) that makes for dead weight.

I think LKD gives some pretty good advice on this one.. Lots of nice sexy well-adjusted single milfs that could use some nice dates and a good romp in the sheets.

And le.broke.gear, your signature is mega cute

This is how I see it as well. If she's managed to keep herself in check, it won't be an issue at all. If fact, I admired them even more because they have been able to handle a life changing experience so well.

LOL. I love dogs and this pic floored me. Had to steal it.

 

[le.broke.gear]

Widowed or Divorced is a significant difference from merely separated. Perhaps if it has been months and they are just waiting for a divorce decree to become final, otherwise know the term "rebound relationship."

Woah woah woah. No one said anything about widowed... but I do understand what you're trying to say.

 

[afterhours]

Related to the not infrequent should I date a woman from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus etc. . . threads. That many Westerners are willing to marry such women and actually love their children is the one real advantage Western men have.

Westerners are not willing to love their children. Westerners are willing to eat shit in order to get a piece of pussy. I wonder whether it can properly be considered an advantage.

 

[Aardvark154]

Westerners are not willing to love their children. Westerners are willing to eat shit in order to get a piece of pussy. I wonder whether it can properly be considered an advantage.

Oh, I don't know about that, I know several Western men with Russian step-children and in very happy marriages and family situations.

One hears about the horror stories, not the run of the mill.

 

[afterhours]

Why does having a kid equate having 'too much baggage"?
Its not what has happened in a person's life that makes for "baggage" its how they are coping (or much more how they aren't) that makes for dead weight.

I think LKD gives some pretty good advice on this one.. Lots of nice sexy well-adjusted single milfs that could use some nice dates and a good romp in the sheets.

And le.broke.gear, your signature is mega cute

Bringing a kid up is a few hundred thousand dollars. That is why it's baggage.

 

[bobistheowl]

Hypothetical: I'm attracted to a woman who has one or more kids.

I'm going to feel more comfortable if the kid(s) is/are older, at least grade school age to mid high school. Younger than that, and the kid may get attached to you more than the mom after a while. If the kid is in late high school or later, they probably don't care whom their mom is dating, and you're just "(insert first name)".

For the, say, 6-15 year old, I would want to have some time alone with the kid, and find out what his/her interests are, which will help in picking the perfect present at a future date. I would let the kid know that I want his/her support, because if their mom has to make a choice between the two of us, she will chose the kid. You'd want the kid to feel that you are adding something positive to their life, rather than making them share their mom. Something like taking the kid to a sports event, or the museum, while mom has the afternoon off to take a bubblebath, will win you points with both. It's actually easier when it's not your own kid, because you have no disciplinary responsibilities, and you can arbitrate more impartially, if need be. You can get respect from peers based on your reputation, but you can only get respect from the young based on your actions.

 

[rex_baner]

Keep in mind when dating a woman with a child you have to accept that being in this relationship you will always be 2nd best. Not saying its a bad thing, but you will be putting more into the relationship than she will because she has a child.

 

[Plan B]

To the OP: Are you crazy?..you state you are in your mid 20s!!! Date single women without kids for now... when you are older and have less options like I do, then go for the single moms..and like Rex said..you will always be 2nd choice with a single mom

 

[freedom3]

Here is why you should never date a single mom:

-You can be held liable for child support for the child. (It's basically like accidentally getting a woman pregnant, except the child doesn't call you daddy and you can't visit him/her.) This is a $200,000.00 obligation over the life of each child. Do a google search of "in locos parentis".
-The baby daddy will constantly be interfering in your life. (Remember: It is the baby daddy that is the baggage, not the child.)

Other than that, it's an awesome idea.