Damn!

Alcohol kills germs dead.
 
vodka and neo-citran... works every time.... and if it doesn't you don't care
 
a 1 player's miracle cure....

1 shot Absinthe
1 Neo-citran
2 gulps of Motrin
2 Tylenol cold tablets
1 vitamin C tablet every 4 hours
As much Green tea as you can drink
A lot of porn
A lot of sleep

I usually wake up feeling a whole bunch better, and while I am awake I don't usually feel too much pain. Sometimes I double the Absinthe and Neo-citran doses if I am really ill.

Disclaimer I am nearly 300 lbs., you may want to adjust doses accordingly.