Corniest Porn Lines

[Kassidy]

Since my day job is at an adult store, I often get saddled with the frustrating task of checking movies that customers claim don't work (9 times out of 10 it is a problem with their equipment not the film). So yesterday I am checking out a DVD, and one of the lines I came across had me howling in laughter. Granted the movie is from a european company and the English is overdubbed onto the movie, but my goodness!

Let me set the scene:

There is a lovely woman who has just checked into a hotel on holiday. She has not had the opportunity to change her currency yet, but decided that the bell hop deserves a tip for carrying her luggage up to her room. She smiles at him and says something unitelligible, which the English overdubbing translates into:

"Her purse was empty, but his balls were not!"

Needless to say the scene of course shifts into her giving him a stellar BJ, but come on! What the heck kind of line is that?!?!?!

So since I am sure there are a lot of porn afficianados out there, I want to know what is the worst line you have ever heard in a porn movie?!

*kisses*
Kissidy

 

[calloway]

Let me set the scene...

Mariah: "Ohh... ya baby... put it in and fark me hard."

CEO: "Ah... Mariah... it is in."

 

[Aristotle]

Corniest porn line ever:

Hi, my name is Aristotle....

 

[Rogie]

My ATF porn dialogue

The scene: cheesy 80s movie where the guy is trying to get with his brother's recent widow. He's making the moves on her, but she's resisting, telling him she's still in mourning. His classic response:

"It's not your fault your husband died in a fiery, cross-median motorcycle accident."

Just drips with sincerity - the level of detail in the response is incredible.

While we're on the topic - what about the worst soundtracks? Once saw a soft core porn with a song with the amazing lines "I knew a man that screwed a chicken // Thank God the chicken died // Somethings shouldn't happen in a barnyard." Where do they get these guys?

 

[a 1 player]

Years ago I saw this movie with John Holmes, can't remember the title. He is lying back on the couch getting head by three women when he says:

"mmmm, now I know what a mother dog feels like".