Cheaper Date?
- Thread starter Jabba
- Start date
What about us poor F**ks that get ripped off before we get to the alter. I'm referring to a "friend" that got suckered into credit card debt being paid off and then had thousands more racked up on his behalf while she was in the process of leaving. There's something to be said for the no illusions aspect of company that charges by the hour
LOL yeah you do if both of you wear same size
Problem is you have problems sitting down after :-(
Sorry but I dont like the navy (if you get my point) ROFL
Problem is you have problems sitting down after :-(
Sorry but I dont like the navy (if you get my point) ROFL
Hey Jabba
I have to take exception (lighthearted -- not looking for a fight here) to the comment about lawyers. I practiced divorce law for many years. I have to tell you I never encountered a lawyer attempting to pad hours by shit-disturbing. In fact I found the opposite. In my own experience I constantly tried to lower the level of acrimony but the client (almost always the wife) would have none of it and a often times response from them was "I would rather you get the money than THAT bastard!" I got out of the practice because I could not stand the constant bickering even though I was billing over $50,000/month. Believe me, the lawyers don't have to do a thing to generate friction -- there is more than enough to go around. Also, there is no such thing as an amicable divorce.
I have to take exception (lighthearted -- not looking for a fight here) to the comment about lawyers. I practiced divorce law for many years. I have to tell you I never encountered a lawyer attempting to pad hours by shit-disturbing. In fact I found the opposite. In my own experience I constantly tried to lower the level of acrimony but the client (almost always the wife) would have none of it and a often times response from them was "I would rather you get the money than THAT bastard!" I got out of the practice because I could not stand the constant bickering even though I was billing over $50,000/month. Believe me, the lawyers don't have to do a thing to generate friction -- there is more than enough to go around. Also, there is no such thing as an amicable divorce.
That may be all fine and dandy from "your" perspective...but that still doesn't make the aforementioned comments wrong to any degree.
My best friend went through a divorce 16 yrs ago. She broke it off, she had claimed that she was different now than when they first hooked up. Since she initiated the breakup, he was floored naturally...and then was angry. Her friends told her to "lawyer up" and get everything she was entitled to...so she got a lawyer who strongly encouraged her to take him for all he was worth. After the initial shock of the split, he settled down and questioned why they needed to go through all this and not just 50/50 split. But as she "lawyered up"...he went and got a lawyer too, who then told him "ah...she went with THEM...they are notorious for chewing people up and leaving the bare bones on the street". They were encouraging her to take everything and garnish his wages for the child support, etc, etc. (when he was in no way against doing his fair part anyway)
They went through a month or two of back and forth BS via the lawyers...until my friend, through common friends...pleaded with her to meet him over coffee together (no lawyers) to just talk. They did and they worked it all out...they ditched the lawyers (still had to pay a lot of $$ for what they did use up to that point...something like a waste of 10,000) and split everything 50/50. He paid for the child support and whatnot...no problem.
They are very good friends now to this day (go for coffee once a week, talk on the phone, etc)...she has remarried, he has chosen not to go down that road again...stayin' single. She made a funny comment to him last year saying "You know...I really wasn't expecting it to be permanent and eventually that you would come back". He laughs about it now, he did the family thing, the child thing, etc...but now that's over and MUCH prefers the last 16 yrs of being a bachelor and doing his own thing.
My best friend went through a divorce 16 yrs ago. She broke it off, she had claimed that she was different now than when they first hooked up. Since she initiated the breakup, he was floored naturally...and then was angry. Her friends told her to "lawyer up" and get everything she was entitled to...so she got a lawyer who strongly encouraged her to take him for all he was worth. After the initial shock of the split, he settled down and questioned why they needed to go through all this and not just 50/50 split. But as she "lawyered up"...he went and got a lawyer too, who then told him "ah...she went with THEM...they are notorious for chewing people up and leaving the bare bones on the street". They were encouraging her to take everything and garnish his wages for the child support, etc, etc. (when he was in no way against doing his fair part anyway)
They went through a month or two of back and forth BS via the lawyers...until my friend, through common friends...pleaded with her to meet him over coffee together (no lawyers) to just talk. They did and they worked it all out...they ditched the lawyers (still had to pay a lot of $$ for what they did use up to that point...something like a waste of 10,000) and split everything 50/50. He paid for the child support and whatnot...no problem.
They are very good friends now to this day (go for coffee once a week, talk on the phone, etc)...she has remarried, he has chosen not to go down that road again...stayin' single. She made a funny comment to him last year saying "You know...I really wasn't expecting it to be permanent and eventually that you would come back". He laughs about it now, he did the family thing, the child thing, etc...but now that's over and MUCH prefers the last 16 yrs of being a bachelor and doing his own thing.
Yeah, pretty much agreed...however as detailed above...rarely it CAN and DOES happen. His is the only case I personally know where they ditched the "aggressive lawyers" and took care of things themselves calmly and collected.
Ok, tough story but I am not so sure you disagree with me. I probably was'nt clear enough. The ABSOLUTE BEST way to conduct a divorce is to do it your selves WITHOUT lawyers until after you have figured out what you want to do. That was always my advice to clients on a first meeting. Use the lawyers only in completing the process. Few, and I mean few people can do this. After all they are splitting up for a reason. Was the firm you reffered to really jacking up fees? You must be careful here as people love to bad mouth lawyers when they really have not done anything wrong. The problem is that the lawyer is professionally bound to go after all legal recourses, otherwise he/she will be sued for malpractice if he/she "misses something." And if a lawyer is going beyond the call of duty the courts have no problem reporting him/her the the law society for disciplinary action.
No, the point I was trying to make was that their lawyers never tried anything to get them to work things out themselves like you said...her lawyer was aggressive in telling her what she "could" get and what she "should" push for.
After they ditched the lawyers and worked it all out...she told my friend that the lawyer she had was seriously pushing her to nail him to the wall and get everything she could out of him (not because she needed to but because she could...hell she made near double what he made per year at that time). She said that she felt like she was getting caught up in a whirlwind of it all because it wasn't her intent to begin with and not being that strong willed a person or whatever you want to call it...she was getting all caught up in it and going with the "instruction" she was being given...which was "take him for everything you can". I hardly call that an example of giving simple advice to a client and letting them deal with it versus being "pushed" and or "intimidated" into doing something that she didn't want to do. Even when she dumped her lawyer they kept stressing to her that she was making a HUGE mistake and would regret it.
After they ditched the lawyers and worked it all out...she told my friend that the lawyer she had was seriously pushing her to nail him to the wall and get everything she could out of him (not because she needed to but because she could...hell she made near double what he made per year at that time). She said that she felt like she was getting caught up in a whirlwind of it all because it wasn't her intent to begin with and not being that strong willed a person or whatever you want to call it...she was getting all caught up in it and going with the "instruction" she was being given...which was "take him for everything you can". I hardly call that an example of giving simple advice to a client and letting them deal with it versus being "pushed" and or "intimidated" into doing something that she didn't want to do. Even when she dumped her lawyer they kept stressing to her that she was making a HUGE mistake and would regret it.
Hi Mable,Mable said:
I understand your sensitivity to the profession and thankyou for responding. It looks like my comment had the desired effect to elicit a response. The operative word was "some" and I certainly did not intend to paint lawyers as the bloodsucking, arrogant, hyper A-type, greedy, mercenary, litigatious, ambulance-chasing, selfish, argumentative, self-serving, sexually inadequate wankers that popular opinion often portrays them to be.
In fact, I can vouch that my own lawyer is not a bloodsucking, arrogant, hyper A-type, greedy, mercenary, litigatious, ambulance-chasing, selfish, argumentative, self-serving, sexually inadequate wanker (although I couldn't really comment on the "sexually inadequate" part - we only have a professional relationship).
Hope this clears things up.
Escort vs Marriage
It maybe be more expensive, but a marriage can provide more than sex
'course there are trade-offs, but if I think you are careful you can have a happy marriage if you take time to truly know an individual before proposing....then again im something of a romantic
on a more pragmatic level, careful means an airtight pre-nup, if you marry smart, she may be the one paying you in a divorce
It maybe be more expensive, but a marriage can provide more than sex
'course there are trade-offs, but if I think you are careful you can have a happy marriage if you take time to truly know an individual before proposing....then again im something of a romantic
on a more pragmatic level, careful means an airtight pre-nup, if you marry smart, she may be the one paying you in a divorce
No such thing as an airtight prenup. Even if it is well drafted by top lawyers she will still try to attack it with the view to manipulating you into a "settlement". Look at Donald Trump. He had a prenup/marriage agreement with Ivana Trump. First thing she did was retain a bus load of lawyers to attack it. He was successful but still paid her in the range of 85 million for 13 years of marriage!!
Jabba
No worries man. I actually like it when we are bashed. Usually the comments are very revealing regarding the issuer!! So take the last "joke." You know, I have been this profession for a long time and with very few exceptions have regarded my acquaintances as very human and humane. Sure the odd bad apple like in any profession.
No worries man. I actually like it when we are bashed. Usually the comments are very revealing regarding the issuer!! So take the last "joke." You know, I have been this profession for a long time and with very few exceptions have regarded my acquaintances as very human and humane. Sure the odd bad apple like in any profession.
