Now here is an idea.
Panama Sex: El Push- Panama’s Sexy Secret
by: Dr. Hazard
Yeah, I know, push-buttons hotels are not unique to Panama. They are fairly ubiquitous in Latin America, especially in Brazil and Argentina, and are popular internationally as well, with Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, the US, and dozens of other countries offering their own take on the concept. Here in Panama, they exist in pretty much every city and town with a population over 500 where people have sex.
Oh-my-GOD!
Is this article going to be about sex?!
Yeah. Buckle up. We are about to go PG-13 all over this bitch.
For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about. Keep reading. For those of you familiar with the concept of the push-button, I think you are going to learn a couple things anyways.
For those of you that are offended by the content of this article, lighten-up, and read on. I argue for their validity (and the reason your next date night should end up there) later on in the article.
Also called ‘love motels’, ‘autohotels’, ‘love shacks’, or the more blunt ‘sex motel’, push-buttons here in Panama are a unique, fascinating aspect of the culture. I am speculating here, based on a small cross-section of my Panamanian friends, but I would say that a significant percentage of the national population here have used these incredible facilities, and everyone knows about them, where they are, and what goes on behind closed [garage] doors.
Garage doors? Huh?
It is true. Most push-buttons here in Panama use a system where the visitors can drive to one of these establishments, pull into a garage, and push a button inside the parking area which will close the garage door behind them, thus ensuring privacy and anonymity to the engaging parties. At that point, you enter the room and have fun. When you are done, you alert them by picking up the phone located in the room, and letting them know.
At that time, they let you know how much you owe (based on the rate per hour advertised on the wall of the garage), and you can pay either by cash or credit card (kinda destroys the anonymity of the event if your bill has ‘Pedro’s Love Palace- $67.82’ on it) through a lazy-susan-esque door where neither you nor the cashier can see each other. After, you exit to the garage and wait in your car while the staff makes sure you paid for everything you used, did not trash the place, and didn’t leave any dead bodies. As soon as they do their sweep, they open the garage, and you are off.
The rooms themselves range from simple to spectacular. They all come with clean sheets and towels, and most have TVs with free cable and adult programming (oh la la!), a decent-sized bathtub or Jacuzzi, a mini-bar with both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, snacks and, ehem, toys and other paraphernalia. Sometimes food, drink and the peripherals (from Viagra to condoms to… er, other things…) can be ordered from a menu, which are delivered through the lazy-susan, and added to your tab. The high-end rooms will sometimes have a ‘sex-swing’ that adds a little ‘naugh-tay’ to the experience.
Most of the rooms have a certain theme to them. ‘Heaven and Hell’, ‘Geisha House’, ‘Jacuzzi Room’, ‘House of Mirrors’, ‘The Cage’, and dozens of others (all in Spanish) are there for you to choose from. Some of these are single rooms with a bathroom, and others can be two-story, four room palaces, where you (hypothetically) could throw a pretty cool party. Normally you can tell which are which based on the price.
A basic room will run about $10 for two hours.
A themed room is normally $20 for two hours.
And the love-palaces? They go for $40 for two hours.
Obviously you can stay for more than the minimum, but there are no discounts for overnight stays—these rooms are meant to be used on a short-term basis.
Now, for those of you that are bewildered, offended, consternated or grossed-out by this concept, consider this– push-buttons are regulated by the government. They have basic sanitary requirements, include inherent safety measures (you can’t leave the garage until the staff has checked out the room), and provide a much-needed service for people of all ages, races and faces.
First and foremost, it is one hell of a thrilling place to spice things up in any relationship. Whether you are married, engaged, dating, or complete strangers, going to a push-button for an intimate date is exciting as hell. You know what you are there for. You can play as loud as you want, and it gives you an excuse to get kinky, role-play, use toys, or just let out your wild side. Let your sexually-explorative side blossom.
For married-with-kids couples, it can be really difficult to get alone time away from the rug-rats. By using a push, you don’t have to worry about them walking in on you, or disrupting in any other manner. Just get a baby-sitter, have a romantic dinner, take a moon-lit walk down the cinta costera, and then enjoy your special-time the way you did before you had a family.
Hell, for most un-married Panamanians, the push is their only alternative. I mean, trying to get intimate with your partner in your parents house is awkward. You are trying to be quiet, the bed is squeaking, you can hear your dad yelling expletives at the game on TV through the wall…. It is just no good. And since most unmarried Panamanians live at home, the push becomes essential.
Finally, there are a couple more scandalous uses of push-buttons, of course. It gives bosses and secretaries an anonymous place to have an affair (which happens to be a somewhat common practice here), and they are frequented by professional (read: ‘working’) women and their clientele.
So check one out for your next erotic adventure. They are all 24-hours, and you can find them throughout the city. Just look for the neon hearts and signs with names like ‘Crucero Del Amor’ or ‘Lindo Sueno’. Transismica and Tumba Muerto have them lining both sides of the roads.
My personal recommendation? Royal Garden Suites (motto- “A different place for different people”). My girlfriend and I made a visit a while ago to one of the two-story places. Very, very cool. Well worth the drive.
If you are interested in visiting a push-button here in Panama City, you can find my top rated push-buttons in Panama City article here.
-Dr. Hazard
