Breakup before or after the holidays?

[lewd]

Been meaning to end a 4 month relationship...things are okay, but she's not "the one" so why drag it on longer than I already have (well the sex has been good).
Yeah I know, break it off now...but it's always kind of a bummer to be alone during the holidays.
But there really isn't a perfect time is there? After Christmas, there's New Years,...then there's Valentine's Day....

 

[grooverider]

Break it off now, or after St. Hallmark's Day (Valentine's Day) there's Good Friday and Easter, Victoria Day, Canada Day, and you don't want to ruin her long weekends, do you?

Then there is the summer, and you don't want to do that in the summer? It's not nice (please note the sarcasm).

By sticking around you are not doing any favours to her or yourself.

Always in the Groove...

 

[xarir]

It's a bummer to be alone during the holidays, but what will you honestly gain by prolonging a relationship you see no future in?

It's never a good day to break up. I actually know someone who broke up on Valentine's Day of all days! She lived to tell the tale.

 

[toolman]

Never throw away a loonie, hoping to find a toonie!

 

[Flower]

Honesty works!

My suggestion is to break up now! That it's the healthiest thing to do!

I would have an open discussion with her, explaining why the relationship isn't working for you and why you feel that it will never go anywhere. Her thoughts and reactions to this may surprise you but in the long run, she should appreciate your honesty.

She may take it badly and you might have to cut off all communications but then again, you may be able to redefine your relationship, still date and socialize but without the same expectations and commitment as before.

I'm not suggesting that you prolong a stagnant relationship, but either bring in to an end or to a level that is agreeable to you both.

You never know, she may be asking her friends the same question that you posted!

Good luck!

 

[Vanessa Valentine]

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

Don't be selfish!

If you're unhappy, break up with her. Don't string her along for the holidays, just to relieve your anxious feelings of being alone.

It's only been 4 months, you can't be that attached...

I'd suggest being honest with her, perhaps you two can stay friends and still spend the holidays together, occasionally engaging in sexual relations? ;-P

Good luck and don't be a pussy!


~Vanessa

 

[BigBlack]

I stayed with an ex and broke up 2 weeks after the holidays. I didn't want to break up prior to Christmas with all the presents bought, and family plans made. Same with New Years a few days later. Had to break it off before Valentine's Day though.

BBLACK

 

[algonquinguide]

special days

Used to work in management.. and one thing they always told us was never fire someone on a special day.. it will just set the tone for failure maybe for them to find something new.. I'm not sure if this relates to relationships.. I would for sure not wait until christmas moring.. (hey why not put it in a christmas card for her to open.. Not a good idea).. but it's still a month away.. well not quite.. so do it now or for ever hold your breath.. well atlease until after the christmas season is over..

That being said.. had to fire someone on their birthday once.. Didn't have a chance had given many warnings.. verbal and writen and it just had to be done.

good luck.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Been meaning to end a 4 month relationship...things are okay, but she's not "the one"

Yea, things aren't working out for her either: you're here on TERB instead of being faithful to her

 

[lewd]

Re: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

Don't be selfish!

If you're unhappy, break up with her. Don't string her along for the holidays, just to relieve your anxious feelings of being alone.

It's only been 4 months, you can't be that attached...

I'd suggest being honest with her, perhaps you two can stay friends and still spend the holidays together, occasionally engaging in sexual relations? ;-P

Good luck and don't be a pussy!


~Vanessa

You'd be surprised how attached one can get in four months! We've done a lot together in that relatively short time both physically and mentally.

But the bottom line is yes, don't be a pussy and lay the cards on the table. I will.
Part of my problem is that while she's not "the one"...I can't help but wonder if "the one" will ever show up!
Which brings that bloody old age question of whether or not to just settle with what you've got.
It doesn't help that I ain't gettin' younger either.

BTW, thanks for all the responses.

 

[Vanessa Valentine]

Re: Re: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

You can't get that attatched to someone in 4 months? I don't know about that one.

Everyone has different feelings and ways of expressing them.

I've fallen faster for some, and a lot less for others...

Vanessa

 

[Vanessa Valentine]

Never "just settle" for anything in life regardless of the situation. If you're not happy or satisfied and you think that there is better out there, and with good reason, then make it happen. Don't live life in regret, wondering "what if...".

Vanessa

 

[kwong_1978]

Break it off NOW! If not, while you're strolling along hand-in-hand the love of your life ("the one") could be walking by and you can't do anything about it. Lewd, the fortunate thing is that it took you 4 months to see she wasn't the one for you. Others take years...

 

[xarir]

Re: Re: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

But the bottom line is yes, don't be a pussy and lay the cards on the table. I will.

Good luck! Keep well.

 

[aptenodytes]

Dump her now. You can use the money you would've spent on presents on yourself, and then you can get someone else after the holidays.

 

[Snook.fr]

It's a bummer to be alone during the holidays, but what will you honestly gain by prolonging a relationship you see no future in?

Free Sex until you find another Sperm Bag.....

*Frenchy is Looking if anyone could possibly have heard that comment....*

Ok, that was a joke....I did not mean to say FREE... LOL

 

[TheNiteHwk]

Do it now...

Then I won't feel like I'm the only one. I recently (8 days ago) walked away from a relationship. I did think about con't it on till after Xmas... but for me my concern was for her... not me. I did not want her to be alone for Xmas. I know she has very few friends and her family all out of the country. I already stalled off once though and put off breaking it up till after her B-Day. I have been thinking about this for awhile. The straw that broke the camels back happened last week-end. So on Sunday... I told her it was over. It was not easy... but I feel I did the right thing.

 

[QB7]

lewd
Are there kids involved - yours or hers???
That may give you some reason to act one way or the other.
Cheers
QB7

 

[lewd]

Re: Break it off.

If you settle, you're entering into a lifetime of unhappiness.

My motto had always been to never settle after seeing a number of my close friends who while still married, are not happy.

Well the majority here seem to agree to break it off now. I'm actually surprised by the lopsided views even though in my heart of hearts, I knew the answer.

And QB7, there are no kids to speak of. But she has mentioned her desire to have some one day. I couldn't quite picture her being the mother of my child.

Breaking up is just one of those things in life you dread having to do and it's not any easier each time.

 

[tigerxxx]

After Christmas, there's New Years,...then there's Valentine's Day....

It's funny that i saw this thread today 'cause i broke up with my gf this morning. We had only been together for a month and a bit but her b-day just went by so i didn't want to do it then, but i wanted to avoid all those holidays coming up so........