Blonde Jokes

[Jade4u]

Blonde and Doorknobs

What do blondes and doorknobs have in common?
Everyone gets a turn

Blonde and Tracks

What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
They have both been laid all over America.

Blonde at the Doctor's

"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor to the young blonde, placing his stethoscope around his neck.
When she is ready, the doc says, "Big breaths."

"Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen!"

Blonde Bedtime

What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10:00 pm?
She goes home.

Blonde Bellybutton

Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised?
Her husband was a blonde too!

Blonde Fish

If a blonde could be any fish, what fish would she be?

A blowfish
Blonde in a Round Room

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Put her in a round room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner!

Blonde in the Morning

Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up?
A: Go home!

Blonde Mating Call

Q: What is the mating call of a blonde?
A: "I'm soooo drunk."

Blonde Multiple Orgasms

What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms?
Great work, team!

Blonde Panties

Why do blondes wear woolen panties?
To keep their ankles warm.

Blonde Who Has it All

What do you give a blonde who has everything?
Penicillin.

Blonde's Air Conditioner

Q: How does a blonde turn on the air conditioner after sex?
A: She turns the ignition key.

Blonde's Backseat

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
''NO!'' yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.

''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''

The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''

Blonde's Coffin

Why's the blonde's coffin shaped like a Y?
Cuz every time she hits her back, her legs spread!

Blonde's Legs

What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one?
Between you and me we could make a lot of money!

Blondes and Bricks

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick wall?
A brick wall's only been laid once!

 

[calloway]

Stacy... you can be "so anal" sometimes.

If a guy said this... we would be sent to our death.

 

[Jade4u]

Stacy... you can be "so anal" sometimes.

Yup definately But I thought that was always.

 

[Marco]

Sorry but I find blonde jokes to be racist against blondes.

Please stop.

 

[Picard]

more blonde jokes

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a difficult birth. In the end, she gave birth to two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"

 

[stang]

What did the blond say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

 

[WhaWhaWha]

A blonde walks into an appliance store and asks for a price on the miniature TV. The clerk apologizes that he can't serve her as their store has a standing policy that they don't sell to blondes. Infuriated she storms out. Being one not to be discriminated against, she buys a wig and dark glasses -- intent on returning to make her purchase and then reveal her true hair color.

The clerk instantly recognizes her and reminds her, I told you last time we don't serve blondes. Shocked at his memory she asks, "What gave me away?"

The clerk said, "Firstly nobody has rainbow colored hair and secondly that's a microwave oven."

 

[Geminixoxo]

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in
search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices box full
of frogs.

The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee!
(Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and
whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man
packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and put the frog down "there".

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her disappointment, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."

So, the girl calls the pet store. The man says, "I had some complaints
earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her
doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.

"The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"