BDSM: Level of Sexual Contact

[SimsVic]

So what do the frequenters of dommes and the dommes themselves think? I personally prefer certain things such as rimming, body worship, foot worship, GS... but I would never expect full service, and I honestly don't expect a release courtesy of the domme, although I do expect the opportunity for a release.

Is any kind of sexual contact taboo for a domination session? Personally, I think that sex and domination can go hand in hand, and see no reason why they have to be necessarily seperate.

 

[Goober Mcfly]

Now that I'm not in any position of authority here, I can finally say that personally, I think anyone who participates in kinky shit like pain, shit, piss, torture, etc. is fucked in the head.

</my opinion>
</liberating>

 

[auto doctor]

Now that I'm not in any position of authority here, I can finally say that personally, I think anyone who participates in kinky shit like pain, shit, piss, torture, etc. is fucked in the head.

</my opinion>
</liberating>

Yawn....Burp....scratched my big fellows...Yawn

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Personally, I think that sex and domination can go hand in hand, and see no reason why they have to be necessarily seperate.

Ah, the eternal question - is Pro Domination prostitution, and can prostitutes be Pro Dominatrixes?

Most of the savvy Pro Dommes I know consider themselves to be 'sexworkers', even though what they provide isn't the full service contact of an SP. For reasons of their own - legal, personal comfort level, FemmeDom beliefs, perceptions of ethical boundaries within BDSM - the majority of women who call themselves Professional Dominas do not offer full service. You should never book a session with one them expecting to receive it, either, as you're likely going to leave disappointed.

I worked as a Pro Domina exclusively for quite some time, and while I did so I didn't offer 'full service'. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I wanted the liberty to combine both within my sessions, so I segued into my current occupation, which I termed 'fetish escort' (It might be common now, but it was pretty unheard of a few years ago). I think it is possible to combine safe, skilled BDSM play and full service, but this is a controversial opinion, and has gotten me into more arguments than I can count. I've been ostracized by Dominas I had considered to be friends, kicked off of discussion boards, and told that I'm a 'traitor' to my craft, simply for offering both.

What I object to is the preconceived notion that any woman who dares to offer both FS and BDSM must automatically be a crappy Domina - a 'hooker with a whip', in 'serious' BDSM parlance. I've seen some scarily ill equipped 'true' Dominas, and have the pleasure of knowing some incredibly skilled fetish SPs. Deciding to put out doesn't automatically mean you lose all of your skill, and refusing to do so doesn't mean you acquire any new ones, either.

So, I guess you can have it all - you just need to know where to look.

BTW, I know I always push this, but really the best BDSM professional resource that I know of is Jacqueline Banks' 'Silver Birch BDSM Directory'. You can find it at:

http://silverbirchbdsm.com/

Morgan

ps: Goober? STFU before I come over there and put your nuts in a vise - and not in a good way, either. Uptight asshat.

 

[Marbles]

so Morgan ... the reason i probably haven't approached you in the past is that i thought your sessions all involved BDSM ... that stuff, while intriguing, scares me. how does your sessions differ? from your pics, i think i'd be interested in a PSE experience.

 

[Morgan Ellis]

the reason i probably haven't approached you in the past is that i thought your sessions all involved BDSM

Yeah, I get that a lot. I have to stop threatening to castrate people.

... that stuff, while intriguing, scares me. how does your sessions differ?

I'm a dominant female - but that can be a good thing in erotic encounters, can't it? If you want a passive, lay there, 'tell me what to do' type, I'm not for you. If you want a woman who'll toss you on the bed (and the couch, and the floor, and the kitchen table), tell you what she wants and how she wants, and who'll just generally take charge, we'll get along fine.

Well, I do still have a preference for tying men up - but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to hurt you. And I almost always untie you eventually.

Morgan

 

[Diode]

Excuse Me!

Morgan, is there a GOOD way to put my balls in a Vice?!!!!
Holy SH** that turns my knees to rubber.
Let's never speak of it again!

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Let's never speak of it again!

If I ball gag you first, speaking won't be an option.

Oh, right. That's why everyone assumes I just offer BDSM.

I actually meant to say ::

'tee hee, I would never do that. I wuv balls, really I do. I'm a harmless wittle SP and don't do any of that kinky stuff Goober was talking about. That stuff is freaky. Did I mention I love unicorns and the color pink?'

Ouch. Just trying to type like that made my brain hurt.

 

[Goober Mcfly]

Freak.

 

[Morgan Ellis]

Freak.

I love it when you flirt with me. C'mere and lick my strap on, bitch.

 

[Dash]

Well, I do still have a preference for tying men up - but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to hurt you. And I almost always untie you eventually.

Morgan

Okay - who ever didn't read her post word-for-word closely enough - you'll notice the loophole in her statement... For the record, if you'll look at it a second time, she didn't say she always unties you eventually...She said, word for word, that she ALMOST always unties you eventually.

sneaky...

 

[Morgan Ellis]

she ALMOST always unties you eventually.

Look, I already apologized about the guy I left locked in the closet for three weeks. I was distracted, it was summer, and it just plain slipped my mind.

Some of you guys just won't let bygones be bygones.

Morgan

ps: Paige, you have no idea how accurate you are! I pity the person I run into first... I have a lot of pent up 'energy' at the moment. Say - what are you doing later on, my little subbie princess? Want to play Interrogator and Captive? I'll even wear a uniform.

 

[Diode]

I know it's cute and all...BUT

In grade 6, school yard fight..I got NAILED in the scrotum..like You would not belive.
Black, Balls for week, blood in the Urine...absolute PAIN!!!!
Almost thought it would be Impossible to have kids!
However, things are ok...But JEEZ, not funny at all!
Again I wonder, Why Anyone would enjoy rough play with their scrotum...
OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCHHH!

 

[LeatherDoll]

Well, I thought I might jump in here, but, as usual ...

Morgan, my dear has already done a fine job of explaining everything.

There is no question that Pro BDSM is absolutely sex work. We get off on the stuff.

Your understanding of the situation is bang on BTW SimsVic.

It is a big and complex world, and rough sex and sex with play are perfectly wonderful ways of going about things.

Truth is, it is ALL sex. We are simply sensual beings, no more, no less.

For myself, there is a charge that comes from expanding the ways in which we conceive our sexuality beyond the obvious.

There is always room for release, it is just not going to be realized through traditional means. Once you get inside your body for the sensational exploration that BSDM offers and you involve yourself in the energy exchange and transfer that comes not just from the corporal/tactile activity but from the trust and intimacy required to give in to the ride you won't need to ask "is it sex?" anymore.

My orgasm comes from giving you an orgasm through sensation and energy exchange. Its about giving. Its about will. Its about exploration. Its a lot of damn work. Intense connection. Suspension of disbelief.

And I really wish that those who know nothing of it would stop imposing their prejudgement of what is happening into the scenario. Why not ask people what they are doing rather than just labelling what you think you are seeing?

I do not know even one person who is into "shit like pain, shit, piss, torture" in BDSM. Just think about it, if it didn't feel good do you really think people would be lining up to do it again? Why not stand at the entrance to the roller coaster and scoff up the exact same questions?

For me, it is about offering something you can't just get anywhere. It is about facilitating something new and challenging your predetermined conceptions of what is possible and what you think you know about yourself and what you like and want and need. It is about expanding boundaries and potentialities.

You come to me when you want something different. When you want to learn more.

Like a pc versus a mac.

Clear as mud.

 

[La Contessa]

I agree with everything Leatherdoll and Morgan have said, but would like to add one thing.

When a ProDomme sets up a dungeon to practice her craft, she invests a tremendous amount of money into equipment and the 'space'. And as the Bawdy House laws have so many 'grey' areas attached to it about what is actually considered 'sex', most of us will draw the line as to how far we will take the scene/play.

If a ProDomme gets arrested, everything she owns goes too. An escort has the 'personal' risk, but doesn't have the financial investment in equipment to lose as well.

Some of us don't mind taking our 'fight' to the Supreme Court, but most of us would just as soon stay under the radar of LE. Escorts can vary the location of their incall space to avoid being 'noticed'. It's a little harder for a ProDomme to strap a St. Andrew's Cross to her back and move into new digs every couple of weeks.

La Contessa

 

[bound&gagged]

^^

I also agree with Morgan and Leatherdoll. But you make a great point La Contessa, a whipping horse is one thing (since they come apart) and since we just moved I had a helluva time with my St. Andrew's Cross lol

and for the record of the first post, we don't have full service, but I agree there is nothing wrong with it.

 

[WestCoaster]

The main reason I have tended to avoid pro dommes is because of the non-sexual nature of it. Whip me, beat me, but I want to play with your clit while you do it and make sure you cum, then I want to as well.

 

[verycurious]

It kind of begs the question doesn't it (begging seems especially appropriate in this thread) who are best fs fetish providers out there?

 

[verycurious]

I've had one vote for Morgan - any others?