When I was taking a dump the other day man did it just explode out. Not explosive but we are talking colon emptying class, it was a flush three times and I felt at least 5 pounds lighter. I also had to double wipe. And no I didn’t turn around to inspect it, I did that the last time and decided I needed to change my diet. I said fcuk that, I’m going to be ones of those PETA snowflakes hate to the core.
But I digress, I guess Mother Nature felt some imbalance and wanted to make sure when the big rock hit and I met my maker my pants would not be soiled. Of course she didn’t think I might be just pulverized, but my dust would contain sh!t essence so she really was looking out for my dignity.
Mystery solved I can go back to not caring about something I absolutely have zero ability to control and don’t give a crap about.
Mental note throw away that ratty pair of underwear.