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Are dating apps designed to fail?

IM469

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2012
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Think about it.

Each successful match they lose two paying customers.

Not much of a business plan.
Statistics puts dating apps at ~ 5-10% successful making significant matches. You have the wrong business model. Think more like a casino. The losers radically out number the winners. And finding love is at least as popular as getting rich. You have a growing market as more people enter the dating scene.
 
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Big Rig

Well-known member
May 6, 2009
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Statistics puts dating apps at ~ 5-10% successful making significant matches.
5% find a mate. Who says?

The question is how long does it take? How much money did it cost? How many sites did they use?

Best business models keeps customers interested while they fail.

This is a different business model that would be a disaster anywhere else.

I fully suspect they have zero interest in giving any service by matching people, or that they have any ethics whatsoever.

Very small percentage of 5% succeed by chance after months and a lot of money.

Casino sounds like an accurate description. The stack the odds against you by design.

Curious if anyone has used it, would like to hear from them.

Do they have introductory rates, then offer premium service?

That would mean they want you to fail so you buy their premium plan, does it not?
 

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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Before dating apps there was Website / Internet dating sites.
It worked for a chunky woman. Her coworker ( a him we talked ) was trying to set me up with her. I would guess for 3 years in the app when I knew her but she was on there much longer. Then I came into the picture, She found her mate. Only because she was trying to prove me wrong. The problem wasn't the men she was dating ( yes they had many fault s like they do now ) the problem was her.

After he passed my wisdom to her she ended up pregnant then married. So I say it only happens when a person gets a can of whoop ass. Time could be 20 - 10 - 5 - 1 years long in the dating app.
So dating app does not try to match people nor people try to match because of FUN / shame?
 

tier3

Dabbler
Aug 11, 2022
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I had a similar thought about weather apps. Lately there are so many flashing warnings and cautions for normal amounts of snow or cold. I realized this boils down to ad revenue and the more screentime they can get from users the more $ they can get from ads.

The case is likely similar with dating apps. Except instead of ads, they sell premium or bonus profile features for your account. The more unsuccessful users they have the more likely they'll pay for enhanced service.

So it's not a stretch to say that the bean counters want you to fail more to spend more time on their apps.

Dating is already messy so there might not need to be much of a tilt though.
 
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MatureMan

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Oct 5, 2024
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The problem with dating apps is that there are endless option keeps you always looking and not settling. One funny thing that happened to me was, I did meet a beautiful girl that I was really interested and we started casually seeing each other. At the same time, I was still in the app seeing who might message me or respond to my “positive swipes”. Sure enough , I started chatting with a new girl, who later told her friend that she met someone on line (me). That friend was the original girl I was casually dating. Needless to say that girl was not happy with me continuing with the app. Funny thing is that girl also admitted her online profile was still active and she was getting messages from other guys. Luckily, we were both mature enough to acknowledge that this is the nature of modern dating. We continued to casually date as our both our martial situations are not fully resolved.
 

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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The problem with dating apps is that there are endless option keeps you always looking and not settling. One funny thing that happened to me was, I did meet a beautiful girl that I we were both mature enough to acknowledge that this is the nature of modern dating. We continued to casually date as our both our martial situations are not fully resolved.
So both mature people are at fault and admitted to themselves, which is rare. But you on one hand wasn't looking for something better but was curious to what else was there. She forgot to suspend or remove but in the back of her mind she was thinking something better may come along.

Now you say ... that this is the nature of modern dating. No really dude this is a cop out excuse. It may be to shallow people, vindictive and nut jobs but not to serious mature people who want to be married. Don't be swayed by the fad or crazy wave. Next time you know better. Yes many option is an addiction or aphrodisiac.

I am not conspiracy theorist but I blame on NO Discipline by the user.

BTW what happen between you and that girl.?

251228A
 

jeff2

Well-known member
Sep 11, 2004
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I remember decades ago there was a matching service called Together. It said right in the contract that there is a shortage of women in my age group. I believe this is because men tend to date women around two years younger and I was born at the end of the baby boom. On top of that, the infant mortality rate for boys(boys are weaker at birth) started falling with modern hospitals.

Let's look at more current demographics:


AI Overview



Toronto Population 2025 - Key Insights and Growth Trends ...
In Toronto, younger age groups generally have slightly more males than females, with ratios above 100 males per 100 females (e.g., 0-19, 20-24 age brackets), but this shifts to more females in older groups, resulting in more females overall (around 52%) in the city's total population, meaning the ratio favors women city-wide, but men dominate the younger segments, say reports from 2021 Census data.
 
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xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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@jeff2 your graph is to small to read or see clearly but I believe you.

Do you know why there are less men above 25 - 30 years old?

There is a reason but not allowed to mention it here.
And also men do hard work which drains them out, so maybe that is why they don't participate in dating/marriage.
 

jeff2

Well-known member
Sep 11, 2004
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@jeff2 your graph is to small to read or see clearly but I believe you.

Do you know why there are less men above 25 - 30 years old?

There is a reason but not allowed to mention it here.
And also men do hard work which drains them out, so maybe that is why they don't participate in dating/marriage.
Men take more risks and experience higher suicide rates. That is why they do not last as long.
But way back, with the infant mortality rate and of course the wars, there was always a shortage of men.
 
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WetSeeker

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Jun 23, 2020
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Has been a waste of time the last two years, women want the dopamine hit or just a free meal.
From a stock investing perspective, the big names have seen a loss of paid subscriptions across the board, especially with Gen Z.

Any man or women over 50 looking to date likely comes with a Samsonite of personal baggage; whether exes, financial, legal battles or emotional damage.
The few who actually take good care of their health is a very small subset. 50/50/50 rule applies. I'd say 50% of women over age 50 are 50 lbs overweight.
2026 I will use more organic approaches, maybe social clubs, meet-ups, definitely not dating APPS.
 
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BigMz

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Aug 11, 2025
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I tried everything and found that you're most likely to get a "match" by doing volunteer stuff or at actual work than those things. Speed dating is like 95% guys right now and is quite sad to watch (if you don't believe me check out one of the 'happy hour events' when they're hosting, oftentimes it's just 2-3 women with a couple of trannies and literally 30 guys trying their best).

The actual apps themselves are purely made to capitalize on desperation and laziness like everything else out there. I got multiple 1 year subscriptions as a gift from one of my buddies to the likes of tinder and the other ones. 80% of it is bots shilling onlyfans, out of the remaining 20% 19.9% are women looking for a meal ticket, and there's maybe 0.1% actual people looking for a genuine connection. The developers know this, as they don't really care if it fails (oftentimes developers will make multiple apps and just continue where the left off should one fail, hence why plenty of fish and bumble are owned by the same company).

TLDR: not worth the time to do those things, if you want a genuinely good woman check out the SPCA or work at a hospital 1 day a week.
 

Trevor Wong

Well-known member
Apr 8, 2025
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Has been a waste of time the last two years, women want the dopamine hit or just a free meal.
From a stock investing perspective, the big names have seen a loss of paid subscriptions across the board, especially with Gen Z.

Any man or women over 50 looking to date likely comes with a Samsonite of personal baggage; whether exes, financial, legal battles or emotional damage.
The few who actually take good care of their health is a very small subset. 50/50/50 rule applies. I'd say 50% of women over age 50 are 50 lbs overweight.
2026 I will use more organic approaches, maybe social clubs, meet-ups, definitely not dating APPS.
Also, any decent looking women on these dating apps, get about 100 guys messaging them. Therefore, unless you are a good looking guy with an excellent job, then you are screwed, no pun intended.
 
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Trevor Wong

Well-known member
Apr 8, 2025
348
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I tried everything and found that you're most likely to get a "match" by doing volunteer stuff or at actual work than those things. Speed dating is like 95% guys right now and is quite sad to watch (if you don't believe me check out one of the 'happy hour events' when they're hosting, oftentimes it's just 2-3 women with a couple of trannies and literally 30 guys trying their best).

The actual apps themselves are purely made to capitalize on desperation and laziness like everything else out there. I got multiple 1 year subscriptions as a gift from one of my buddies to the likes of tinder and the other ones. 80% of it is bots shilling onlyfans, out of the remaining 20% 19.9% are women looking for a meal ticket, and there's maybe 0.1% actual people looking for a genuine connection. The developers know this, as they don't really care if it fails (oftentimes developers will make multiple apps and just continue where the left off should one fail, hence why plenty of fish and bumble are owned by the same company).

TLDR: not worth the time to do those things, if you want a genuinely good woman check out the SPCA or work at a hospital 1 day a week.
What happens if you don't like pets and are scared to go to hospitals? Just kidding. I get your point---LOL
 

MatureMan

Member
Oct 5, 2024
55
87
18
So both mature people are at fault and admitted to themselves, which is rare. But you on one hand wasn't looking for something better but was curious to what else was there. She forgot to suspend or remove but in the back of her mind she was thinking something better may come along.

Now you say ... that this is the nature of modern dating. No really dude this is a cop out excuse. It may be to shallow people, vindictive and nut jobs but not to serious mature people who want to be married. Don't be swayed by the fad or crazy wave. Next time you know better. Yes many option is an addiction or aphrodisiac.

I am not conspiracy theorist but I blame on NO Discipline by the user.

BTW what happen between you and that girl.?

251228A
Your message seems pretty judgmental , that’s Ok. LOL. Two things,
1) not sure what your experience is with dating apps but they essentially function as all other social media. They need your engagement and they feed you dopamine to get it. The desirability of your profile is double edge sword. Yes, you get likes and swipes and messages of interest but when you finally meet someone you like , you hedge that potential relationship because you don’t know if it will work out. So you keep the profile active and continue to field messages and likes from other women. Getting likes and interest is the dopamine. But you rationalize is as a hedge. This is the marriage between the tech , being single and human psychology and brain function. It takes a lot of discipline to manage that in healthy way.
2) maturity is being able to recognize the multi level challenges and obstacles in meeting people when you’re in a new chapter of life. Some things are easier, some are more difficult. The girl from my earlier message is a mom of young kids and stuck in her own marital complexity. She’s not exactly blazing the town like a 25 year old. So yes, we maturely excused some extra activity on the app becuase we understand the nature of meeting people on line and the prospects of finding someone good and giving that potential relationship a chance to breathe.
 
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xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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I didn't watch the whole thing, maybe later but be careful out there.

 
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