Anybody like my poem?

[Dark Chimera]

Winters' Edge


The wet black bough is forced to glisten

By the cold November drizzle

As a honking "V" formation flees the starkness of winters' edge.

The diminishing sun paints a cold, gray orange

Throughout the heavy dankness

That seems to celebrate the harmony found

Within the new born stillness

And the haunting desires of sleep.



The waters' frozen song denotes the birth

Of a beautiful loss.

 

[crampy]

No..

 

[Dark Chimera]

No..

Holy cow crampy. You voted before I had it posted. Thx anyways

 

[Bale]

The word "dankness" should never be used in a poem, unless it's a joke poem.
(thumbs down)

 

[snowleopard]

The word "dankness" should never be used in a poem, unless it's a joke poem.
(thumbs down)

lol ... there's an editor in every crowd

Not bad DC ... but don't quit your day job just yet

 

[Cycleguy007]

Maybe I'm just not in the mood...

 

[RayFinkel]

Winters' Edge


The wet black bough is forced to glisten

By the cold November drizzle

As a honking "V" formation flees the starkness of winters' edge.

The diminishing sun paints a cold, gray orange

Throughout the heavy dankness

That seems to celebrate the harmony found

Within the new born stillness

And the haunting desires of sleep.



The waters' frozen song denotes the birth

Of a beautiful loss.

 

[Dark Chimera]

Votes are coming in and it is not looking good

Oh well, at least I am doing something different


How about this one ...



There once was a girl from Nantucket

Whose hole was as big as a bucket

And said with a grin

As she shoved her fist in

Something, something, something ... aw, fuck it


I cant even write a limerick

 

[Dark Chimera]

The word "dankness" should never be used in a poem, unless it's a joke poem.
(thumbs down)

Never knew that


Thx a big bunch Bale

 

[Cycleguy007]

NEEDS MORE BOOBS!

 

[snowleopard]

There ya go ray ... more boobs

... needs more boobs

Winters' Edge


The wet black bough is forced to glisten

By the cold November drizzle

As a honking "V" formation flees the starkness of winters' edge.

The diminishing sun paints a cold, gray orange

Throughout the heavy dankness

That seems to celebrate the harmony found

Within the new born stillness

And the haunting desires of sleep.



The waters' frozen song denotes the birth

Of beautiful boobs

 

[Gyaos]

Votes are coming in and it is not looking good

Because it's not good. Show your tits with the poem.

Gyaos Baltar
____________________________

 

[Dark Chimera]

Winters' Boobs


The wet black boob is forced to boob

By the cold November boob

As a honking boob flees the boobness of winters' boob

The diminishing boob paints a cold, gray boob

Throughout the heavy boobness

That seems to celebrate the boobs found

Within the new boob stillness

And the haunting boobs of sleep.



The waters' frozen boobs denotes the birth

Of beautiful boobs






How's that?

 

[Gyaos]

いい子いい子 (Good girl, Good girl).

Gyaos.

 

[snowleopard]

Winters' Boobs


The wet black boob is forced to boob

By the cold November boob

As a honking boob flees the boobness of winters' boob

The diminishing boob paints a cold, gray boob

Throughout the heavy boobness

That seems to celebrate the boobs found

Within the new boob stillness

And the haunting boobs of sleep.



The waters' frozen boobs denotes the birth

Of beautiful boobs






How's that?

nah ... too many boobs ... needs some pussy IMHO

 

[RayFinkel]

Because it's not good. Show your tits with the poem.

Is that better?

 

[Dark Chimera]

WTF?



Appreciate any response but I have to wonder if they have much merit.

This is a attempt at a real poem and I have gotten humor back but no interpretation that would indicate any serious reading of the poem

Or maybe the poem is undeserving of any serious interpretation, I am not sure

However, it would appear that casual readers are not endeared to my efforts


so I have learned something

so thx for your responses

keep them coming


I will put my body armor back on now

 

[alphanig]

 

[Cycleguy007]

Who is this babe? She reminds me of someone.

Marzia Prince...

http://johnnycrosslin.com/models/recent/marziaba1f/marzia.htm
http://www.marziaprince.com/index2.htm

Fitness model extraordinaire...

34 yrs old
5' 9"
130 lbs
36-25-36

 

[Dark Chimera]

Only a couple of terbs like my poem

Most think it is boring and lacks T and A .

Terbs are nothing if not honest ,oh well, I asked for it and got it



Here are some of the ideas in my poem so pay attention class .

If anyone cares to read them I would appreciate the effort (it is an effort) and honest comments.




I try to use sharp images to engage the readers' senses and express the beauty of nature ( wet black bough, cold gray orange etc)

I am trying engage the readers' intellect by vaguely representing an idea that is left for the reader to ponder.

Although the poem has a feeling of darkness, (black bough, forced to glisten, the starkness of, the freezing of ) it also expresses hope (seems to celebrate, harmony found, beautiful loss).


I try to present the dreariness of a winters' day in nature yet show there is beauty there as well, and further suggest the supernatural may be the source of this beauty.

The last 2 words "beautiful loss" leave the reader to ponder if the loss is tragic or beautiful.

The darkness with a glimmer of light, and the lack of any obvious rhythmic pattern, is meant to be a reflection of human thought patterns as well as the ebb and flow of nature.





I will put more T and A in my next poem