Amends & regrets

[Serendipity]

Just wanted to say that I am retiring from hobbying for good. It has changed me forever and I need to find the old me again. Apologise to anyone I offended at anytime. Wish you all the best.

If your just starting out hobbying then all I have to say is just be carefull. I have made some horrible choices over the past few years that have lead to destroyed friendships and career paths. Time to start the rebuild.

Fuji - I sent you a pm. You deserve it.

 

[Aardvark154]

Just wanted to say that I am retiring from hobbying for good. It has changed me forever and I need to find the old me again. Apologise to anyone I offended at anytime. Wish you all the best.

If your just starting out hobbying then all I have to say is just be carefull. I have made some horrible choices over the past few years that have lead to destroyed friendships and career paths. Time to start the rebuild.

Fuji - I sent you a pm. You deserve it.

Best wishes!

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

Sorry the hobby was not good to you.

I've been in it for years and have not felt it hurt my career or friendships but everyone is different, I guess.

What type issues spilled over from your hobby to your personal and work life?

 

[wazup]

I`d be interested to know how it`s changed you. I`ve been to Thailand a couple times and fucked close to a hundred women, thought I was having the time of my life at the time, now I`m wondering if it was the lowest time of my life.

 

[K Douglas]

I'm curious as to the content sent in the pm to fuji. I'm guessing it wasn't pretty. Good luck Serendipity.

 

[james t kirk]

Why do guys feel the need to post retirement threads?

Just stop hobbying for crying out loud. You can cease using TERB and fade away, or continue to use TERB and not hobby. Nobody knows. We don't have moisture meter hooked up to the end of your dick cross linked to your wallet. We don't know, and don't care if you hobby or not. It's your call.

I don't understand how it has "ruined your life", but if you say it has, then it has. You should quit then because it's clearly out of control for you. Like all things in life - it's about moderation and you are not able to control yourself.

 

[Serendipity]

I sent Fuji an apology pm - I felt bad about some things we argued about....

Basically - hobbying for me started out as a experiment.....I wanted to see what it was like.....I liked it too much......I liked that it was right to the point, both parties knew what they were getting into and did it. Quick, easy - perfect!

At the time I was dating someone wonderfull but she did not rank sex highly on her weekly "to do list".....before I knew it I found myself spending more time with Sp's then people I cared about. Friends, family, girlfriends.etc. Chasing the high of a new girl dominated my needs and wants. Being bad felt exciting and good. It turned ugly for me when an sp offered me some party favours. Doing party favours off her bum, her chest, everywhere and anywhere on her body. She would do them from mine also. It was so hot. I loved it.

I'm sure you can guess what kind of path this addiction lead me down. Not a very good one. I recently received a "divine intervention" from the most unlikely collection of people you could imagine. It woke me up. I am as confused as ever about alot of things but I do know that I need to take responsibilty for my choices - past, present and future while making making each "moment of truth" count for something more then my selfish existence of sex, partying and empty relationships.

Wazup - to answer your question I can expand on the obvious changes I already mentioned. I find it very difficult connecting to women on an emotional level. I don't respect then like I used to. For the past 10 years they have only been sexual objects to me. I fear that I will never be able to find "love" again because of the damage I have done to myself. I'm hoping that I can be strong enough to myself a chance to get healthy and maybe succeed.

James T Kirk - I am only choosing to share this with the board in the hopes that it helps someone just getting into hobbying or even someone else that may be living a similar lifestyle not make the same mistake I have.

 

[T.O.tourist]

Thank you for explaining.
Good luck to you in the future.

 

[TeasePlease]

Serendipity - I know exactly what you mean.

I don't believe that the damage is permanent. All it takes is one wonderful lady and you'll never doubt again.

Best wishes, brother.

 

[fuji]

Serendipity this is the internet, I have a thick skin, no harm done. I actually had to go search to find out what you were apologizing for, but if it helps you feel better: apology accepted.

I think if you're going to purchase sex, cheat, pick up women, etc., you have to be comfortable with the fact that we interact with people on multiple levels simultaneously. Women to me are sex objects too and I treat them that way often, but at the same time I can interact with her as a collegue, friend, partner, etc.

I can flip between these modes fluidly, if you can't I guess that is an issue for you to work on even with a wife.

The drugs are a huge problem and if sp's are part of your drug habit I agree with changing things.

Good luck!

 

[Serendipity]

Thank you Fuji. I appreciate your reply more than you will ever know.

I received a pm from someone that I recently sent a private pm too regarding my "Charlie Sheen" like behaviour. She suggested some helpfull programs that I will look into. The fact that she actually took the time to respond and suggest some programs to help brought a few tears to my eyes. Thank you so much Miss Cupid.

I do like the interaction on this board in the lounge so I will probably pop in from time to time. But until I can get back to a more normal way of life I realize I should stay away from seeing sp's for now. It's one of the triggers that leads me to "party" to hard.

 

[ready2rock]

Good luck in the future, man. Only a few things in life are permanent; I'm sure you'll have a chance to right those that you've wronged in your wake

Remember, don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Godspeed.

R2R

 

[massman]

Serendipity,

Thanks for your post, and your honesty. You give us all something to think about. Many of us who hobby are probably only a few inches away from becoming addicted. When significant subtances get in the mix it is too easy to lose control. Your story while towards the extreme end of what can happen, is a sobering one, and a reminder not to let these artificial temporary pleasures take over from real ones.

Im glad you got the advice you needed at the right time, before a disaster happened. Good luck to you, and my advice would be to stay away from TERB all together. Take care.