Am I Wasting My Time?

[Johnny_TryHard]

I've always been interested in visiting with a lady and I've been researching the possibilities. Looking through sites like this, ads on LL and the info posted on OIC. I don't know if OIC info is legit or just another attempt at collective marketing but I see many of the ads are broken down into categories of who the Ladies will see. Many of the lists show the same faces and they ALL say they deal with Couple, Ladies, fetish... About the only difference is some only work outcall and some prefer incall. Shit, it seems everyone claims to work with the disabled and that's what worries me. You see, I'm one of those guys who has problems getting it up. I'm used to it so please don't go off (no pun intended) telling me about pills, lasers, exercises.... I'm looking for a lady I can spend some time with who won't care if I can't "do the deed" but who wants make sure I enjoy myself but I'm concerned they mostly claim to deal with disabled. It's not like I'm missing a limb or in a chair but I don't want to be disappointed by someone looking to make a few bucks the easy way. A date lite attitude from her.

Secondly, how would I go about discussing things with her to lets her know what I like and how I'd like things to play out? Most "ads" talk about how they don't entertain chat unless you pay. Does that mean that I need to pay twice? One just to set up a appointment and then pay for the date? I'm not looking to get off remotely for free but I'd like the chance to set up the visit and maximize the experience for both of us. A big part of it for me is helping my partner enjoy herself as much as possible too. Any advice and guidance from anyone is appreciated. I just want to make sure I'm not wasting my time and money looking for a unicorn. lol

 

[Willie Layer]

Most ladies in OIC are professional enough to field short, concise general inquiries to break the ice. As long as you’re sincere and don’t come across as wordy, time wasting etc and explain your limitations and what you’re looking fork you should be good.

Lately I’ve seen some disgusting, entitled behaviour by SW on social media who seems to think everyone should be kissing their asses all the time. Those are the ones who if you get attitude from from the get go, they’re doing you the favour of helping to screen themselves out of consideration.

 

[Johnny_TryHard]

Speaking of only ma:

I’ve had some issues getting it up in session due to nerves and a lack of chemistry.
Kissing in the shower always gets me about 80% of the way. Then it might die off later if the conversation is too casual, which I gladly participate in anyways. Or if money comes up, so I get that out of the way first or I don’t ask for extras. And of course, if they seem to have a good time, I always have a good time. Still, I’d rather be limp then have them fake anything.

No one has ever noticeably cared and they’ve all finished me off totally/ half-limp or not.

So unfortunately you might just have to try a few to see who does it for ya.

I had an amazing time with Annie, Ronny, and Eliza at alpha club, for gfe style sessions. I’ve seen maybe, 6 girls total.

Alternatively you could try the cute 30ish women at rabbit spa. The expectations are a little more straightforwardly controlled. No kissing (mask on).
Amazing massage for a good price. And I’m not sure why but every time (3 times) I get a about a 98%er. It’s just a very relaxing experience. You can pretend it’s legit, get finished off, and not fall in love. Wham bam thank you ma’am.

lol thanks much. I hadnt really considered spas that much. For some reason i just naturally viewed independents. I assumed, perhaps wrongly, spas were more centered on message with happy ending and given my limits it would be like they're trying to strangle a wilted cucumber. I just thought gfe had more options that could fill the void, metaphorically.

 

[Johnny_TryHard]

I wouldn’t go for sex too soon. Its a lot of pressure. (And money)
The gfe thing is nice, and like I said, you can go for. Legit massage at rabbit for 70/hr (tip well as they’re kind of expecting more). And see how it goes.

There are also girls who do gfe massage at the spas and “companionship” on their own. In case you really like one after awhile.

It wasnt a matter of sex, in a conventional sence as much as i just assumed spas were, get in, lay down, maybe get off then get out. I'll read around a bit more. I didnt think there was a possability to be as "interactive" as I may need. Im just tired of nothing.

 

[gibarian]

I've always been interested in visiting with a lady and I've been researching the possibilities. Looking through sites like this, ads on LL and the info posted on OIC. I don't know if OIC info is legit or just another attempt at collective marketing but I see many of the ads are broken down into categories of who the Ladies will see. Many of the lists show the same faces and they ALL say they deal with Couple, Ladies, fetish... About the only difference is some only work outcall and some prefer incall. Shit, it seems everyone claims to work with the disabled and that's what worries me. You see, I'm one of those guys who has problems getting it up. I'm used to it so please don't go off (no pun intended) telling me about pills, lasers, exercises.... I'm looking for a lady I can spend some time with who won't care if I can't "do the deed" but who wants make sure I enjoy myself but I'm concerned they mostly claim to deal with disabled. It's not like I'm missing a limb or in a chair but I don't want to be disappointed by someone looking to make a few bucks the easy way. A date lite attitude from her.

When people note that they see disabled clients they're not talking about clients who experience ED, so you shouldn't be drawing any conclusions from seeing that information.

ED is pretty common; it's unlikely that you'll be meeting a provider who hasn't already encountered it in a multitude of expressions/severity levels. You shouldn't worry about it being an "unpleasant surprise" or anything like that, since it's a relatively normal occurrence that's to be expected in the context of their work.

Secondly, how would I go about discussing things with her to lets her know what I like and how I'd like things to play out? Most "ads" talk about how they don't entertain chat unless you pay. Does that mean that I need to pay twice? One just to set up a appointment and then pay for the date?

I would advise pre-booking in advance with someone who accepts inquiries through email. It will also help if you're willing to send a deposit (since it will reassure them that you're a serious client, and not just chatting for gratification).

In my experience email booking is more suited to discussing the kinds of things you're concerned about. Email tends to give more "space" than texting; somebody can read the email and tend to it when they're ready, whereas text conversations sort of generate more pressure to respond quickly (and with more succinct answers).

RE: "how you'd like things to play out" -- it's never a good idea to try to micromanage a session and orchestrate it down to the smallest details, so if that's your intent there's no good advice other than to warn you that you'd be playing with fire. You can absolutely make respectful and simple requests without worrying about becoming a pest, though.

Just add something to the end of your email (after you've introduced yourself and identified your desired booking date & duration) along the lines of, "I'd also like to mention that I often experience untreatable ED during intimate encounters, so I was hoping we could focus more on <whatever> and <whatever> during our time together."

A big part of it for me is helping my partner enjoy herself as much as possible too.

Tbh this is not a great outlook to head into a booking with, especially with somebody you haven't met and don't know anything about. Never forget that the person you're seeing is at work, and is trying to provide an experience for you. They're not there for personal gratification or pleasure. That doesn't mean that some SPs you meet won't enjoy themselves (or be able to convincing perform as if they do) but obsessively fixating on their pleasure can be a quick route to ruining your chemistry.

You're actually in a better position to empathize with that than many others might be. Can you imagine if someone fixated on you getting fully erect as a signification of you enjoying yourself, and kept commenting on it, and trying to make it happen (when your internal monologue is repeatedly telling you "I know for a fact this isn't going to happen and I wish you would stop drawing attention to it"). It would probably make you uncomfortable, ruin the mood, and reduce the likelihood of you getting it up, right? And it works exactly the same way in reverse. So be careful about aggressively pressuring the person you're with to feel pleasure (since you have no way of knowing if it's even possible in the context of the situation).

Realistically, I think the best things you can do to reliably provide pleasure-adjacent sensations to a provider are almost all conduct-related: book and pay painlessly, get squeaky clean before you get physical, and be communicative and deliberate about asking for consent for anything you want to do with them.

 

[Johnny_TryHard]

When people note that they see disabled clients they're not talking about clients who experience ED, so you shouldn't be drawing any conclusions from seeing that information.

ED is pretty common; it's unlikely that you'll be meeting a provider who hasn't already encountered it in a multitude of expressions/severity levels. You shouldn't worry about it being an "unpleasant surprise" or anything like that, since it's a relatively normal occurrence that's to be expected in the context of their work.


I would advise pre-booking in advance with someone who accepts inquiries through email. It will also help if you're willing to send a deposit (since it will reassure them that you're a serious client, and not just chatting for gratification).

In my experience email booking is more suited to discussing the kinds of things you're concerned about. Email tends to give more "space" than texting; somebody can read the email and tend to it when they're ready, whereas text conversations sort of generate more pressure to respond quickly (and with more succinct answers).

RE: "how you'd like things to play out" -- it's never a good idea to try to micromanage a session and orchestrate it down to the smallest details, so if that's your intent there's no good advice other than to warn you that you'd be playing with fire. You can absolutely make respectful and simple requests without worrying about becoming a pest, though.

Just add something to the end of your email (after you've introduced yourself and identified your desired booking date & duration) along the lines of, "I'd also like to mention that I often experience untreatable ED during intimate encounters, so I was hoping we could focus more on <whatever> and <whatever> during our time together."


Tbh this is not a great outlook to head into a booking with, especially with somebody you haven't met and don't know anything about. Never forget that the person you're seeing is at work, and is trying to provide an experience for you. They're not there for personal gratification or pleasure. That doesn't mean that some SPs you meet won't enjoy themselves (or be able to convincing perform as if they do) but obsessively fixating on their pleasure can be a quick route to ruining your chemistry.

You're actually in a better position to empathize with that than many others might be. Can you imagine if someone fixated on you getting fully erect as a signification of you enjoying yourself, and kept commenting on it, and trying to make it happen (when your internal monologue is repeatedly telling you "I know for a fact this isn't going to happen and I wish you would stop drawing attention to it"). It would probably make you uncomfortable, ruin the mood, and reduce the likelihood of you getting it up, right? And it works exactly the same way in reverse. So be careful about aggressively pressuring the person you're with to feel pleasure (since you have no way of knowing if it's even possible in the context of the situation).

Realistically, I think the best things you can do to reliably provide pleasure-adjacent sensations to a provider are almost all conduct-related: book and pay painlessly, get squeaky clean before you get physical, and be communicative and deliberate about asking for consent for anything you want to do with them.

Oh wow, excellent answer. Thank you so much.

Just a couple point to clear up MY comments earlier:.

"I would advise pre-booking" Agreed. Never a question in my mind.

By my saying " how I'd like things to play out," I didnt mean to imply I'd micro manage. I just mean to set

 

[Hihoonthelilo]

I think everyone's idea of fun is different. I know mine is. I have never encountered a SW who has judged me on my idea of fun.

If we agree to have the same fun or not, is a different question altogether. Sometimes I discuss my ideas in the text conversation, and most times the ladies are able to indicate a yes or a no and then you take the plunge and find out. Other times the conversation gets too long and either party looses interest (not happened more than twice this far to me).

In the end, what you discuss before hand and what the session will turn out to be, are not entirely on point.

I would encourage you to reach out to the well recommended people on this board and most likely you will turn out happy.