Am I a bad guy for this.........

[thecoolguyms72]

I met this chick on the internet, we chatted for a bit, then eventually chatted a bit on the phone, this was over about a week's time. She called me last night and said that she wanted to come over. This was at about 10pm, so it wasn't like she was coming over for dinner, it was pretty obvious what she was coming over for. I said yes with much trepidation because I hadn't seen a picture of her, but had gotten a good description, but had this feeling she was a Fatty Patty. When she said she wanted to come over, I figured she wasn't, because it would be obvious when she got here that she had lied.

Well, it was obvious alright. She wasn't huge, just not what she described herself to be. Now, that's not the real problem, the problem was, I knew that if I did anything, that she would get attached and want to move the relationship along. Well, we lay down and got comfortable, but when I'd cross a line she'd push back. Eventually it was just to damn late so I rolled over and went to sleep. I'm not sure if she slept or not, didn't really care. But in the morning, I had a shower then sat down on the bed naked, and she started to get a little frisky, but as usual she only went so far. Finally I just said that she had better give me a BJ or she should just go home. She gave me the BJ, not a very good one, but it was still a BJ nonetheless, I dropped my load, then cleaned up again. She got changed shortly after and left. Now, I'm not really looking to hook up with her again, she isn't terribly attractive, and is looking for a relationship, which I am not. I know she is going to want to see me again, so I am going to tell her that I'm not interested.

The question I want to know is, does this make me a bad guy for asking for the BJ, then now I'm going to tell her I don't want anything to do with her?

Eager to hear your honest opinions.

Coolguy.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

If you knew that by doing "something" the relationship would move to another level, why did you do it if you didn't want it to progress? This person sounds like the type that would cling to someone that would throw affection at her. Seeing that, you should have backed down right away.

Because you thought like many guys you now have to face the consequences of your actions. You got your BJ and now you have to get rid of her. You got what you wanted, albiet not the way you wanted.

If both parties know what the encounter is about sex only then fine, do the deed and have fun. Just don't lead the other person along for your own gain unless you are prepared for what is to come. As to whether your a Bad Guy for asking for the BJ, you will have to answer that yourserlf. I have a feeling that you may already know the answer to that question. I don't think your a bad guy just selfish.

 

[thecoolguyms72]

Thanks for those replies, I guess I should have filled in a few blanks, I did tell her I was not interested in a relationship, that I was interested in hooking up, primarily for sex. The only problem is, after that, I did say it was all about having some fun, just hanging out. I guess I said that to soften the blow of the "just sex" part. My bad.

Thanks for the honesty, but you don't have to say things like, "As to whether your a Bad Guy for asking for the BJ, you will have to answer that yourserlf. I have a feeling that you may already know the answer to that question." I'm a big boy, tell me what you think. More like your statement of, "I don't think your a bad guy just selfish." That's honesty. Of course, it might have been nicer or easier to take if you had said I was a good guy and deserved a good hummer. LOL. But I didn't ask for you to sugar coat it.

 

[Remo]

Yes. You are evil. More than Saddam and Kim Jong Il combined. You are a bad, bad man. LOL.

 

[twobigo]

you were horny, you got a bj..covered i hope..now you seem to feel a little guilty , no? that,s a good trait that you are experiencing.. so..."bad boy" yes bad guy no.

 

[thecoolguyms72]

Remo, high praise indeed. I hope the Bush I get is friendlier than the one Saddam and Kim Jong Il have been dealing with!

twobigo, not covered, unfortunately, and it contained a lot of hand, not that that fixes it. And I'm not feeling guilty. In fact, if anyone knows of how I should go about nipping this in the bud, I'd be interested in hearing about it.

 

[Remo]

Im just ribbing you coolguyms.

 

[thecoolguyms72]

Oh, I know, Remo, I enjoy a good ribbing once in a while.

 

[thecoolguyms72]

That was friendly Jordan! I have seen you, and thought you were sweet. I doubt I satisfied you, so I don't think I'm a stud, but I'm not the one getting paid to satisfy. I assume she's interested because she wanted to get together again tonight, and this weekend and said that she'd call me. Unless she's just stringing me along, which doesn't make sense. I doubt she'll stalk anyone, she's not like that, but who knows?

As for pathetic, you're right, if I continued to see her, that would make me pathetic, which is why I don't want to see her, I'm not pathetic.

My bad for leaving some of those details out so you could make an informed post. I guess I don't understand your comments about me being "an arrogant jerk!" I kind of wonder why you display misplaced anger towards me. I have no ill feelings toward you, and can only assume you were displaying honest feelings toward my post, though, and I wish you the best.

As I said, it's been about 3 or 4 years since I had seen you, and I thought you were terrific and very sweet, very attractive and had great skills at pleasing me. And for that I am thankful.

Coolguy.

 

[Goober Mcfly]

The way I see it is you got a BJ. How can that be bad?

 

[hedway]

Why don't you get together with her one more time, and give her a bj as full repayment. Just make it bad though, so that she won't want to see you anymore because you're so crappy at it.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Why don't you get together with her one more time, and give her a bj as full repayment.

Uh.......She has a dick?

Oh shit, this better not be another she-male thread starting up again!

 

[DonBusch]

And I'm not feeling guilty. In fact, if anyone knows of how I should go about nipping this in the bud, I'd be interested in hearing about it.

err, castration??

Personally, I think that you kinda led her on and might have taken advantage of a weak-minded and probably insecure woman. But, if you don't think that you did anything wrong and you're not feeling any kind of guilt whatsoever, then why should you care about my opinion? After all, only the woman and you have first hand knowledge of what really happened.

 

[Kitty]

Hi
Just tell her the truth. It will save both of you guys alot of trouble.
As a woman If I met a guy that did not find me attractive and some sex stuff happened I would want him to tell me straight up before any feelings developed.

 

[fflowley]

Give me a break

Let's throw a little LESS guilt here guys. Remember, she called up at 10 pm and wanted to come over. Obviously, that's not the prelude to a big relationshsip. I would have been totally perplexed once she got there and DIDN'T want you to f*** her. What exactly then was the point?


Flooey!

 

[papasmerf]

Seems simple to me
Respect limits

If you dont like the ride, get out of the car.

 

[Sasha Jones]

The only problem is, after that, I did say it was all about having some fun, just hanging out.

Ha, that is funny. That is what I say to guys when I just wanna get laid!

Don't worry about it. Girls are not stupid and if she really did think something would come (no pun intended) of giving you a BJ she will soon wise up. It is not like you forced her to do it.

 

[thecoolguyms72]

Hey, thanks to all for your replies, serious or not. Like I said, I can take a little good natured fun at my expense.

Jordan: She is 28, I'm 31.

Blue: After the BJ, and she wanted to lay and cuddle, you have no idea how fast I made those calculations. The funniest part of that is, I was going to call an SP, but the one I did want to see was not available, so I just relaxed at home, and then I got that call.

Hey, Jordan, are you still working independent in Windsor? I don't hear about you at all anymore. Not sure if you're still around. Oh, and I am a bit of an arrogant jerk, but a loveable one. I wouldn't mind seeing you again, if that were okay with you.

 

[lewd]

Well this is somewhat related to your experience. I too have recently met someone but through a chat line. While there was no sex, I did get the feeling she was very interested in getting to know me better.
My biggest problem was that I felt she lied about her appearance. She told me she was perhaps 15 lbs overweight and look 10 years younger than her 45 years.
Well, she was probably 30 lbs overweight, and looked exactly like 45.
I told her straight that I didn't find any attraction and that we should no longer talk in the future. Kind of abrupt, but it's better than to drag something out.

 

[King]

Coolguy.

I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You told her you didn't want a relationship, then you asked for and got a bj. She knew what she was doing. She could have said no. She didn't. You got what you wanted, if she didn't get what she wanted, then that is her problem. Not yours.

King