advice needed: dating an asian girl

[t_dot]

i'm hoping i can pick the collective brains of my fellow terbites. i recently started courting a chinese girl. she was born here, and is very canadianized, but that said i'm noticing some differences to the other girls i've been with.

1. she seems to be jerking me around a little. breaking dates for stupid reasons etc.

2. she's only a year younger than i am, but acts 10 years younger.

3. apart from work, which is where i met her, she only hangs out with other asians.

4. she doesn't really drink or 'party' and sort of looks down on people who do, but thinks nothing of loosing hundreds of dollars at a casino, or spending an entire weekend gambling.

i'm really attracted to this girl, but i'm starting to wonder if there's any chance of being compatible. let me know what you guys think. have any of you experienced anything like this?

 

[MuffinMuncher]

This discussion has nothing to do with being Asian since you've made no mention of "not fitting in with her friends" or "her family doesnt seem to like you". Everything you've mentioned and described occurs between males and females of all ethnicities.

Unless you have low self-esteem and somehow feel better about yourself by being around an attractive girl who does not act like she takes you seriously, keep the "relationship" (and I use that term loosely) in perspective.

If she liked you enough to date you exclusively, she would be making an effort now that she knows you are interested. She's not, so you have your answer on that topic. However, there's nothing wrong with just trying to sleep with her, but that's probably the only realistic goal you have based on what you have described.

You learn, after many many many repeated blows to the heart and ego, that some girls just aren't into you - and no amount of wishing will change that stark reality. The best advice I can give you is to not get emotionally invested in this girl until she starts to earn that privilege. Keep it detached, date other girls, dont fixate on her, and dont take one act of kindness on her part as a sign that she's "changed".

Take her to a casino, hope she wins big, then bang the snot out of her - that's what you're after anyway. Right?

 

[BallzDeep]

Buy her some adult diapers for her to go to the casino, she'll love you then.

 

[LordLoki]

4. she doesn't really drink or 'party' and sort of looks down on people who do, but thinks nothing of loosing hundreds of dollars at a casino, or spending an entire weekend gambling.

i'm really attracted to this girl, but i'm starting to wonder if there's any chance of being compatible. let me know what you guys think. have any of you experienced anything like this?

Take her to the Hong Kong New Year Ball in Toronto. Watch how all the others are behaving. Notice they are ALL gambling? Notice how few get drunk?

Of course there are differences. Discover them.

And if you do drink and ‘party’ a lot arrouinf her you can pretty well assume that she has a specific reaction to you and will break dates if anything more fun is available.

 

[t_dot]

Unless you have low self-esteem and somehow feel better about yourself by being around an attractive girl who does not act like she takes you seriously, keep the "relationship" (and I use that term loosely) in perspective.

If she liked you enough to date you exclusively, she would be making an effort now that she knows you are interested. She's not, so you have your answer on that topic. However, there's nothing wrong with just trying to sleep with her, but that's probably the only realistic goal you have based on what you have described.

You learn, after many many many repeated blows to the heart and ego, that some girls just aren't into you - and no amount of wishing will change that stark reality. The best advice I can give you is to not get emotionally invested in this girl until she starts to earn that privilege. Keep it detached, date other girls, dont fixate on her, and dont take one act of kindness on her part as a sign that she's "changed".

the reason i posted this here is because some of my friends who've dated chinese girls have said they make you jump through hoops to 'test' you before they get emotionally/sexually involved. i know many terbites have dated chinese girls so i wanted to know if anyone has shared these experiences.

as for my heart and ego. i actually have two other women showing interest in me and they are both extremely attractive, but there is something about this girl that is telling me to stay in it for longer than i usually would.

 

[OnTheWayOut]

Take her to a casino, hope she wins big, then bang the snot out of her - that's what you're after anyway. Right?

Why can't he let the poor girl keep her snot?

 

[eldoguy]

My expierence with Asian girls when they ask you do you have a lot of girlfriends ? Say many even though it's bs or the truth. Was told that if you are popular , they become more interested in you.

Carry a camera when with her, take lots of pictures of her in parks, near gardens, then show her how lovely she looks, it gets there attention.

No tickleing on the first date, they get pissed.

 

[Keebler Elf]

Sounds like an asian girl to me. Especially the gambling part. I'd dump her just for that. The last thing you need is to be supporting her gambling habit. Also, the juvenile behaviour.

Unless this chick has super model looks, I'd be giving her the heave-ho.

Remember, it's the tests asian chicks give asian guys that makes them so passive and whipped.

 

[Radio_Shack]

Take it from someone who married a chinese girl (I am white). At the beginning it was kind of like what you describe. Once she trusts you, things do a 360 and you will be surprised how willing she is to please you. It's all about gaining the trust level.

Hang in there, well worth it. Just don't fuck around on her if you really want to gain that trust. One screw up and it's over. From some of your posts I see you have been dabbling with SPs. Hmm, well lots of fun but WARNING Wil Robinson...............

 

[OnTheWayOut]

I'm pretty good friends with an asian SP and the longer I get to know her and hang out I realize how big gambling is in her life. If she's not blowing hundreds of $$$ at the casino she's calling an asian bookie to bet on all kinds of stuff. We went to eat recently and she knows I'm a big baseball fan so she was pumping me for info on who to bet on that night. Hope she ignored me, she wanted to bet on the Angels and I told her the Phillies would be better, Angels won 7-1. Oops, that's why I don't bet! *lol*

Point being that the stereotype of asians gambling is more accurate than I thought. My friend was telling me of an asian MP owner she knows that she sees in the casino often dropping THOUSANDS, not just hundreds of $$$. Wonders me what they get out of this.

If you can't handle or support financially her gambling then move on. I'm sure there are many asian girls who don't gamble but in my small circle of asian friends most do. Often and heavily.

But by all means before dumping her take her to the casino and then have wild sex with her. Hopefully she'll make some of those cute lil squeaking noises during sex. Just leave the poor thing some of her snot. Perhaps try fucking the shit out of her, most people don't want shit.

 

[Mongrel4u]

Yeah...you want some advice? Be yourself. Whether you are dating an asian, white black or whatever...it'll never work if you cant be yourself

1. she seems to be jerking me around a little. breaking dates for stupid reasons etc.

2. she's only a year younger than i am, but acts 10 years younger.

This has nothing to do with being Asian...this is a personality issue and not a very flattering one at that.

3. apart from work, which is where i met her, she only hangs out with other asians.

This generally holds true for all groups

4. she doesn't really drink or 'party' and sort of looks down on people who do, but thinks nothing of loosing hundreds of dollars at a casino, or spending an entire weekend gambling.

Sounds very hypocritical

i'm really attracted to this girl, but i'm starting to wonder if there's any chance of being compatible. let me know what you guys think. have any of you experienced anything like this?

Can I ask you why you are attracted to this girl? From wht you have said shes not looking too hot at all

 

[Mongrel4u]

the reason i posted this here is because some of my friends who've dated chinese girls have said they make you jump through hoops to 'test' you before they get emotionally/sexually involved. i know many terbites have dated chinese girls so i wanted to know if anyone has shared these experiences.

I've dated MANY asian girls yet only ONE was like that...and I regretted getting involved with her.

Rule of Thumb...if a girl..ANY girl doesnt respect you enough to treat you like anything but a circus act she is not worth your time....yellow, white, black, brown.. whatever.

I say you drop this girl and get another one

 

[Vinewood]

Hmm, yeah, familiar. Based on my experience only;

Point #1, you're being tested. If you're comfortable with playing games make it clear that you're looking around or set up a situation where you're out with her and another girl, and then pay lots of attention to the other girl. Childish, I know, and I wouldn't put up with it (anymore) but it works.

#2, sucks and I don't know the cure, other than that maybe she wants you to be more of a daddy figure to her.

#3 and #4, Lemme ask an unfortunate question, and you may not find out until it's too late yourself, but is she a Christian, and just HOW Christian is she? This isn't a dig against Christians at all but in my experience young Christians, especially of the Asian persuasion, are very very concerned about the appearance of piety. Note I said *appearance of*. It can be a big pain in the butt, especially if you have a voracious appetite for sex.

 

[skypilot]

but thinks nothing of loosing hundreds of dollars at a casino, or spending an entire weekend gambling.

This will be your death nell regardless of ethnicity. Get away from her quickly!

 

[t_dot]

i didn't mean to give the impression her bad qualities out weigh the good ones.

i like her because she is very smart and nice. we have become friends and have had many conversations that indicate (to me anyway) that she is a good person. she is pretty as well.

with regard to the gambling thing, i don't think it's a problem at this point. she comes from money and the amounts she looses (though i wouldn't be comfortable throwing that kind of cash away) she can afford. at this point. the only reason i brought it up is because i've noticed some people can be hypocritical about their own vices. (eg: i work with lots of young italian guys, who all seem to dis pot smokers like me, but yet will never turn down a 'rail' when they are out clubbing.)

i guess i'm going to keep doing what i'm doing, and see what happens. i must admit i really want to have sex with her. from all the info i've gotten from her i doubt she's ever had good sex of any kind. except maybe with some kind of plastic device.

 

[Questor]

Lots of opinions expressed above. I don't see where tdot has explained what he hopes to get from this girl. The faults he lists...immaturity, gambling, game playing, hypocrisy, judgemental, disrespecting...don't indicate a lot of potential. If his goal is to get into her pants, then for me it wouldn't be worth the hassle, but for others it might be. Like what others have said...take her to the casino. If she wins big, maybe tdot wins big. I agree with the poster who suggested not to get too emotionally invested in the girl. Another good point was that the issues listed do not seem to be ethnic in origin but rather of character. I don't have much experience dating CBC (unless you include one hour dates) but that is my take on it. Tdot: put your energy into the other girls you mentioned. If the Asian girl drops some of the BS when you back off a bit, then its worth a little more effort, but at this point, I would say you have more interesting options. You haven't said what you find attractive about the girl. From what you have descibed, it must be purely on a physical level.

 

[OnTheWayOut]

Real question is.. is she FOB or CBC?

he said CBC in his 1st post

 

[OnTheWayOut]

carry on..

thx, I was getting antsy waiting .........

 

[PurpleMonkey]

t_dot, here's what to do:

She likes to break dates for stupid reasons.....let her be, sometimes there's things you won't understand now or ever will. Parents, siblings, PMS, chores, work, etc...she won't tell trust me.

She doesn't act her age.....then you don't act your age, they like to play games so play with her, but don't go too far and punch her in the face by accident or it's over.

She only hangs out with asian friends aside from work.....tell her to show you what being asian is all about, ask her to bring you to her favourite places and discover the asian culture (dim sum, chinatown, market village, whatever works) she'll love it.

She likes to gamble.....Tell her you never lose and play strip poker with her. Just don't lose, or else it's over.


If all fails, call Tina from kissubaby...she'll play strip poker with you.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

She is unreliable. (Breaks dates and makes implausible excuses (stupid reasons))
Gambles hundreds - or all weekend long.
Acts immature for her age.
Prefers to keep with her own kind and looks down on / criticises people who do things she doesn't like.

No wonder she is available.

My best advice -- Get some good asian loving before she drives you crazy. Don't lend her money for any reason. Like most gamblers she will suddenly have crises - sickness, family in trouble, etc...