Accidentally self-doxxing - Don't be a jerk

[DiscreetRocker]

We all know the drill: An escort's ad is enticing but there's not much info and no reviews, so you Google their phone number. Maybe do an image search to see if the pics are used elsewhere.

On rare occasions, my search results reveal an escort's private "civilian" identity. For example, their ad has a non-nude photo that's also on their civilian social media Facebook profile showing their real name.

When this happens, I contact them immediately to let them know. And I choose to not hire their services because I know more about them than they wanted known. In almost all cases, they're thankful I took the time to contact them about it and they take down the info that connects both private and professional identities. In some cases, they let me know they don't hide their private identity and don't care about people finding out. In rare cases, they get angry that I was "snooping" when I was just Googling info they publicly posted.

Just a reminder that as clients we have a responsibility to respect the privacy of the professionals we hire, including protecting any information they share with us or accidentally post. It's also TERB Forum Rule #1 - NO POSTING personal information, including "real names, addresses and personal social media accounts," etc. So, if you ever find this stuff DON'T SHARE IT and DON'T try to befriend them on social media. Escorts have a tough enough job and there are enough dangers out there, they don't need asshole clients making their jobs any more dangerous by sharing their personal identities.

I saw an escort get doxxed on a shitty website we don't mention here.
It's one of the reasons I don't go there anymore.
Look out for each other.
Be safe.

 

[dotdotdot69]

LOL...I don't contact them if I accidentally find them on social like FB and let them know. You do know if you text someone from your phone or even add them into your contacts there's a good chance on things like your FB feed they'll show up on the "People You May Know" to add. It's happened to me with quite a few people who've given me their numbers that are SPs & SBs and I don't add them to my social. And they at times still show up on my feed to add as a friend even after I've deleted their number from my phone and entire text msg. I'd ask for their social in person if I was a regular and wanted to add them. And I don't go out of my way to let them know even with a Google search I came across their real name or something.

My entire FB profile is locked with restrictions even for those on my friends list. Way too many people have their profiles out in the open and I find that annoying. YMMV. The odd time I reinstall Snapchat to use people who've I've contacted in the past SBs/SPs show up on the list of friends to add and I don't bother. Personally I don't like it when my phone has a bunch of notifications going off. Reminds me of that dog Pavlov had. *ding* Hurr durr better look at my phone than focus on a task. Durr.

 

[DiscreetRocker]

You laugh at this? Odd. Two things to note:

When you see an escort's safety may be compromised because their privacy has been compromised, you choose to do nothing and find that funny. That's... revealing about your ethics.

And the concern you have about the negative consequences for you - FB recommending them as people you may know - can be easily avoided by contacting them at their professional contact info, such as phone number or email address. And if you absolutely need to use your phone then doing so with a secondary phone number not connected to your social media profile.

With such easy ways to eliminate personal consequences to ourselves, I find it strange you laugh at the idea of protecting an escort's safety.

LOL...I don't contact them if I accidentally find them on social like FB and let them know. You do know if you text someone from your phone or even add them into your contacts there's a good chance on things like your FB feed they'll show up on the "People You May Know" to add. It's happened to me with quite a few people who've given me their numbers that are SPs & SBs and I don't add them to my social. And they at times still show up on my feed to add as a friend even after I've deleted their number from my phone and entire text msg. I'd ask for their social in person if I was a regular and wanted to add them. And I don't go out of my way to let them know even with a Google search I came across their real name or something...

 

[dotdotdot69]

Why would I waste time out of my day to randomly text a SP who I seen or haven't to let them know I Google reverse their image or whatever and found their real name and stuff. If I was a SP I'd be using a burner phone, new made up Gmail or something and after posting my pics making sure things are setup so people can't trace me virtually. For the ones who lack basic tech then that's a "you problem" and generally speaking people should pay me for a service to offer them help or guidance. I'm not some simp or white knight going out of my way to help others out often it gets really annoying. I've helped people here or there freely but I don't bend over backwards often. If it means it can cause harm to someone down the road well we all know the risks of this hobbying from a client and SPs point of view. If you don't then that's so sad...

And in this line of work dealing with creeps and stalkers comes often I'd say not even factoring in people putting the phone number in Google and finding on their entire real name.

I don't go out of my way while driving reporting minor things I see to like officials or something that could possibly lead to something fatal.

 

[Josephine]

Thank you for your thread 🫶

 

[The Options Menu]

Why would I waste time out of my day to randomly text a SP who I seen or haven't to let them know I Google reverse their image or whatever and found their real name and stuff.

For a provider you've seen a quick heads up, via their work contact, would be the 'decent human' thing to do, IMO. Nobody is asking for you to do a full course on digital privacy, and you shouldn't need to be remunerated for that.

My own policy if a provider reveals something a little too personal is to try to send it down the memory hole as fast as I can. I may add a polite admonishment if it's really too much info. I can be a chatty guy, so I often end up with more personal information than I really should. I do my best to keep that out of reviews, and I otherwise try my best to not be (or be perceived as) a fucking creep.

It's nice to say a provider should know better, but not every provider is experienced, and not every provider is particularly technically savvy. A provider "learning a lesson" can be pretty deeply traumatic (when not outright dangerous). I know that from first hand experience.

Even if you're being selfish, being a 'decent human' actually serves the interests of all reasonable clients (and presumably yourself). How do you take a relatively open, good natured, and enthusiastic provider and make her closed, guarded, and badly jaded? Sprinkling on a few creeps and assholes, and some hard lessons learned, seems like a rather good way to do it. Not that I'd suggest trying to be decent for some round about gain. Often doing the right thing ends up being good for everyone, and that's not being a white knight or simp.

 

[dotdotdot69]

I've helped out people here or there and I generally don't go out of my way to do those things often and if that makes me a bad person in someone's eye then so be it. I'm sure most SPs have more than enough stories about creeps/stalkers they've dealt with especially if they allow incalls at their own private res. And some people who have that kinda mental health issue don't know when to stop sadly. I've talked to a few ladies in the dating world and SPs who mentioned things to me and I'm sure most people know the law in Canada only goes so far.

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

I have had many providers show up on my Facebook to add as a friend with their pics and real names.
I never let them know.
I still see some of them but I don't reveal to them that I know their identity.
I am a vault. lol.

 

[dotdotdot69]

I've lurked/glanced at people's FB pages the odd time including if it's a SP/SB that showed up and by that I mean a few glances and stopped and didn't care much nor looked at it again. If some clown calls that stalking then get a dictionary. Considering it takes less than a minute to go into the privacy setting to change a few things around so the general public can't see stuff is a matter of being lazy and having low IQ. And that goes for any platform. First thing people should do is eventually look into any platform's settings including privacy. Some people have their IG account locked for private also.

 

[kherg007]

I think we all need to look out for each other, be it health by avoiding unsafe practices and identifying and avoiding bad actors, or discretion, by keeping all of our info private. A lady once did send me an email but it revealed her name and I immediately told her so she was able to adjust. A similar type situation with another.
Thus I'd let a lady know if I somehow was able to determine any real stuff about her so that she can better preserve her privacy. I'd hope they would do the same for me too.

 

[onomatopoeia]

One of the photographers often hired for Escorts' professional photographs used their real first names in the file names, some years ago. This information was displayed in the browser address bar, if anyone viewed the pic as an attachment.

 

[KittyCaterina]

We all know the drill: An escort's ad is enticing but there's not much info and no reviews, so you Google their phone number. Maybe do an image search to see if the pics are used elsewhere.

On rare occasions, my search results reveal an escort's private "civilian" identity. For example, their ad has a non-nude photo that's also on their civilian social media Facebook profile showing their real name.

When this happens, I contact them immediately to let them know. And I choose to not hire their services because I know more about them than they wanted known. In almost all cases, they're thankful I took the time to contact them about it and they take down the info that connects both private and professional identities. In some cases, they let me know they don't hide their private identity and don't care about people finding out. In rare cases, they get angry that I was "snooping" when I was just Googling info they publicly posted.

Just a reminder that as clients we have a responsibility to respect the privacy of the professionals we hire, including protecting any information they share with us or accidentally post. It's also TERB Forum Rule #1 - NO POSTING personal information, including "real names, addresses and personal social media accounts," etc. So, if you ever find this stuff DON'T SHARE IT and DON'T try to befriend them on social media. Escorts have a tough enough job and there are enough dangers out there, they don't need asshole clients making their jobs any more dangerous by sharing their personal identities.

I saw an escort get doxxed on a shitty website we don't mention here.
It's one of the reasons I don't go there anymore.
Look out for each other.
Be safe.

Sad thing is, it isn't just clients we need to worry about doxxing us...
Other sexworkers can be just as abusive, if not more.

For example, on the shitty no-no website I am outed (along with my mother and sometimes my deceased father) a few times per week by an unhinged sexworker who has been banned here under several names too many times to count.

She found my real name which led to my mom's name and my deceased father's name under his obituary.

I'm sure many respectful gentlemen have come across my name at this point and have just left it. We sexworkers need to worry when jealous, abusive psychopaths come across our information, not the everyday happy client.

 

[dotdotdot69]

Honestly, so far I've only come across one real name in terms of a SB I met last year and nobody so far on LL that's a SP unless it showed up on FB feed. I also don't browse LL much anymore. Most reverse image searches for the ones I checked out on LL didn't bring anything and most numbers I pasted in Google at times would be others using the same number on other escort sites so I knew it was a fake. Some do link to reviews on here or the blue board.

The odd crazy psychopaths SP hating on other SP gets scary enough, but I'd say it's the ones who are your friends that could be doing stuff behind your back are a lot worse. Personally in any line of business I'm always looking into people to a certain degree and aware of my surroundings. For me when it comes down to business is if I'm hanging with my competitor I've got my hairs up. Sometimes they might hang with you to see what you're doing that's working so they can steal ideas and stuff. As a client I already know what the real good SPs would be doing to lure more. It's not that complicated to put on a charm that typically goes a long way in this line of business.

 

[onomatopoeia]

... I'd say it's the ones who are your friends that could be doing stuff behind your back are a lot worse. Personally in any line of business I'm always looking into people to a certain degree and aware of my surroundings. For me when it comes down to business is if I'm hanging with my competitor I've got my hairs up. Sometimes they might hang with you to see what you're doing that's working so they can steal ideas and stuff. As a client I already know what the real good SPs would be doing to lure more. It's not that complicated to put on a charm that typically goes a long way in this line of business.

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.".