Meat - don't do it bud. Read the reviews.
You would be much more entertained if you wrapped $80.00 in a huge bag of dog shit and threw the bag on the road. Watch as trucks and cars alike skish the bag and mix with contents. When no traffic is around, pick up said bag and store it in a cool, dark place (ideally your sock drawer). If you still feel lonely, book an appointment with Abbey, and bring the bag with you. Tell her the money is in the bag - "sorry 'bout the mess. I left the money on the table and the friggin' dog ate it". You won't get off, but at least the sour expression will be on her face, not yours.