3 friends face divorces & 1 breakup in Dec. Jan is worse?

[JEFF247]

Three friends are faced with divorce this month. 2 never saw it coming and the other cheated (it was just a matter of time). For the 2 that never saw it, one wife said get the fuck out and the other just left (with 2 kids). The long term breakup I mentioned was 10 years living together. She just said sorry, thanks but no more. Got to admit all the women are hot.

Can't say I disagree. They are nice guys with good jobs, but pretty vanilla (boring). They enjoyed being around their best friends. Unfortunately, their wives didn't seem to be their best friends! Just seems odd all 4 went down this month.

I looked it up and January is supposed to be the big month for divorces. Supposed to happen AFTER the holidays. January should be interesting.

 

[oil&gas]

Only one of them cheated. Are the other who didn't hobbyists nonetheless,

 

[Serpent]

Three friends are faced with divorce this month. 2 never saw it coming and the other cheated (it was just a matter of time). For the 2 that never saw it, one wife said get the fuck out and the other just left (with 2 kids). The long term breakup I mentioned was 10 years living together. She just said sorry, thanks but no more. Got to admit all the women are hot.

How can someone in a 10yr relationship not know that it's not doing well?

 

[simon482]

see people don't get divorced in dec cuz they want the gifts, they leave in january cuz they don't want to deal with the credit card debt.

 

[rafterman]

Ha ha ha apparently December holidays is also the most popular time for engagements too. I guess there is some karmic balance to that.

 

[djk]

see people don't get divorced in dec cuz they want the gifts, they leave in january cuz they don't want to deal with the credit card debt.

If they only knew debt is treated as community property.

 

[ig-88]

marriage only makes sense if both parties are financially solvent and can minimize debt-to-income ratio.

 

[yard]

The guys will get shafted no matter what in the divorce. Thats just how the system rolls. I have heard this, not by personal experience but, from what I have heard from friends , neighbours etc. and their stories are consistently similar on what happens. Now they are living hand to mouth paying through the you know what in support.

 

[krayjee]

My best advice to your friends is to settle fast even if they think it is not a fair settlement or what they ask for is ridiculous. It is a lot cheaper that way in the long run. Do not, I repeat DO NOT let the case drag on which all the family lawyers love to do knowing the longer they drag on the more they make. Most family lawyers prey on the mysteries of others, especiallly if they think you have a big chunk of money they can get a cut on. A lady lawyer whom I met on POF told me it is called Churning in their language.

Pls remember most women are blinded by anger in the middle of divorce and the lawyers are very good at making them feel good and sucking them into it real deep plus most lawyers are friends and work together to benefit them the most. Not you or your wife. Also remeber the sayings " Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" or " Never ever underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off women" and also remember the law favors the women here and if the judge is a lady judge, you are done.

 

[Malibook]

I have 1 friend who got divorced.
His wife worked and they had no kids.
They split everything up and went their separate ways.

I have 2 friends going through divorce now.
Their wives didn`t work and they have 2 kids.
They are both fucked.

 

[dj1470]

The guys will get shafted no matter what in the divorce. Thats just how the system rolls. I have heard this, not by personal experience but, from what I have heard from friends , neighbours etc. and their stories are consistently similar on what happens. Now they are living hand to mouth paying through the you know what in support.

Not my experience. Not even close. So much for consistent.
Or maybe I was just lucky enough to get in a relationship/marriage with the only level headed woman in Canada.

I am divorced.
It was amicable.
No lawyers involved just a notary.
No alimony or palimony involved as we both have successful careers.
It hurts in the beginning but 11 years later it works quite well.
My ex and I live about one hour drive apart in different cities.
My two daughters visit me every second weekend, most holidays, and (last summer) 5 weeks in a row.
I am even taking them for March break to the Bahamas.
It all works very well right now.
Everybody is happy and I get to hobby whenever I want.

 

[krayjee]

Not my experience. Not even close. So much for consistent.
Or maybe I was just lucky enough to get in a relationship/marriage with the only level headed woman in Canada.

I am divorced.
It was amicable.
No lawyers involved just a notary.
No alimony or palimony involved as we both have successful careers.
It hurts in the beginning but 11 years later it works quite well.
My ex and I live about one hour drive apart in different cities.
My two daughters visit me every second weekend, most holidays, and (last summer) 5 weeks in a row.
I am even taking them for March break to the Bahamas.
It all works very well right now.
Everybody is happy and I get to hobby whenever I want.

Yea...in some cases its true. Depends on the woman and how much assets you have. If you have a fiesty lady who caught you cheating and if you have lots of assets and business, its a different story. Especially a business with her shares or she has a hand in it.

If you are working for somebody and all you have is your regular pay cheques which she knows how much you take home, there is not much of an issue there. But if you have a business with lots of money coming in from different angles and different sources, you have a very good chance of getting audited by forensic accountings and such . Its a different game there. Especially if you come across a lady like my ex, who doesn't give a shit about the money and went all out war just to destroy you. She had already blown over a mil and still refuses to settle. Typical taurus.

 

[heddon]

There is an excellent book on divorce titled 'Tug of War' written by Justice Harvey Brownstone, a sitting family court judge here in Toronto. I highly recommend both parties read this book before entering the nasty legal arena, especially if there are kids involved. A must read that can save parties $$ and aggravation.

 

[james t kirk]

So many things are fucked up with marriages and break ups.

First and foremost, the concept that humans are as noble as Canadian Geese and are monogamous. The fact is that we are not as a species. As Dan Savage pointed out in one of his videos up until a couple of hundred years ago, men were understood to fuck around, but at the same time, he was to keep his wife and children in house and home. Women on the other hand were expected to stay at home, raise the man's children and by god, remain faithful. Only have sex with the husband. Then, a hundred years ago or so, women started to earn their own way in the work force. And rather than be more like men, society somehow expected men to be more like women and become monagamous. Well, how'd that work out?

So to the OP, you think that only 1 person out of the 8 people involved has been having sex outside the relationship?

If you do, I have a bridge over the Don River I'd like to sell you.

I guarantee that at least 5, of the 8 people involved are actively having sex outside their relationship. (If not more.)

You just don't know it. Either your friends aren't confiding in you because they don't want to risk word getting round, or their partners whom you don't really know are the ones spreading.

Just give it time, it will all come out. Always does.

Tell your male friends to start being detectives. They'll find out who she's sleeping with.

 

[Mikehorn]

So many things are fucked up with marriages and break ups.

Then, a hundred years ago or so, women started to earn their own way in the work force. And rather than be more like men, society somehow expected men to be more like women and become monagamous. Well, how'd that work out?

I think way less than a hundred years ago, probably more like fifty (or even forty).

 

[Scarey]

Ironically, my wife and i just had a massive blow up about 30 minutea go.I'm ready to move on.i think she is to.She did threaten some nasty stuff.This should be interesting.....they say you never meet your wife until you meet her across the court room.

 

[punter]

Are they white or Asian?

 

[ig-88]

we still have remnants of the ol' "get married" mentality left over from the 50s

but in the 21st century, it looks like people are rethinking this ... more people than ever are single now

 

[Manji]

I heard a stat that if a couple divorces their friends are then more likely to divorce....

Could be it inspires the spouse to take the plunge once they see their friends doing it......and they are not alone....

Just out of curiousity to all the guys who got divorced... How old are you guys? And how long were you married for?

 

[mycount4]

The amicable split only works if both parties want it as soon as one does not then its a war.

get the violin out ....

Anyway every relationship is a negotiation from beginning to end. That is why hobbying is so easy (if you do it right) you know what you get for what you give no questions asked.

In a permanent relationship, hmmmm things change over time.