2004 Democratic Convention Schedule

[Cinema Face]

6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:00 p.m. - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson & Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to France.
7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male & female couples)
9:30 p.m.. - * Intermission *
10:00 p.m.. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30 p.m. - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of democratic candidate.

Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the
convention ?

 

[Drunken Master]

2004 Republican Convention Schedule

6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony – of all other countries except America.
6:00 p.m. - Opening Bible thumping by Rev. Jerry Falwell & Rev. Pat Robertson
6:30 p.m. - Pro-war concert by Toby Keith.
6:40 p.m. – George W. Bush proposes a toast – with cocaine.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to Libya.
7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for executives of Enron defense fund.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Israel.
7:45 p.m. - Pro-war rally (Moderated by Bill O’Reilly)
8:25 p.m. – George W. Bush proposes a toast – with more cocaine.
8:30 p.m. - Terrorist financial support workshop – keynote speaker Oliver North.
9:00 p.m. - Cousin marriage ceremony
9:30 p.m. - * Intermission *
10:00 p.m. – Pissing on the Iraqi flag by Bruce Willis and the Governator.
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Bush’s near-fatal brush with a pretzel.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by the Amazing Animatronic Strom Thurmond!
10:30 p.m. – Prisoner abuse demonstration by U.S.M.C.
10:40 p.m. – George W. Bush proposes a toast – with a syringe full of cocaine.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to Satan.
11:00 p.m. - Multiple cousin marriage ceremony (human-barnyard animal marriages to be held the following day).
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Corporate Welfare workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Ken Lay' pep rally.
11:59 p.m. – George W. Bush proposes a toast – and promptly dies of massive heart-failure. Dick Cheney follows suit.
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of Republican candidate.