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Sexless marriage

massman said:
Fair points. Sex may not be “needed” by all.

It still stands that when you commit to monogamy, in exchange for that commitment in your partner, there is an expectation that you will do your best to help them feel loved and physically happy.
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Many men believe that when they say "I do", they will be having sex regularly with the other party in the oral contract, in perpetuity. That last bit actually applies literally with Mormon marriages.

In reality, that frequently won't happen. The guys should have gotten it it writing.

One would think that if all wives had the same enthusiasm for sex during marriage as they had had during courtship, there would be many fewer members of TERB, and very few Escort reviews.

As mentioned earlier in this thread, I've personally both never been married, and I never wanted to be.
 
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onomatopoeia said:
Many men believe that when they say "I do", they will be having sex regularly with the other party in the oral contract, in perpetuity. That last bit actually applies literally with Mormon marriages.

In reality, that frequently won't happen. The guys should have gotten it it writing.

One would think that if all wives had the same enthusiasm for sex during marriage as they had had during courtship, there would be many fewer members of TERB, and very few Escort reviews.

As mentioned earlier in this thread, I've personally both never been married, and I never wanted to be.
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I have a hard time believing you’ve never married entirely by choice. There’s a difference between choosing not to get married and never finding someone who wants to marry you 🤣


onomatopoeia said:
The person you quoted is a troll whom I recently added to my Ignore list. I'll deal with him later.
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Anyone that disagrees or calls a person out = Troll (Boomer Dictionary Edition)
 
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onomatopoeia said:
You're white knighting here, but keep in mind that @SinnamonFairbanks has mentioned more than once in other posts that several aspects of her marriage are less than ideal. My comment referred only to quantity, rather than quality.

If an Escort is posting in The Lounge on TERB to bemoan the fact that she's not getting enough sex, (combining both transactional and relationship sex), I, and many other guys, would conclude that "Grace" is back, with a new handle.
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Not sure that I was white knighting, merely saying that if an escort has a personal sex life that is unsatisfying, it is not entirely surprising that having sex for work may not compensate for that.

I do however agree with you that sympathy may be hard to find in this place for such an issue.

Anyway, we are veering into a thread hijack here. Lol
 
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massman said:
Not sure that I was white knighting, merely saying that if an escort has a personal sex life that is unsatisfying, it is not entirely surprising that having sex for work may not compensate for that.

I do however agree with you that sympathy may be hard to find in this place for such an issue.

Anyway, we are veering into a thread hijack here. Lol
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@onomatopoeia hijack this thread longtime ago
 
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massman said:
Not sure that I was white knighting, merely saying that if an escort has a personal sex life that is unsatisfying, it is not entirely surprising that having sex for work may not compensate for that. ...
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Exactly the opposite can also be true. Sometimes a man, wealthy or not, might marry an Escort or a porn star and rarely or never have sex with them. His sexual fetish might be voyeurism, or cuckoldry - his pleasure being derived from watching other men have sex with his wife. There were dozens of Penthouse Forum letters about scenarios exactly like that.

Years ago there was an Escort - *v* of B*rr**, (fill in the vowels yourself), and according to shop talk on this board, he husband used to watch her work from the bedroom closet, kind of like "Jeffrey" in the movie Blue Velvet.

There are probably many* married Escorts, and most certainly many trophy wives, who have better sex with clients or with employees, compared to with their spouse.

*Note for the reading impaired: 'many' only means more than a few. It does not imply than the many represent a majority of the all, or even a significant percentage.

There are many wealthy men who are very competitive with other wealthy men in many different ways. It could be in attempting to have more money, or it could be in possessing people or objects where demand exceeds supply. A Mickey Mantle rookie card in mint condition is not really 'worth' $5 Million dollars, but it may sell for that much, if more than one person with more than $5 Million dollars they don't need wants it, and only one is available. The guy who wins the auction doesn't necessarily want it the most, his motivation may have been primarily to prevent one of his rivals from owning it. The guy who bought it will probably hang on to it for a few years, show it off to anyone he wants to impress, and then put it up for auction again, and some other guy will pay more than $5 Million to do exactly the same thing.

Exactly the same thing can happen with people. Ask yourself this: How many times do YOU think Jacqueline Kennedy had sex with Aristotle Onasis?

Onassis-JKO-limo-3000-3x2gty-5c01a685c9e77c00013ead5f.jpg

The two of them were rarely in the same country at the same time. Jackie had expensive tastes and was very high maintenance. Ari lit his cigars with $100 bills. He funded her lifestyle, and she was one of the baubles in his jewelry collection. If Jackie had any great sex during that marriage, it was probably with the pool boy or the chauffeur.
 
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onomatopoeia said:
Exactly the opposite can also be true. Sometimes a man, wealthy or not, might marry an Escort or a porn star and rarely or never have sex with them. His sexual fetish might be voyeurism, or cuckoldry - his pleasure being derived from watching other men have sex with his wife. There were dozens of Penthouse Forum letters about scenarios exactly like that.

Years ago there was an Escort - *v* of B*rr**, (fill in the vowels yourself), and according to shop talk on this board, he husband used to watch her work from the bedroom closet, kind of like "Jeffrey" in the movie Blue Velvet.

There are probably many* married Escorts, and most certainly many trophy wives, who have better sex with clients or with employees, compared to with their spouse.

*Note for the reading impaired: 'many' only means more than a few. It does not imply than the many represent a majority of the all, or even a significant percentage.

There are many wealthy men who are very competitive with other wealthy men in many different ways. It could be in attempting to have more money, or it could be in possessing people or objects where demand exceeds supply. A Mickey Mantle rookie card in mint condition is not really 'worth' $5 Million dollars, but it may sell for that much, if more than one person with more than $5 Million dollars they don't need wants it, and only one is available. The guy who wins the auction doesn't necessarily want it the most, his motivation may have been primarily to prevent one of his rivals from owning it. The guy who bought it will probably hang on to it for a few years, show it off to anyone he wants to impress, and then put it up for auction again, and some other guy will pay more than $5 Million to do exactly the same thing.

Exactly the same thing can happen with people. Ask yourself this: How many times do YOU think Jacqueline Kennedy had sex with Aristotle Onasis?

View attachment 663003

The two of them were rarely in the same country at the same time. Jackie had expensive tastes and was very high maintenance. Ari lit his cigars with $100 bills. He funded her lifestyle, and she was one of the baubles in his jewelry collection. If Jackie had any great sex during that marriage, it was probably with the pool boy or the chauffeur.
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Screenshot 2026-10-15 at 3.57.45 PM.png
 
swouwee said:
Just wondering how many people are in a sexless marriage and for how long has it been like that.
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Many and it has been like that since the beginning of time and life.
Go to 12 step programs and find out. If you are AI I guess you can't go.

The worst is being a cuckold father. Hence why some men have said to their girlfriends before marriage they will do a DNA test. If she argues or talks back the men walk away.
 
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SinnamonFairbanks said:
Ohh, yeah, I forgot that guys think that all sex is good sex...
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Where guys get that from:


SinnamonFairbanks said:
to be clear, I get almost no sexual gratification whatsoever from my job...
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@SinnamonFairbanks : I was unaware of those aspects of your Escorting work. My condolences to you; I know from other posts that you have lived a hard life.

I've been to Cobourg many times, but never outside of the Via rail station. A buddy of mine, now deceased, used to live in Warkworth, and he'd pick me up at the train station when I visited. I enjoyed swimming in the sinkhole pond near Campbellford, before and after the 'algae season'.
 
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massman said:
For (many of) us guys, good sex with someone who you are in a relationship with trumps transactional sex. I’m sure this is more true for the providers of the transactional sex.
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I have had both and I kinda enjoy good transactional sex more TBH. esp with a multiple repeat.
 
massman said:
Sex / physical intimacy is a basic human need. Therefore if one partner in a marriage no longer wants sex, they have that right, it’s their body. However if the expectation is ongoing monogamy from the other partner, that is not right. They then have unilaterally decided that their partner’s sex life is over, and that isn’t ok. If one person no longer wants sex in the relationship, they should give the other partner the freedom of seeking options elsewhere, or offer them a clean and painless exit from the relationship.

While most people are aware that most traditional wedding vows include a promise of fidelity, (forsaking all others), it is less well appreciated that this is accompanied by a promise of “keeping unto them” and “to have and to hold” as well. Unilaterally denying that is a violation of the marriage contract as much as cheating.
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For a couple of years I didn't want to be touched or be intimate with anyone, until I decided to see a high end MP in Oakville, and when I arrived she hugged me, like I properly never been hugged before, obviously she knew nothing about my past or that I didn't felt like being hugged.

But something happened it relieved me for some grief but also all my stresses.

Intimacy might not being a human right but it does make you feel more human
 
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onomatopoeia said:
Since your profession is Escort, you can't necessarily expect to receive much sympathy from guys on an Escort Review Board when you lament about the lack of sex you're receiving within marriage.
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I have to disagree!
One reason is that if someone who engages in this « hobby » and all the while is oblivious to the difference between sex in a relationship Vs sex in the hobby , should take a pause as blurring this line has never led to good things

The second reason is the lack of empathy in a highly emotional environment, and yes sympathy is there , ones views should be taken as universally applicable to everyone
 
MigzBigz said:
I have to disagree!
One reason is that if someone who engages in this « hobby » and all the while is oblivious to the difference between sex in a relationship Vs sex in the hobby , should take a pause as blurring this line has never led to good things

The second reason is the lack of empathy in a highly emotional environment, and yes sympathy is there , ones views should be taken as universally applicable to everyone
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Read on. @SinnamonFairbanks later explained that while she does work as an Escort, she primarily caters to fetish requests which don't include full service. I think she and I 'are good' on this, as she later gave me a couple of 'Ha Ha' reactions.

You'd probably agree that if a difficult- to- book agency gal who routinely had multiple appointments daily was to complain that she was not getting enough sex, this board would not be the best place to expect sympathetic reactions.
 
I'm just totally in a sexless marriage who I am hopelessly in love with. I have tried a mpa and an sp.. and I just can't stay up.

My wife is the hottest fucking thing to me and I can't have sex with her because she's never in the mood due to medications she is taking for endometriosis which also plummets her libido. It's very unfortunate.
 
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switchboard said:
I'm just totally in a sexless marriage who I am hopelessly in love with. I have tried a mpa and an sp.. and I just can't stay up.

My wife is the hottest fucking thing to me and I can't have sex with her because she's never in the mood due to medications she is taking for endometriosis which also plummets her libido. It's very unfortunate.
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I don't believe you.
 
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