Badmouthing other independants

DerryKing · Oct 15, 2026

I found myself in a wierd situation recently where I saw someone in Kingston age listed mid late twenties and she specificaly asked me about a few other girls before we started and continued at the end to. I felt pressure and spur of moment I told her which I had seen and who I wanted to see of the ones she asked about.
I probably shouldn't have and I did though because I didn't want to start anything off in a bad way even though the mean comments that came from her about the others was a turn off anyways.
Some of the comments seemed to want to put others in danger with real names and some other stuff.

I am coming here to wonder and ask how you would deal with this. Would you just never see her again or would you also warn the women mentioned that this is happening and could be a danger to them?
Others I have seen speak nicely of each other and make recommendations so this had really put me off and worried for safety because of some of the comments.

Stewie15 · Oct 15, 2026

that’s a weird situation. I’d probably be inclined to message them and say “hey, wanted to let you know another provider is disclosing your real name” and let them take it from there. You don’t need to get into the details and that she was bad mouthing them.

CallMeAImp · Oct 15, 2026

Is this a provider you already have established rapport with? I’m wondering what would compel them to be comfortable enough to ask unless they knew you well or it came up in text or prior meeting. Can’t say I’ve ever had another lady bring up someone else unless it was a shared establishment or spa where seemingly they are all friendly. Otherwise the default is the nervous “haven’t done this before” and “no idea who that is”

ShenaniganD · Oct 15, 2026

I believe this has been happening in Kingston for a while now. A couple of year ago a provider was telling me about similar situations and providers trying to damage others reputations.

prettypennyc · Oct 15, 2026

Your best bet is just to keep conversation light

meanwhile my dream date is to go for dinner with all my favourite SPs and 1 man who just basks in our auras and orders everything on the menu and takes cute pics of me and my girlies

@KittyCaterina pack your bag girl

TigerFlex5 · Oct 15, 2026

DerryKing said:
I found myself in a wierd situation recently where I saw someone in Kingston age listed mid late twenties and she specificaly asked me about a few other girls before we started and continued at the end to. I felt pressure and spur of moment I told her which I had seen and who I wanted to see of the ones she asked about.
I probably shouldn't have and I did though because I didn't want to start anything off in a bad way even though the mean comments that came from her about the others was a turn off anyways.
Some of the comments seemed to want to put others in danger with real names and some other stuff.

I am coming here to wonder and ask how you would deal with this. Would you just never see her again or would you also warn the women mentioned that this is happening and could be a danger to them?
Others I have seen speak nicely of each other and make recommendations so this had really put me off and worried for safety because of some of the comments.

Well, without further details on what was said or the reason for putting those girls at risk, my inclination in a situation like this, would be to refrain from commenting or getting drawn into drama with her. If, ultimately, the experience with her wasn't to your liking, you are free not to see her again.
In this industry, exercising discretion in your comments remains a wise choice.

KittyCaterina · Oct 15, 2026

TigerFlex5 said:
Well, without further details on what was said or the reason for putting those girls at risk, my inclination in a situation like this, would be to refrain from commenting or getting drawn into drama with her. If, ultimately, the experience with her wasn't to your liking, you are free not to see her again.
In this industry, exercising discretion in your comments remains a wise choice.

There is never a good reason for outing personal info or dangerous comments/trying to ruin a reputation.

That being said, petty drama is petty drama and some SPs are petty and jealous. It is what it is.

Unless my personal info is being outed or something truly dangerous/potentially damaging is being said, I wouldn't care to know.

Let the petty and jealous girl be petty and jealous all by herself.

In the end, the SP who is spreading this type of information will only hurt her own reputation and look...
Let's say it together! PETTY AND JEALOUS!

If I were a client, I would not be repeating with the person or supporting that type of immature behaviour. If they will out their peers or put their peers in danger, why wouldn't they do the same to you.

Mandalorian · Oct 15, 2026

I find that the ones who like to gossip and trash talk her competitors (not just in SW but any line of work) are insecure. This speaks more about them than the ones she talks ill of, Total turn off. I’d stop seeing her and if she ever messages you asking why you stopped going, I’d cite this issue specifically.

KittyCaterina · Oct 16, 2026

prettypennyc said:
Your best bet is just to keep conversation light meanwhile my dream date is to go for dinner with all my favourite SPs and 1 man who just basks in our auras and orders everything on the menu and takes cute pics of me and my girlies @KittyCaterina pack your bag girl

I will be in Ottawa Nov 12th to 15th, so tell me when and where beautiful!

*shameless plug*

lunaseraphim · Oct 16, 2026

There are SP who do this and it's really better not to engage with them... It's a huge red flag. Also please don't believe what another provider is telling you. Just like some clients like to spread false rumors, some providers do as well. I had to deal with a person like this who went after me and a few colleagues multiple times including last night... Somebody like this is just miserable and full of hate.

RyanTerb · Oct 16, 2026

People badmouthing people in any setting is unsexy. Why would this happen in an industry to has sexiness as one of its pillars? Sadly, it does happen in all walks of life, however, the good part of this is we all control our own responses to such things. Years ago, i learned an important lesson on this from one of my all time favourite ladies in this industry. I mentioned something about a previous experience not being good and her response was something to the effect of "let's not talk about other experiences, we are here to create our own". That really resonated with me and I have not forgotten.

lunaseraphim · Oct 16, 2026

RyanTerb said:
People badmouthing people in any setting is unsexy. Why would this happen in an industry to has sexiness as one of its pillars? Sadly, it does happen in all walks of life, however, the good part of this is we all control our own responses to such things. Years ago, i learned an important lesson on this from one of my all time favourite ladies in this industry. I mentioned something about a previous experience not being good and her response was something to the effect of "let's not talk about other experiences, we are here to create our own". That really resonated with me and I have not forgotten.

I agree. I'm not a big fan of discussing other providers with clients. Some men have a tendency to do this and it's not good.. particularly when you don't know if they 2 women know each other.

I think there's sometimes animosity between providers because it's a competitive industry and we are always compared.

KittyCaterina · Oct 16, 2026

lunaseraphim said:
There are SP who do this and it's really better not to engage with them... It's a huge red flag. Also please don't believe what another provider is telling you. Just like some clients like to spread false rumors, some providers do as well. I had to deal with a person like this who went after me and a few colleagues multiple times including last night... Somebody like this is just miserable and full of hate.

Exactly, never believe rumours spread by other SPs about their peers.

About eight months ago a very regular client came to me with text proof that another provider was spreading a rumour about me enjoying clients to be violent with me including rough sex. It coincided with my first bad experience in a very long time (with a new client) that could have been related.

In that situation I was thankful that the client came to me because it was absolutely untrue and I was able to make a note on my website that I absolutely do not offer that and never have.

A rumour like that can get an SP hurt or killed, and I have no idea why a fellow SP would spread that. Instead of engaging and back and forth, I just took steps to protect my safety.

massman · Oct 16, 2026

I find this a big turnoff and very unclassy. I’ve encountered it once or twice, one time with a girl I knew pretty well, who knew I’d seen this other girl. She thought it was a good idea to tell me some things “she’d heard” about this other girl. I just said, “well I don’t know anything about that, and I just try to judge people based on how they treat me and others, not on unsubstantiated rumours”

@KittyCaterina, your story is quite scary. Sorry that happened to you.

lunaseraphim · Oct 16, 2026

KittyCaterina said:
Exactly, never believe rumours spread by other SPs about their peers.

About eight months ago a client came to me with text proof that another provider was spreading a rumour about me enjoying clients to be violent with me including rough sex. It coincided with my first bad experience in a very long time that could have been related.

In that situation I was thankful that the client came to me because it was absolutely untrue and I was able to make a note on my website that I absolutely do not offer that and never have.

A rumour like that can get an SP hurt or killed, and I have no idea why a fellow SP would spread that. Instead of engaging and back and forth, I just took steps to protect my safety.

I am shocked. I'm so sorry someone did this to you. At the same time I'm wondering if he is the one who made it up... If I were a client, I would check in about consent even if I "heard" something.

Bleunuit6399 · Oct 16, 2026

KittyCaterina said:
Exactly, never believe rumours spread by other SPs about their peers.

About eight months ago a very regular client came to me with text proof that another provider was spreading a rumour about me enjoying clients to be violent with me including rough sex. It coincided with my first bad experience in a very long time (with a new client) that could have been related.

In that situation I was thankful that the client came to me because it was absolutely untrue and I was able to make a note on my website that I absolutely do not offer that and never have.

A rumour like that can get an SP hurt or killed, and I have no idea why a fellow SP would spread that. Instead of engaging and back and forth, I just took steps to protect my safety.

this is very disheartening and disturbing. It’s really shitty you’ve been subjected to that.

SIRLOKI · Oct 17, 2026

I know who you're talking about,

CallMeAImp · Oct 17, 2026

I appreciate this sentiment and would add a thought from my own experience when approaching a lady for a reference. Many ladies ask for reference from another in the industry but I recall this not landing well with a lady now retired even after seeing her a few times. Bad timing when I asked perhaps but it wasn’t even in-date. I can only figure it serves as a mechanism to keep ladies safe so they can vouch for one of their own. I can think of many others who were happy to confirm experiences, etiquette, and hygiene’s but this one in particular she seemed outright pissed I would ask.

RyanTerb said:
People badmouthing people in any setting is unsexy. Why would this happen in an industry to has sexiness as one of its pillars? Sadly, it does happen in all walks of life, however, the good part of this is we all control our own responses to such things. Years ago, i learned an important lesson on this from one of my all time favourite ladies in this industry. I mentioned something about a previous experience not being good and her response was something to the effect of "let's not talk about other experiences, we are here to create our own". That really resonated with me and I have not forgotten.

RyanTerb · Oct 17, 2026

CallMeAImp said:
I appreciate this sentiment and would add a thought from my own experience when approaching a lady for a reference. Many ladies ask for reference from another in the industry but I recall this not landing well with a lady now retired even after seeing her a few times. Bad timing when I asked perhaps but it wasn’t even in-date. I can only figure it serves as a mechanism to keep ladies safe so they can vouch for one of their own. I can think of many others who were happy to confirm experiences, etiquette, and hygiene’s but this one in particular she seemed outright pissed I would ask.

I do find the reference thing a bit sensitive. Many require it but it feels very odd to ask someone who you have been with to vouch for you so you can be with someone else. Probably my old school upbringing kicking in here, but i did have someone get quite insulted when I texted to ask if she would be a reference. She asked why I didn't want to see her instead. As I started to explain, but stopped myself and I just said, forget about it. I shouldn't have asked. I never saw her again after that.

Sonic Temple · Oct 17, 2026

RyanTerb said:
I do find the reference thing a bit sensitive. Many require it but it feels very odd to ask someone who you have been with to vouch for you so you can be with someone else. Probably my old school upbringing kicking in here, but i did have someone get quite insulted when I texted to ask if she would be a reference. She asked why I didn't want to see her instead. As I started to explain, but stopped myself and I just said, forget about it. I shouldn't have asked. I never saw her again after that.

If the SP is confident and knows the person you are, they will have no issue. Many of the good, confident, caring SPs want the best for each other as it benefits everyone in the community and promites safety for all and bribgs positives vibes for not just for them but also for the clients.

Badmouthing other independants

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