Sexless marriage

onomatopoeia · Oct 12, 2026

bigloadslinger said:
2edgy4me. Damn man! you really cooked with this one. We got a temu version of Shane Gillis in here

I'm a Boomer, but I self identify as a Gen X elder. I have no idea who Shane Gillis is. I looked on wikipedia, and apparently he's a comedian, but I'm unfamiliar with any of his material.

You should probably start quoting people other than me, because it's unlikely that you have much to say which is either new or interesting to me. If, however, you have latent masochistic tendencies, or if you are a glutton for punishment, then by all means, troll me once more. I am confident that the popcorn eaters in this thread would enjoy the result.

Eli_H2da · Oct 12, 2026

onomatopoeia said:
I'm a Boomer, but I self identify as a Gen X elder. I have no idea who Shane Gillis is. I looked on wikipedia, and apparently he's a comedian, but I'm unfamiliar with any of his material.

You should probably start quoting people other than me, because it's unlikely that you have much to say which is either new or interesting to me. If, however, you have latent masochistic tendencies, or if you are a glutton for punishment, then by all means, troll me once more. I am confident that the popcorn eaters in this thread would enjoy the result.

There is nothing wrong with masochistic tendencies, but at this point you’re asking for a beating more enthusiastically than Mr. Slinger.

I’m not targeting you personally; your arguments simply make themselves easy to take apart.

bigloadslinger · Oct 12, 2026

onomatopoeia said:
I'm a Boomer, but I self identify as a Gen X elder. I have no idea who Shane Gillis is. I looked on wikipedia, and apparently he's a comedian, but I'm unfamiliar with any of his material.

You should probably start quoting people other than me, because it's unlikely that you have much to say which is either new or interesting to me. If, however, you have latent masochistic tendencies, or if you are a glutton for punishment, then by all means, troll me once more. I am confident that the popcorn eaters in this thread would enjoy the result.

You are a comedian you don't know who the comedian that has hosted SNL, The ESPYs, and the largest record of audience for a Comedian? You gotta live under a rock. Thats like being a boomer into football and not knowing who Travis Kelce is.

Anyways, This is a public forum not your personal livestream or Reddit AMA. That’s a remarkably elaborate way of saying “I hope you reply.”

You’ve written an entire audition monologue for the role of Unbothered Intellectual, complete with popcorn extras and a dramatic reference to masochism. And yet, here you are, personally promoting the sequel. If I’m so uninteresting, I’d hate to see how you behave when something actually captures your attention.

p.s I didn't need you to tell me you are a boomer <3

onomatopoeia · Oct 12, 2026

I met Mladen "Monster Mel' Miljas

in 2017, after a Lee Baxter-promoted fight card at The Danforth Music Hall. Lee himself was the best-dressed man of the night. He was wearing an orange correctional system jumpsuit with a set of handcuffs dangling from one wrist.

Mel was the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of Canada briefly, before he was stripped of his title. He was 14-0 with 13 KO's in his pro career. A dispute with his manager and COVID-19 largely derailed his career, that and the fact that no contenders wanted to fight him.

I suggested to Mel that he should fund his training by offering himself for stud services to couples where the husband has a lot of money, but isn't physically imposing. Mel wouldn't sell them his sperm, he'd bang the cuck's wife to knock her up.

The benefit to the husband would be that he would be able to raise 'a son of Superman' as his own, with all the advantages of his wealth to ensure that his name would outlive him, if not his genes. I'm sure the wife would enjoy it, as well. Mel was 6'6"/ 237 pounds in his prime, and all muscle, if you pardon my French.

He thought the idea was pretty funny.

bigloadslinger · Oct 12, 2026

Brotha, you literally are told by AUDIENCES of people that you aren't funny LMAO!

onomatopoeia said:
I met Mladen "Monster Mel' Miljas

View attachment 661548

in 2017, after a Lee Baxter-promoted fight card at The Danforth Music Hall. Lee himself was the best-dressed man of the night. He was wearing an orange correctional system jumpsuit with a set of handcuffs dangling from one wrist.

Mel was the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of Canada briefly, before he was stripped of his title. He was 14-0 with 13 KO's in his pro career. A dispute with his manager and COVID-19 largely derailed his career, that and the fact that no contenders wanted to fight him.

I suggested to Mel that he should fund his training by offering himself for stud services to couples where the husband has a lot of money, but isn't physically imposing. Mel wouldn't sell them his sperm, he'd bang the cuck's wife to knock her up.

The benefit to the husband would be that he would be able to raise 'a son of Superman' as his own, with all the advantages of his wealth to ensure that his name would outlive him, if not his genes. I'm sure the wife would enjoy it, as well. Mel was 6'6"/ 237 pounds in his prime, and all muscle, if you pardon my French.

He thought the idea was pretty funny.

Reading your posts reminds me of this meme:

onomatopoeia · Oct 12, 2026

bigloadslinger · Oct 12, 2026

onomatopoeia said:
View attachment 661565

Alright guys, hold off on the popcorn. The Punisher has muted me after not having a rebuttal <3. Thank god he spared me from such an insane roast!

Eli_H2da · Oct 12, 2026

bigloadslinger said:
Alright guys, hold off on the popcorn. The Punisher has muted me after not having a rebuttal <3. Thank god he spared me from such an insane roast!

I guess we can openly talk about him now,

bigloadslinger · Oct 12, 2026

Eli_H2da said:
I guess we can openly talk about him now,

Its taking all my strength to not make his post about how he performed at yuk yuks 3 times and they hated him my signature

Eli_H2da · Oct 12, 2026

bigloadslinger said:
Its taking all my strength to not make his post about how he performed at yuk yuks 3 times and they hated him my signature

Rumor has it, he wrote the lyrics to the Boomer anthem (or was it screenplay) "we didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel

Eli_H2da · Oct 12, 2026

bigloadslinger said:
Its taking all my strength to not make his post about how he performed at yuk yuks 3 times and they hated him my signature

Can you link to the yuk yuk story

onomatopoeia · Oct 14, 2026

@HoneyBadger: @Sonic Temple and I rarely exchange quotes in the forums, but we communicate with each other frequently through private messaging. I've provided quite a few audio and video additions to his music collection; our tastes overlap to some extent. I am certain that he will be most pleased when next he checks his incoming private notifications

He gives me some feedback on my t-shirt design projects.

Liam011 · Oct 14, 2026

MigzBigz said:
I find SBs way more complicated !

Yeah, well, I got into an IRL relationship with an escort. One of the most amazing women I have ever known but a complete basketcase emotionally and a complicated and tumultuous year of my life.

It's kind of ruined hobbying for me. Probably not permanently but I haven't seen one in a long time. I'll stick to SBs and girls I meet on the apps for now.

Ponderling · Oct 14, 2026

duskfield said:
Got kicked out of the room...

I got kicked out of my wifes bed for my snoring.
I actually now get a better nights sleep in the comfy heated/air conditioned back yard man cave/workshop where I sleep.
No more twitching legs that end up kicking me
Hot flash eruptioms where she throws all the covers off her doubling up covers onto me. Then I overheat.
And the bedroom fan on for any exposed bit of me to freeze.

She does theatre and comes home from rehersals late, in the evening, and it takes a while for her to wind down.
Me, I hit the bed at 10pm no problem. With an afternoon nap I am good for later bed times.

Mornings I am up 5, 5:30am no problem.
She usually awakens 8:30am.

By then I have coffeee made and in a thermos waiting for her.
Meat out of freezer thawing to later cook a dinner with.
Overnight dishwasher load emptied and dishes put away.
Laundry started last night either on the outside clothes line drying, or tossed into the dryer and then later sorted and folded ready to be put away.

SinnamonFairbanks · Oct 14, 2026

I dont know if im in a sexless marriage. We have sex... but he cums too fast and the fun is over. Im left dealing with a wet noodle and vibrating my pussy into oblivion and not coming.

I dont know what's worst... getting all turned on and not cumming or not having sex in the first place.

greensquare · Oct 14, 2026

Find a better man. If I came too quick I'd wait till I was ready again and last longer which ladies enjoyed. Or I'd do other things to help get her off. You seem to be with a very selfish man.

massman · Oct 15, 2026

Sex / physical intimacy is a basic human need. Therefore if one partner in a marriage no longer wants sex, they have that right, it’s their body. However if the expectation is ongoing monogamy from the other partner, that is not right. They then have unilaterally decided that their partner’s sex life is over, and that isn’t ok. If one person no longer wants sex in the relationship, they should give the other partner the freedom of seeking options elsewhere, or offer them a clean and painless exit from the relationship.

While most people are aware that most traditional wedding vows include a promise of fidelity, (forsaking all others), it is less well appreciated that this is accompanied by a promise of “keeping unto them” and “to have and to hold” as well. Unilaterally denying that is a violation of the marriage contract as much as cheating.

breeziebaby · Oct 15, 2026

@massman i couldn’t have said it better myself, while i personally don’t need to know if you’re married or not - very few people have come to see me and said their wife knows what they’re doing

it’s really refreshing when that happens because it means honest conversations were had, an agreement was made and “happy spouse, happy house” is in effect

onomatopoeia · Oct 15, 2026

massman said:
Sex / physical intimacy is a basic human need. ...

I have to disagree with you on that. Your statement IS true for almost all men, but not for all men, and it's not true for many women.

Examples of men who don't require sex/ intimacy: Any hermit or a 'hoodoo guru' sitting on the top of a mountain in a Bizarro comic strip panel

an inmate in solitary confinement, a person with a phobia associated with germs, a member of the Catholic clergy who is not a pedophile, perhaps a scientist who's entire waking life is devoted to work, or any of the hundreds of current or former members of TERB who only have sex with 'Rosey Palmer and her five sisters '.

Of course these are extreme examples, but that's how classical logic works; the needs are common and normal, but they are not universal.

I am in agreement with you that the need for physical intimacy applies to most women, with few exceptions, (One being devout nuns), but it doesn't apply to sex. There are many married women with children who see themselves only as mothers. In most, but not all cases, they needed to engage in one or more acts of procreative sex to achieve motherhood. When they feel no need to give birth to additional children, their interest in engaging in additional sexual acts for personal enjoyment can diminish or evaporate completely. That seems to have been the case in many of the sexless marriage anecdotes in this thread.

onomatopoeia · Oct 15, 2026

SinnamonFairbanks said:
I dont know if im in a sexless marriage. We have sex... but he cums too fast and the fun is over. Im left dealing with a wet noodle and vibrating my pussy into oblivion and not coming.

I dont know what's worst... getting all turned on and not cumming or not having sex in the first place.

Since your profession is Escort, you can't necessarily expect to receive much sympathy from guys on an Escort Review Board when you lament about the lack of sex you're receiving within marriage.

Sexless marriage

Bzzzzz.......Doink

Active member

hear it cums!

Bzzzzz.......Doink

hear it cums!

Bzzzzz.......Doink

hear it cums!

Active member

hear it cums!

Active member

Active member

Bzzzzz.......Doink

Well-known member

Lotsa things to think about

COBOURG

Well-known member

Well-known member

the mind is the sexiest organ of all

Bzzzzz.......Doink

Bzzzzz.......Doink