Kevin Spacey delivers this beautiful monologue in a flat unemotional voice. It is intentionally unemotional. As he is now dead, it is the voice of a man who has finished his journey and found a strange, quiet beauty in it all.
At first I thought it was a bad reading that was phoned in but it is a brave reading as it gives something the viewer does not expect
The monologue is one of hollywood's great literary moments
original monologue
I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars…… And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street…..Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper….. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird….. And Janie…. and Janie….. And Carolyn……. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry. You will someday”
my version
I had always heard that your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, it does not flash, it settles like a frozen ocean of time stretching into forever.
Things are remarkably clear when you are floating under the ice. I realize my life is borrowed and now something wants it back. I keep thinking of all the beauty in the world and it calms me.
For me, it was lying on my back watching the falling stars… the cicadas singing because they must, in the only place they can possibly be…the yellow leaves tumbling from the maple trees, caught in wind’s vortexes that turned them into little tornadoes… or my grandmother’s hands and the way her skin felt like paper…and the first time I fell in love and how we held each other forever.
Sometimes I feel like I am breathing it all in at once, and it is too much. I feel like the ice is about to burst, and then I remember to release. To let it all go. Then it pours through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my borrowed life.
The rain is why I am telling you all this. That rain is real. It pours through everything. It is pouring through you right now. It pours into the ocean of time, waiting forever. Waiting for you. I just thought you might want to know.
You have no idea what I am talking about, I am sure. But don’t worry. You will.
Someday.