I went to the gym to show these kids who’s the boss
With plates upon the bar, these teens will soon feel small
I thought, “A few more plates, what could they cost?”
Oops, my elbow went POP! and dammit that wasn't all
Then came my knee with one tremendous crack
I collapsed and yelled, “Fuck me! That was a tonne!”
I knew there was no turning the clock back
Crawled off to Reveal around the corner for my workout was done
One woman free, and Vesper was her name
I heard she’s fun and sensual and deserves her fame
I washed my hands and headed down the hall,
Money on the table, then Vesper sauntered in with lovely grace
With long, lovely, dark hair and remarkable pair of...eyes that said it all
I thought, “Well, this is certainly my lucky place!”
I vaulted upon the table, screamed in pain, trying to look serene
Though secretly my expectations climbed as well
The beauty smiled and said, “Relax” or something something so it seemed
And suddenly my worries I no longer dwell (ed)
She worked my elbow then pop! the pain was gone
My twisted knee surrendered to her lovely hands & art
She kneaded every muscle and worked right on
Oh please god, I hope she didn't hear me fart
Across my back her magic fingers flew,
She found each knot and gave that knot its due
A little pull, a squeeze, a stretch or two
I thought, “Tabernac! This woman knows what to do!”
On the flip came my chest, I must admit I grinned
For who knew a chest massage could feel so fine
She worked those muscles, making it hard to hold my wind
But this burning hot chick is going to be a friend of mine.
And then, just when I thought I'd had it all
She turned her attention to my ear, new to me
Her fingers worked their magic, me crunching like a ball
I mean, this really, really is a sort of weird, messed up GFE
Ahhhh, but how divine it felt, so simpatico, that rhythmic little touch
Back and forth, my ear practically began to sing
I never knew an ear could feel so much
I screeched, “My goodness, Vesper, you’re the Queen!
Of talents, oh yes, more fun there's never been"
The rhythm was sublime, the pressure just right
My battered body floated somewhere near the sky
Her hand, like a touch from Mother Nature, both divine & delight,
Next time I may deliberately hurt myself and won't be shy
But sadly every good massage must end
The magic hour vanished much too soon
I left restored, relaxed, and quite content
And practically floated out, just before noon
Now when I lift, I’m careful with my load
No more “just one more plate” to prove my might
BUT should I feel - or want - another muscle explode
I know exactly who will set it back just right
So if you see me jerking and snatching with a grin
Beating all these broccoli-heads that need a-teachin'
If my ears feel that needing or my elbow pops again
You can bet that it's Vesper that I'll soon be a-reachin'!
With plates upon the bar, these teens will soon feel small
I thought, “A few more plates, what could they cost?”
Oops, my elbow went POP! and dammit that wasn't all
Then came my knee with one tremendous crack
I collapsed and yelled, “Fuck me! That was a tonne!”
I knew there was no turning the clock back
Crawled off to Reveal around the corner for my workout was done
One woman free, and Vesper was her name
I heard she’s fun and sensual and deserves her fame
I washed my hands and headed down the hall,
Money on the table, then Vesper sauntered in with lovely grace
With long, lovely, dark hair and remarkable pair of...eyes that said it all
I thought, “Well, this is certainly my lucky place!”
I vaulted upon the table, screamed in pain, trying to look serene
Though secretly my expectations climbed as well
The beauty smiled and said, “Relax” or something something so it seemed
And suddenly my worries I no longer dwell (ed)
She worked my elbow then pop! the pain was gone
My twisted knee surrendered to her lovely hands & art
She kneaded every muscle and worked right on
Oh please god, I hope she didn't hear me fart
Across my back her magic fingers flew,
She found each knot and gave that knot its due
A little pull, a squeeze, a stretch or two
I thought, “Tabernac! This woman knows what to do!”
On the flip came my chest, I must admit I grinned
For who knew a chest massage could feel so fine
She worked those muscles, making it hard to hold my wind
But this burning hot chick is going to be a friend of mine.
And then, just when I thought I'd had it all
She turned her attention to my ear, new to me
Her fingers worked their magic, me crunching like a ball
I mean, this really, really is a sort of weird, messed up GFE
Ahhhh, but how divine it felt, so simpatico, that rhythmic little touch
Back and forth, my ear practically began to sing
I never knew an ear could feel so much
I screeched, “My goodness, Vesper, you’re the Queen!
Of talents, oh yes, more fun there's never been"
The rhythm was sublime, the pressure just right
My battered body floated somewhere near the sky
Her hand, like a touch from Mother Nature, both divine & delight,
Next time I may deliberately hurt myself and won't be shy
But sadly every good massage must end
The magic hour vanished much too soon
I left restored, relaxed, and quite content
And practically floated out, just before noon
Now when I lift, I’m careful with my load
No more “just one more plate” to prove my might
BUT should I feel - or want - another muscle explode
I know exactly who will set it back just right
So if you see me jerking and snatching with a grin
Beating all these broccoli-heads that need a-teachin'
If my ears feel that needing or my elbow pops again
You can bet that it's Vesper that I'll soon be a-reachin'!
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… going to be harder and harder to get my weekly massage, but I guess we should give credit where credit is due and since she is by far my favourite, I had to make a return to Reveal this weekend to pay her a visit as I hadn’t seen her in a minute. Along with one of the best massages (she’s small but can really dig in on those knots), the conversation and overall vibe makes things super comfortable and relaxing. I’m such a sucker for a gorgeous goth girl that can melt the stress of the week away. The new lounge definitely fits her aesthetic and personality.