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Booking fiasco - bit of a rant

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Sensual Monst

Member
Dec 13, 2011
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So I booked a massage with an independent provider this week and below is brief summary of the booking interaction.
There was more texting on details of the appointment and location all of which was very pleasant on both our parts- no issues at all and everything was polite and cordial.
I've summarized the bits relevant to this post. The time are approx.
Tue 3pm / Me - ...are you avail on Thu at 1pm for a 90min massage?​
Tue 3pm / Her - sure - let's confirm the day before​
Wed 10am / Me - confirming tomorrow for 1pm for 90min​
Wed 10am / Her - thank you - see you tomorrow at 1pm​
Wed 12pm / Me - thanks - I'll text on arrival for the apt #​
Thu 11:40 / Her - are we still good for 1pm?​
Thu 12:55 / Me - yes, sorry, I'm here now​
Thu 1pm / Her - too late, I booked someone else since i didn't hear back​
Thu 1pm / Me - but i confirmed on Tue and Wed​
Thu 1pm / Her - I sent a conf message. No response. You didn't answer.​

Due to my work, I'm not always in a position to answer and respond to texts in real time. In my estimation I had a confirmeed appt and a) as requested, I confirmed the day before; b) I advised I would text on arival (which I did). At no point was I asked to confirm the day or morning of (or I would have).

I fully appreciate that I did not respond to the 11:40 text as I was unable to, and part of me understands that the provider got antsy as there was no response to her text at 11:40 so I see her side, but TBH, I was upset as I followed her requirements (confirm the day before) and told her I'd text on arrival. Also her response was "too late - I didn't hear back". No apology, just my fault for not responding.

So this is a bit of a rant, but I'm curious - was this my fault?
No right answer, but thanks for letting me vent.
 
X

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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- Some people can't run their own business.
- Didn't read her own or the chat you had between each other.
- Another client offered more money - WHICH I doubt it.
- Power trip.
 
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LTO_3

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Aug 27, 2004
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Niagara Region
One of those yes but no concerns. Yes you confirmed on Wed for Thursday BUT sending or mentioning on Wed that you will confirm again on Thursday morning at, say 10 or 11am may have prevented this. And yes, she's at fault too for not mentioning that you needed to confirm on Thursday morning IF that's what she required but didn't/forgot to mention.

LTO_3
 
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greensquare

Active member
Aug 23, 2026
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She's at fault for saying the day before to confirm next day which you did. I realize she sent a text the day off mins before you came and she wanted to make sure you were still coming because guys do ghost or these ladies deal with scams/time wasters, but meh.

That's the issue with some indy providers you book a timeslot the day before, but the day off some panic and want a confirmation again because I guess in the past they've had their time wasted. At the end of the day some run their business like that. Many are also forgetful or clients can be too. I always confirm an hour or two before my appt the day off even if they didn't mention it. If I don't hear back I don't head out.
 
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S

shakenbake

Senior Turgid Member
Nov 13, 2003
8,573
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Durham Region, Den of Iniquity
www.vafanculo.it
Sensual Monst said:
So I booked a massage with an independent provider this week and below is brief summary of the booking interaction.
There was more texting on details of the appointment and location all of which was very pleasant on both our parts- no issues at all and everything was polite and cordial.
I've summarized the bits relevant to this post. The time are approx.
Tue 3pm / Me - ...are you avail on Thu at 1pm for a 90min massage?​
Tue 3pm / Her - sure - let's confirm the day before​
Wed 10am / Me - confirming tomorrow for 1pm for 90min​
Wed 10am / Her - thank you - see you tomorrow at 1pm​
Wed 12pm / Me - thanks - I'll text on arrival for the apt #​
Thu 11:40 / Her - are we still good for 1pm?​
Thu 12:55 / Me - yes, sorry, I'm here now​
Thu 1pm / Her - too late, I booked someone else since i didn't hear back​
Thu 1pm / Me - but i confirmed on Tue and Wed​
Thu 1pm / Her - I sent a conf message. No response. You didn't answer.​

Due to my work, I'm not always in a position to answer and respond to texts in real time. In my estimation I had a confirmeed appt and a) as requested, I confirmed the day before; b) I advised I would text on arival (which I did). At no point was I asked to confirm the day or morning of (or I would have).

I fully appreciate that I did not respond to the 11:40 text as I was unable to, and part of me understands that the provider got antsy as there was no response to her text at 11:40 so I see her side, but TBH, I was upset as I followed her requirements (confirm the day before) and told her I'd text on arrival. Also her response was "too late - I didn't hear back". No apology, just my fault for not responding.

So this is a bit of a rant, but I'm curious - was this my fault?
No right answer, but thanks for letting me vent.
Click to expand...
Not your fault. Don’t assume fault.
 
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jdeck

Well-known member
Mar 16, 2019
592
726
93
Both of you were at fault. It isn't reasonable to confirm the day before and then just text 5 minutes before your appointment time without a deposit. Put yourself in her shoes for one second. BUT, she totally missed asking you to text her by a specific time on the appt day. So she set the appointment up to fail. You both did, hence the outcome. So 50/50 is my judgment 😀.
 
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R

Ryan_Coke

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2024
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LTO_3 said:
One of those yes but no concerns. Yes you confirmed on Wed for Thursday BUT sending or mentioning on Wed that you will confirm again on Thursday morning at, say 10 or 11am may have prevented this. And yes, she's at fault too for not mentioning that you needed to confirm on Thursday morning IF that's what she required but didn't/forgot to mention.

LTO_3
Click to expand...
I don't know why you say "yes but no" when he asked if this was his fault. The answer is no it's not his fault. Maybe he could have taken more proactive steps to prevent this, but it's not in any way his fault for following her instructions as she laid them out.
 
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greensquare

Active member
Aug 23, 2026
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She did have the option to text him a hour or two before 1pm the day off. Most aren't that well organized and on top of things. If someone texts me mins before I arrive and I'm driving I don't typically check my texts and very rarely reply back when driving.
 
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X

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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La la land
New Rule for Seeing a SP.

Confirm the day the DATE is set time/day.
Confirm the day 2 days and 1 day before.
Confirm at 800 AM day of appointment, even if appt is at 800 PM.
Confirm an hour before, if not driving.
Confirm at 15 - 10 - 5 mins before appointment.

This way you cover your ass.

Do we all agree on this as clients?
 
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drlove

Ph.D. in Pussyology
Oct 14, 2001
4,889
315
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The doctor is in
This is more common than you think, as it happens IRL as well. I remember one time, I’d arranged a date with a civi. I texted her the day before to ensure we were still on for the following afternoon. She replied something like: Yes, see you then, to which I replied Great, looking forward to it!

Anyway, i was just getting ready to head out to meet her when she texted me that she was cancelling the date. When I asked why, she said it was because she hadn't heard from me that day, and assumed I wasnt coming so she made other plans. When I reminded her that we’d already confirmed the previous day, she got defensive on me. Technically, if she wasn’t sure she could have reached out herself. I figured she wasn’t really all that interested to begin with, so I just let it go and moved on.
 
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xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
5,844
2,551
113
La la land
drlove said:
This is more common than you think, as it happens IRL as well. I remember one time, I’d arranged a date with a civi. I texted her the day before to ensure we were still on for the following afternoon. She replied something like: Yes, see you then, to which I replied Great, looking forward to it!

Anyway, i was just getting ready to head out to meet her when she texted me that she was cancelling the date. When I asked why, she said it was because she hadn't heard from me that day, and assumed I wasnt coming so she made other plans. When I reminded her that we’d already confirmed the previous day, she got defensive on me. Technically, if she wasn’t sure she could have reached out herself. I figured she wasn’t really all that interested to begin with, so I just let it go and moved on.
Click to expand...
I read what you posted last night. Now I am reading it again. Then I started to think and deep soul search. You made the right move.

Here is why..
- she could have been playing a game with you like those TikTok challenges for dates
- maybe she is/was a SW and she simply was on autopilot
- maybe another date called her (booty call friend) and she was looking for a way out.
- maybe something came up and wanted to cancel.
- perhaps she found you linkedin or any social media and said nooooo.
 
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