How can I ever go back and accept a normal life supporting an ugly wife?
Why would you
want to go back to that? I’d advise you to
not accept that sort of normal life.
Endurance2024 and Newguy2201 are advocating for traditional girlfriends and marriage because those sorts of relationships give you a good friend who’s “got your back”.
That doesn’t convince me. I’ve got amazing friends who I’m not married to and I’m not having sex with. The idea that you need to marry someone or have a girlfriend in order to have a friend just seems silly to me. Endurance2024 and Newguy2201, if you’re each able to say that your wife is your best friend, that’s great — I’m happy for you. A lot of marriages don’t work out that way. There are innumerable TERB threads about marriages that went bad. Marriage is a gamble. Is the gamble worth it?
In advocating for marriage, Endurance2024 implies that hot sex is a good reason to get married. (And, presumably in acknowledgement of Keyakizaka46fan’s claim that he would have to marry an ugly woman, Endurance2024 implies that sex with an unattractive woman can still be hot.) Right, as if you can predict at the beginning of a marriage whether or not the sex will still be hot ten years into the marriage. There are plenty of couples who started out having hot sex but who, ten years into their marriage, barely ever have sex. Again, marriage is a gamble. Endurance2024, if you’re having hot sex with your wife, I am sincerely happy for you. But don’t come on here telling other guys that
that is the reason to get married. It worked out for you — congratulations! It doesn’t work out for everyone.
Keyakizaka46fan, you can have an enjoyable life without getting married. Lots of people do. The disturbing part of your post to me was where you wrote that you’ve lost the motivation to improve your career and your social skills.
Carrer:
If you’re not going to get married, if you’re going to satisfy your sexual needs by seeing escorts, then you’re going to need money. Do not ignore this aspect of life. Having sex with beautiful escorts should be a motivation to build a career so that you can pay those escorts. Make
THAT your motivation.
Social skills:
If you’re not getting married, you will need friends. A life spent at home, alone, watching television and playing video games is not a life worth living, even if you do occasionally see escorts. Escorts are great — I love ‘em — but they shouldn’t be your whole social life. Whether you get married or not, interaction with people who genuinely care about you is important. If necessary,
FORCE YOURSELF to cultivate friendships. Perhaps re-establish old ones or develop new ones. I’m not sure what your motivation should be — well, I do know. Butler1000 was right about this — you’ve got to do this for
your sake.
I’ll admit, when I was young and going out socially to parties or whatever, my main motivation was
“I might
meet someone”, as in, someone who might become a girlfriend and potentially a wife. But along the way, I met all of these other great people who didn’t become girlfriends or wives but instead became “just” friends — friends who are still important to me today, decades later. If I hadn’t had that motivation to meet potential girlfriends/wives, I might not have met all of the terrific people who are still friends now. So I understand where you're coming from and how losing your interest in meeting potential girlfriend/wives could mess with your desire to socialize. All I can say is, go out regardless — socialize regardless. In the long run, it’s worth it.
