I just realized, a client can't shine amongst the other clients and "win over an escort", because an escort can get that in her civilian life too

Escort are not a dating pool full of women waiting to be swept away. One should never navigate this relationship with ulterior motives other than sharing a good time and creating memories. Friendship do happens but I am hired to entertain you with no strings attached and I respect that.

Those blanket statements about how we deal with emotional connection might be true for some but I feel like they are a projection of your own feeling towards yourself and your own frustration facing rejection based on you dating at the wrong place under the rules you guys established.

I would add that not every women value the idea of being in a relationship with a men and what comes with it and that is why we are doing this job. And this perception of relationship is valid too

kyle 12 said:

My butcher sometimes throws in a few free sausages after a huge order lol

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So you want your escort to give you the saus-eege! that's an extra!

I think what every person desires is to be seen.

I think that when it comes to dating people you've met through escorting... men don't know how to deal with the real person behind the carefully curated persona.

Everything is marketing. I have to suppress every natural urge and instinct in my body in order to do this job.

When people hurt me or lie to me , I want to tell them exactly how I feel.

I know that they are not looking for consequences they are looking for validation.

They are looking for the woman that's going to believe their lies because no one else does.

They are looking for the woman that's going to make them feel like a stud even though they are the worst sex anyone has ever had.

What really sets clients apart for me and makes me want to see them off the clock is the fact that they see me for who I am , and they don't expect me to pretend to be someone else or perform for them all the time.
They see me and accept me for who I am , and they have no expectations of me to perform or be a certain person or a certain way.

They also don't only call me when they need me for something

They generally offer me some type of service or arrangement or some kind of offer that would be crazy to turn down.

They are not paying me money but they are offering me something in exchange for getting to know them so that it feels like it is mutually beneficial.

When I see someone traditionally attractive... Especially in the context of them having to pay for sex.I know that there is probably something very wrong with them. They are probably very self absorbed and conceited. They are probably liars and cheaters , and I would never want to get involved with them.

Hygiene is important but

I don't think designer clothes and fancy clothes are a measurement of wealth. Some of the wealthiest people I know , don't own designer anything and have the same shirts they've had for twenty years. They shop at department stores and walmart. They don't own a fancy suit or expensive shoes.

I don't really care what someone looks like, or what job they have or what car they drive and how big their house is as long as I know the person is a good person and they see me as a human being and for who i am as the person standing in front of them. They don't assume things about me. They dont assume I am a stereotype

Sometimes i'm haunted by this one client that I used to have.

I pulled up to this house in the country and it was essentially a mansion. Big , beautiful house that most of us would love to have but can only dream about. The guy was handsome. Expensive everything. They had money and everything I thought I always wanted...but then I saw the pictures on the walls. The wedding photos. The "Happy" wife at her perfect wedding while her husband brings prostitutes in her house and in her bed. I honestly thank god every day that I was never that stupid that married some asshole like that.

I went into a lot of homes like that over the years. Dream houses, dream cars, dream weddings, all the fancy toys... but the husband fucks prostitutes on the wife's side of the bed while shes at work or visiting sick family or caring for the kids and I am so grateful every day that that is NOT me.

And I guess i'm saying all this because...

Sure people can be attractive...
They can have money...
They can have the right job...
Come from the right family...
They can have fancy clothes...
They can say all of the right things...

But they're not good people and they don't care about anyone except themselves and generally , the warning we are given is to stay away from men that see prostitutes. Even prostitutes are told to not associate with these men outside of paid hours because they're awful.

I mean for gods sake, I was getting Dms from a guy that was essentially telling me he was so attractive that it was his right to cheat on his escort that he was trying to date and expose her to diseases. He thought it was his right to do this solely based on the fact that he thinks that he is attractive and that he makes a lot of money. I don't think he really does but in his mind he's hot and rich so he can do whatever he wants.

This is the mentality that keeps women from even trying to make a connection with people , and I feel like the level of narcissism and entitlement is much stronger in the types of people that see prostitutes.

reviewer_person said:

Many clients, even me, have / had this idea that if we put on our best face, show up in our best clothes, make wonderful conversation, give affection and cuddles, give good sex etc - that we would shine amongst the other clients.

The idea that we would be "that one client" who is on the escort's mind as soon as we leave. The idea that she would light up at our text. The idea that one day, the inevitable will occur, where she tells her star client (which we aspire to be); "Hey, I really like you. I don't feel right taking money from you anymore. Come here love", as her and the star client embrace each other with love.

I just realized that none of this would happen. There's no reserved spot for that one special and one-in-a-million client, that any client can reach. That spot probably doesn't even exist.

Everything a client does to reach that top spot can be given to an escort just in her personal life. An escort's struggle is not "having to go through 1000s of clients to find the one". Nor is this the only way she can meet men.

She can just making a dating app profile. And she will get the same amount of attention.

These days there doesn't even seem to be a need to balance pros and cons related to dating before becoming an escort. Whether a woman is an escort or not, she will still get virtually the same amount of attention on a dating app. It's actually a net positive for a woman to become an escort.

Click to expand...

Why would you be haunted by that one client when probably 3/4 of your clients are married?

SinnamonFairbanks said:

I think what every person desires is to be seen.

I think that when it comes to dating people you've met through escorting... men don't know how to deal with the real person behind the carefully curated persona.

Everything is marketing. I have to suppress every natural urge and instinct in my body in order to do this job.

When people hurt me or lie to me , I want to tell them exactly how I feel.

I know that they are not looking for consequences they are looking for validation.

They are looking for the woman that's going to believe their lies because no one else does.

They are looking for the woman that's going to make them feel like a stud even though they are the worst sex anyone has ever had.

What really sets clients apart for me and makes me want to see them off the clock is the fact that they see me for who I am , and they don't expect me to pretend to be someone else or perform for them all the time.
They see me and accept me for who I am , and they have no expectations of me to perform or be a certain person or a certain way.

They also don't only call me when they need me for something

They generally offer me some type of service or arrangement or some kind of offer that would be crazy to turn down.

They are not paying me money but they are offering me something in exchange for getting to know them so that it feels like it is mutually beneficial.

When I see someone traditionally attractive... Especially in the context of them having to pay for sex.I know that there is probably something very wrong with them. They are probably very self absorbed and conceited. They are probably liars and cheaters , and I would never want to get involved with them.

Hygiene is important but

I don't think designer clothes and fancy clothes are a measurement of wealth. Some of the wealthiest people I know , don't own designer anything and have the same shirts they've had for twenty years. They shop at department stores and walmart. They don't own a fancy suit or expensive shoes.

I don't really care what someone looks like, or what job they have or what car they drive and how big their house is as long as I know the person is a good person and they see me as a human being and for who i am as the person standing in front of them. They don't assume things about me. They dont assume I am a stereotype

Sometimes i'm haunted by this one client that I used to have.

I pulled up to this house in the country and it was essentially a mansion. Big , beautiful house that most of us would love to have but can only dream about. The guy was handsome. Expensive everything. They had money and everything I thought I always wanted...but then I saw the pictures on the walls. The wedding photos. The "Happy" wife at her perfect wedding while her husband brings prostitutes in her house and in her bed. I honestly thank god every day that I was never that stupid that married some asshole like that.

I went into a lot of homes like that over the years. Dream houses, dream cars, dream weddings, all the fancy toys... but the husband fucks prostitutes on the wife's side of the bed while shes at work or visiting sick family or caring for the kids and I am so grateful every day that that is NOT me.

And I guess i'm saying all this because...

Sure people can be attractive...
They can have money...
They can have the right job...
Come from the right family...
They can have fancy clothes...
They can say all of the right things...

But they're not good people and they don't care about anyone except themselves and generally , the warning we are given is to stay away from men that see prostitutes. Even prostitutes are told to not associate with these men outside of paid hours because they're awful.

I mean for gods sake, I was getting Dms from a guy that was essentially telling me he was so attractive that it was his right to cheat on his escort that he was trying to date and expose her to diseases. He thought it was his right to do this solely based on the fact that he thinks that he is attractive and that he makes a lot of money. I don't think he really does but in his mind he's hot and rich so he can do whatever he wants.

This is the mentality that keeps women from even trying to make a connection with people , and I feel like the level of narcissism and entitlement is much stronger in the types of people that see prostitutes.

Click to expand...

Sinammon, thank you for your thoughtful, detailed insightful and personal post. When members (SP or client or agency) take the time to contribute as you did above, it makes this site better for everyone.

Question, when you visited the wealthy fake happily married people you referred to in your post, were the sessions what some would categorize as standard sex OR did they involve aspects slightly outside the general spectrum of standard sex (eg domination, non-generic role play, etc). Asking in order to better understand a few parts of post above and to see if your experiences align with my perceptions of many of my wealthy fake happy clients.

Obviously “standard” or non-generic are highly subjective terms and are a function of one’s experiences which can vary widely - so let’s just do our best to not get lost in the weeds of what is and isn’t standard.

reviewer_person said:

But if escorts can care about their clients and become their friends, why is there a solid line that stops them from dating each other? I don't get it? The line feels imposed, imposed by the escort. Obviously escorts can date whoever they want, but what is so bad about a client that they can't date one? People date people in the workplace all the time. It's actually quite expected.

Click to expand...

1. If the escort wants a monogamous relationship, she can certainly fear he is going to cheat. He will see other escorts just like her.

2. He may be jealous and want her to quit her job before she is ready or he wants to know all the details of every client because he gets off on it.

3. He wants sex all the time and thinks she will give it up all the time. Hint: She sucked and fucked 3 - 5 times that day, maybe more even. She doesn’t want your dick too. She wants to eat and go to bed.

4. Men get mad when they see the real woman, not the ego catering escort they fell for.

5. He expects her to quit but pay her half. Or expects her to keep working, while he bitches, because he wants heto keep paying for everything.

Here are just 5 examples of why we keep a hardline. We don’t want to investigate everything client to see if he would not do any of these things just to have a relationship. Better to keep it separate and look for compatibility in the real world with civie dating.

We don’t get into this line of work to meet a man. We are here to make money and hopefully enjoy some of our clients along the way.

I have personally seen too many good escort/good women, quit this job for a man just to be back, starting all over after 6 months. It is not worth it.

This doesn’t even touch all the women like me who don’t want a relationship. Why? I have male companionship and attention whenever I want. I can turn off the attention when I want too. I can certainly afford anything I want in life. I am past kids and marriage and playing house. I’m not working all day making half what I make now, just to come home and cook and clean for a man who thinks half the mortgage is enough. I know not all men are likes this but many are. They are old school and this is what mom did so their GF can do. But society has changed. So I’m not interested in a relationship at all. Hence the hard pass.

and I will add, I’m even screening clients and letting go of regulars who are not my favourites. We may have had a good time but I want the best clients that I have the best time with. So I have just had to turn down a bunch of regulars.

reviewer_person said:

You said a few interesting things. I have a few questions

1) You stated "What really sets clients apart for me and makes me want to see them off the clock is the fact that they see me for who I am , and they don't expect me to pretend to be someone else or perform for them all the time."

How can a client see you for who you are? If you have to put on a performance, how do they see past it? Do you loosen up the performance over time? Do they have to ask certain questions?


2) Could you elaborate on the below?

"When I see someone traditionally attractive... Especially in the context of them having to pay for sex.I know that there is probably something very wrong with them. They are probably very self absorbed and conceited. They are probably liars and cheaters , and I would never want to get involved with them."

Click to expand...

Dude, you're trying to get tips and learn how to lure an escort into a relationship?? Man, are you barking up the wrong tree, go to a bar, a dating app, or a social event if you want a SO.
Who knows, you might meet an escort who is off the clock and looking for the same thing. LOL

squeezer said:

Dude, you're trying to get tips and learn how to lure an escort into a relationship?? Man, are you barking up the wrong tree, go to a bar, a dating app, or a social event if you want a SO.
Who knows, you might meet an escort who is off the clock and looking for the same thing. LOL

Click to expand...

I have to admit, when I read her post last night, I imagined she was going to get that kind of reply. I wouldn't be surprised if she got a few DM's asking those same things.

Ryan_Coke said:

I have to admit, when I read her post last night, I imagined she was going to get that kind of reply. I wouldn't be surprised if she got a few DM's asking those same things.

Click to expand...

True, a lot of guys get into the hobby for the wrong reasons, and finding love is one of the wrong reasons.

Ryan_Coke said:

I have to admit, when I read her post last night, I imagined she was going to get that kind of reply. I wouldn't be surprised if she got a few DM's asking those same things.

Click to expand...

Sorry to say but this just illustrates why the OP won't get what he is after. This is a symptom of the problem and the reason for his original enquiry.

That SP created a very thoughtful post that anyone with a bit of self awareness would be able to learn from.

Instead all he heard was a shortcut to "get what he wants"

Shit, @reviewer_person , I've solved it. I found you a soul mate, my brother!!

newguy2201 said:

Sorry to say but this just illustrates why the OP won't get what he is after. This is a symptom of the problem and the reason for his original enquiry.

That SP created a very thoughtful post that anyone with a bit of self awareness would be able to learn from.

Instead all he heard was a shortcut to "get what he wants"

Click to expand...

This is it.

We should all just leave the thread

or change it.....

Who had a good long weekend? The bank stole my money in the ATM and now I have to fight with the tellers to get it back. That is fun!

Jenesis said:

1. If the escort wants a monogamous relationship, she can certainly fear he is going to cheat. He will see other escorts just like her.

2. He may be jealous and want her to quit her job before she is ready or he wants to know all the details of every client because he gets off on it.

3. He wants sex all the time and thinks she will give it up all the time. Hint: She sucked and fucked 3 - 5 times that day, maybe more even. She doesn’t want your dick too. She wants to eat and go to bed.

4. Men get mad when they see the real woman, not the ego catering escort they fell for.

5. He expects her to quit but pay her half. Or expects her to keep working, while he bitches, because he wants he to keep paying for everything.

Here are just 5 examples of why we keep a hardline. We don’t want to investigate everything client to see if he would not do any of these things just to have a relationship. Better to keep it separate and look for compatibility in the real world with civie dating.

We don’t get into this line of work to meet a man. We are here to make money and hopefully enjoy some of our clients along the way.

Click to expand...

Most of the escorts I know who dated a client encountered an issue like this.

Clients also don't show who they really are at first necessarily. I've heard of a few relationships like this that turned into actual domestic violence : the girl quit escorting for him, he offered to pay for a lot but she didn't have freedom anymore.. he starts cheating on her with escorts or other women. He becomes aggressive and controlling etc. He is no longer generous and she can't rely on him so she goes back to escorting, which gives him an excuse to abuse her more.

Jenesis said:

This is it.

We should all just leave the thread

or change it.....

Who had a good long weekend? The bank stole my money in the ATM and now I have to fight with the tellers to get it back. That is fun!

Click to expand...

I had an ok weekend lol ... In Quebec we didn't get the extra day. It rained all weekend

reviewer_person said:

You said a few interesting things. I have a few questions

1) You stated "What really sets clients apart for me and makes me want to see them off the clock is the fact that they see me for who I am , and they don't expect me to pretend to be someone else or perform for them all the time."

How can a client see you for who you are? If you have to put on a performance, how do they see past it? Do you loosen up the performance over time? Do they have to ask certain questions?


2) Could you elaborate on the below?

"When I see someone traditionally attractive... Especially in the context of them having to pay for sex.I know that there is probably something very wrong with them. They are probably very self absorbed and conceited. They are probably liars and cheaters , and I would never want to get involved with them."

Click to expand...

There are clients I appreciate for the same reasons she mentioned, as well as other reasons. Some of them I just really vibe with and enjoy my time with. But the boundary is still there. I will not see them off the clock. I know a lot of people think I'm being mean but I'm just being honest. Most escorts will not see the vast majority of their clients off the clock and it doesn't have anything to do with not appreciating them

SinnamonFairbanks said:

When I see someone traditionally attractive... Especially in the context of them having to pay for sex.I know that there is probably something very wrong with them. They are probably very self absorbed and conceited.

Click to expand...

Why would you judge them to be so?
What if they simply didn't want a relationship?

SinnamonFairbanks said:

I pulled up to this house in the country and it was essentially a mansion. Big , beautiful house that most of us would love to have but can only dream about. The guy was handsome. Expensive everything. They had money and everything I thought I always wanted...but then I saw the pictures on the walls. The wedding photos. The "Happy" wife at her perfect wedding while her husband brings prostitutes in her house and in her bed. I honestly thank god every day that I was never that stupid that married some asshole like that.

I went into a lot of homes like that over the years. Dream houses, dream cars, dream weddings, all the fancy toys... but the husband fucks prostitutes on the wife's side of the bed while shes at work or visiting sick family or caring for the kids and I am so grateful every day that that is NOT me.

Click to expand...

Why is the guy an asshole?
Being handsome and being successful doesn't mean he is happy. Doesn't mean he is unhappy either.
What if the marriage was sexless? What if the marriage was open? What if...any number of things you aren't privy to?
You are being unnecessarily judgmental about clients, while complaining that clients tend to stereotype you.
Clients do not know providers or how they are in their personal life. Providers don't either. But we don't need to.
The entire arrangement is supposed to be judgement free and fairly anonymous.

newguy2201 said:

Sorry to say but this just illustrates why the OP won't get what he is after. This is a symptom of the problem and the reason for his original enquiry.

That SP created a very thoughtful post that anyone with a bit of self awareness would be able to learn from.

Instead all he heard was a shortcut to "get what he wants"

Click to expand...

Shaquille Oatmeal said:

Why would you judge them to be so?
What if they simply didn't want a relationship?

Why is the guy an asshole?
Being handsome and being successful doesn't mean he is happy. Doesn't mean he is unhappy either.
What if the marriage was sexless? What if the marriage was open? What if...any number of things you aren't privy to?
You are being unnecessarily judgmental about clients, while complaining that clients tend to stereotype you.
Clients do not know providers or how they are in their personal life. Providers don't either. But we don't need to.
The entire arrangement is supposed to be judgement free and fairly anonymous.

Click to expand...

I agree with your post. The only caveat I have is banging the SP in the wife's bed. At least use a hotel room or an in-call. That is a balsy move. LOL

Shaquille Oatmeal said:

Why would you judge them to be so?
What if they simply didn't want a relationship?

Why is the guy an asshole?
Being handsome and being successful doesn't mean he is happy. Doesn't mean he is unhappy either.
What if the marriage was sexless? What if the marriage was open? What if...any number of things you aren't privy to?
You are being unnecessarily judgmental about clients, while complaining that clients tend to stereotype you.
Clients do not know providers or how they are in their personal life. Providers don't either. But we don't need to.
The entire arrangement is supposed to be judgement free and fairly anonymous.

Click to expand...

I agree with this, absolutely. If the client is respectful to me, I don't consider that I'm in a position to judge him.

But we do get judged by our own clients on a regular basis unfortunately. I think that's what can be unfair. Really often I'll see clients post absolutely vile things about sex workers online, not just in reviews but generally.

It goes both ways honestly.. I don't want to see clients who don't perceive me as a human being worthy of respect. Thankfully I meet a lot of men who show me that they do.

squeezer said:

I agree with your post. The only caveat I have is banging the SP in the wife's bed. At least use a hotel room or an in-call. That is a balsy move. LOL

Click to expand...

Maybe its their kink. The wife is a cuckquean. lmfao.