I just realized, a client can't shine amongst the other clients and "win over an escort", because an escort can get that in her civilian life too

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reviewer_person

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lunaseraphim said:
Once again you're completely misreading me. I never said it was unethical or a crime to date an escort. I'm just saying that power imbalances can lead to relationships failing. That's something completely different.

Your "money as energy" argument is really throwing me off honestly. Money is something you give to someone when you're paying for a service or when you're buying something.

Let me spell it out for you again. When you are paying someone for companionship, what you initially negotiated during the booking has to happen. You are paying for the escort to show you a wonderful time. If she's having a bad day, she won't show you that. She won't share things that could upset or bore you. She will be dressed a certain way. Intimacy is often guaranteed, with all the acronyms you asked for.

If you're not paying anymore, you may find out that sometimes, she is in a bad mood. You may realize there are things about her you didn't know. You may see her dressed in a completely different way. Maybe she won't always feel like being intimate.

Maybe it will bother you that she is an escort. You'll feel jealous about her experiences with other men, or upset and worried when she has bad experiences.

Maybe it's also you who will start changing around her, and she won't recognize the generous and sweet guy she met as an escort.

Before anyone asks, I'm taking this much time replying because I've had many guys book me to cry on my shoulder about escorts they thought they were dating (but were still paying). Some of them became really angry and bitter afterwards.

As an escort I feel really flattered when clients book me because they like me as a person and I'll gladly accompany them through certain things, offer warmth and compassion and listen to them. I also like to feel like I was chosen by someone because we have things in common and this person knows we'll have fun together.

But when I feel like a client may start pushing for something more, I get worried and I prefer to say the truth instead of entertaining those feelings to get more money out of him. Really often when I hear these stories, it seems to me that the escort was only doing her job and being pleasant, and the client became obsessed.

Someone said above that seeing an escort doesn't replace therapy and I agree with that person. You can't force somebody to reciprocate interest.. and I think seeing escorts to find a girlfriend is not a good idea. Once again I'm not saying it's impossible for it to happen... But I don't think that should be the goal.
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I didn't misread you. I said that "An escort and client dating in the scenario I've described is not the result of a crime / unethical action".

You can also pay for a good / service with your labor, time or another good / service. Currency doesn't need to be involved. It's not the only thing used to obtain goods / services. Hence why I believe it's just a medium for energy.
 
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DesRicardo

aka Dick Dastardly
Dec 2, 2022
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reviewer_person said:
I know, but alot of us, including me, have the hope that we can stand out. By talking to the escort, showing affection. Essentially, seeing her for who she is. I guess most escorts are too jaded to be able to connect?
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There is something going on with you mentally or emotionally. Maybe you are confused or you could have a Personality disorder, but there is something not right with you. Most men are not expecting a deep relationship with sex workers.

You are trying to cope with rejection created from a false sense of relationship. This has nothing to do with escorts being jaded.

It really does sound like you have a Personality disorder.
 
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lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

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reviewer_person said:
I didn't misread you. I said that "An escort and client dating in the scenario I've described is not the result of a crime / unethical action".

You can also pay for a good / service with your labor, time or another good / service. Currency doesn't need to be involved. It's not the only thing used to obtain goods / services. Hence why I believe it's just a medium for energy.
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I never said it was the result of a crime or unethical action...

What you're describing here is a trade, not payment.

I don't personally ask someone I'm genuinely dating to pay me or remunerated me in any way.

Genuine romantic relationships aren't transactional in my opinion. They are based on mutual exchange, having things in common, compatibility and reciprocity. If I'm taking somebody I'm dating out to eat it's not because I'm expecting them to have sex with me, and I would hope they feel the same way. I know a lot of people here will disagree, and I think that's a problem in today's society.

Escorting or being a client of escorts aren't alternative forms of dating.
 
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lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

sensual magician, dealer of dreams
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DesRicardo said:
There is something going on with you mentally or emotionally. Maybe you are confused or you could have a Personality disorder, but there is something not right with you. Most men are not expecting a deep relationship with sex workers.

You are trying to cope with rejection created from a false sense of relationship. This has nothing to do with escorts being jaded.
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I'm sad for OP personally and I hear him, I wouldn't randomly diagnose him with a disorder, but I think assuming we're jaded for having this boundary is... Well... Not fully respectful of boundaries.
 
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DesRicardo

aka Dick Dastardly
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lunaseraphim said:
I'm sad for OP personally and I hear him, I wouldn't randomly diagnose him with a disorder, but I think assuming we're jaded for having this boundary is... Well... Not fully respectful of boundaries.
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In an industry like this, never feel sad for people like the OP. They will manipulate and hurt you.

You have to look past the sad story. He is not a victim.
 
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lunaseraphim

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lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

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DesRicardo said:
In an industry like this, never feel sad for people like the OOP. They will manipulate and hurt you.

You have to look past the sad story. He is not a victim.
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Oh, I have enough experience to know all of this. I don't view him or anybody like this as a victim at all.
 
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reviewer_person

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lunaseraphim said:
I never said it was the result of a crime or unethical action...

What you're describing here is a trade, not payment.

I don't personally ask someone I'm genuinely dating to pay me or remunerated me in any way.

Genuine relationships aren't transactional in my opinion. They are based on mutual exchange, having things in common, compatibility and reciprocity. If I'm taking somebody I'm dating out to eat it's not because I'm expecting them to have sex with me, and I would hope they feel the same way. I know a lot of people here will disagree, and I think that's a problem in today's society.

Escorting or being a client of escorts aren't alternative forms of dating.
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Only I brought up the result of a crime or unethical action bit. I never said you said it. So I never misread you, since I was not referring to anything you said.

You stated "I never said it was unethical or a crime to date an escort.", but I never said that you said that. I brought it up myself, as a part of my reply

And yeah, when an escort is off the clock, why can't she and the client have a genuine relationship. How does the previous power imbalance (if any), while she is working, apply after work?
 
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reviewer_person

Member
Jul 12, 2026
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DesRicardo said:
There is something going on with you mentally or emotionally. Maybe you are confused or you could have a Personality disorder, but there is something not right with you. Most men are not expecting a deep relationship with sex workers.

You are trying to cope with rejection created from a false sense of relationship. This has nothing to do with escorts being jaded.

It really does sound like you have a Personality disorder.
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I'm just a normal guy, like any guy you'd see in public. I don't have a personality disorder. This is just one way to meet women fast. I don't need to spend time making a dating app profile etc. I can meet her immediately and then see if she likes me or not. Paying to meet let's me skip the line. If I end up liking an escort, asking her out, and then she says that she doesn't want to date me, I would respect that
 
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kyle 12

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Jul 23, 2026
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reviewer_person said:
Only I brought up the result of a crime or unethical action bit. I never said you said it. So I never misread you, since I was not referring to anything you said.

You stated "I never said it was unethical or a crime to date an escort.", but I never said that you said that. I brought it up myself, as a part of my reply

And yeah, when an escort is off the clock, why can't she and the client have a genuine relationship. How does the previous power imbalance (if any), while she is working, apply after work?
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Why would you want that anyway?
 
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Brown Nose Bear

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reviewer_person said:
I'm just a normal guy, like any guy you'd see in public. I don't have a personality disorder. This is just one way to meet women fast. I don't need to spend time making a dating app profile etc. I can meet her immediately and then see if she likes me or not. Paying to meet let's me skip the line. If I end up liking an escort, asking her out, and then she says that she doesn't want to date me, I would respect that
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If you're not trolling then you're delusional. Seeing escorts is not a shortcut for dating, it's a shortcut for NSA sex. You can't see if she actually likes you by doing this, it's her job to act like she likes you. There's so much more I could say, but I'm pretty sure you're a troll so I'm not wasting my time.
 
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Giselle Montreal

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reviewer_person said:
If I end up liking an escort, asking her out, and then she says that she doesn't want to date me, I would respect that
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Of course, love can be found anywhere. You should try asking them out; if you ask enough of them, you'll eventually receive a yes. But in the end, it won't be different than "in real life" (because it's real life too), it's not everyday we meet someone we are genuinely interested in.
 
lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

sensual magician, dealer of dreams
Supporting Member
Jun 8, 2025
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reviewer_person said:
Only I brought up the result of a crime or unethical action bit. I never said you said it. So I never misread you, since I was not referring to anything you said.

You stated "I never said it was unethical or a crime to date an escort.", but I never said that you said that. I brought it up myself, as a part of my reply

And yeah, when an escort is off the clock, why can't she and the client have a genuine relationship. How does the previous power imbalance (if any), while she is working, apply after work?
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You're not really reading my comments. What I'm saying is that reality will hit hard. Also this is assuming that the escort accepts to hang out with you without any compensation and is willing to genuinely date you.

When clients ask me to hang out off the clock, I say no. I've decided to become friends with certain clients before, but it was on my own terms, and something I'm not willing to do anymore, due to certain concerns and experiences.
 
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