If a woman likes you it takes a lot to change her mind, so do not worry about small mistakes, just go for it if you are interested as well
Most suprising time you found out someone was interested in you
- Thread starter Mandala
- Start date
Paying for intimacy is a very honest dynamic. However, if I'm in a relationship, I want her to be with me because she wants me emotionally and physically - not financially, at all
Could you elaborate on the "Being provided for is an emotional need for some women"
Also, I don't have a super high sex drive. And women also want sex too. It's sad that we men are rarely chased for sex by a woman.
Also about Reddit; isn't Reddit skewed towards radical feminist women who are chronically invested in the gender war social media promotes? Reddit women are usually very aggressive radical "feminists"
The reddit part was pointing to a subreddit for sex workers where you can get some insight into how they really feel about us. Of course it's important not to say they ALL feel that way about us, and a lot of their scorn is well deserved.
I can't really elaborate on women's need to be cared for and pursued. I'm not an expert, but I read a lot and it goes something like women take a lot more risk in relationships, scorn, unwanted pregnancy, being abused, abandoned etc.
So at the outset of a relationship especially, they are looking for someone who will put in effort to show they care for them, in the hopes that that will mean they will continue to put in effort later when kids and housework are involved
It's monkey brain stuff, just like how we men have needs, they have needs too.
The fact that women rarely chase men is just the way it is. We have the higher sex drive, and most women who are even remotely attractive can pretty much get sex any time they want (without paying for it).
So it makes sense that we would be the ones that have to put in the effort to attract a mate.
I could also say that Reddit is skewed towards blackpill/red pill incel types. We can all generalize and there is an element of truth to most generalization.
It has happened in my job.
I meet a lot of secretaries and help them get the border papers ready as I have become an expert in spotting the red flags that will delay the load
Anyways, not that long before I quit driving, there was a striking blond I was dealing with
One day, the older secretary indirectly and casually mentioned that the blond was interested in me
Then, when I was in the cafeteria going over the paperwork she just "happened" to come in and smile at me
It was a setup as they must have talked about me when I was gone and I am always careful to be polite so she decided to like me and the older secretary helped her out.
Consider the female's POV as they feel they need to let the guy know of interest and that makes them vulnerable.
In this case she got help from her friend as a "wing girl" which is common.
Her job is to break the ice then leave the scene.
I have been a wing guy by starting a convo then building him up
She will read the dynamics quickly and understand what you are doing
Being a long distance driver is not glamorous, but she must of seen me as someone who knows how to work long hard hours, handle responsibility and makes good $$$$, found me attrctive and I was a nice safe guy and she was available
I meet a lot of secretaries and help them get the border papers ready as I have become an expert in spotting the red flags that will delay the load
Anyways, not that long before I quit driving, there was a striking blond I was dealing with
One day, the older secretary indirectly and casually mentioned that the blond was interested in me
Then, when I was in the cafeteria going over the paperwork she just "happened" to come in and smile at me
It was a setup as they must have talked about me when I was gone and I am always careful to be polite so she decided to like me and the older secretary helped her out.
Consider the female's POV as they feel they need to let the guy know of interest and that makes them vulnerable.
In this case she got help from her friend as a "wing girl" which is common.
Her job is to break the ice then leave the scene.
I have been a wing guy by starting a convo then building him up
She will read the dynamics quickly and understand what you are doing
Being a long distance driver is not glamorous, but she must of seen me as someone who knows how to work long hard hours, handle responsibility and makes good $$$$, found me attrctive and I was a nice safe guy and she was available
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Oh come on you left me hanging like those silly short videos on youtube or tiktok. What the heck dude?
Did you take her on a long haul?
Like really? Anyway you story is not uncommon as I have seen it and experience it. I ran for the mountains. I like my peace.
Give me your take on this scenario
I joined a gym. I noticed a cute female who was very outgoing
She seemed to deliberatly ignore me so I felt guilty that had intruded even if it was just an admiring glance.
One day I was doing flies, that is where you spread your arms to work the chest, when she sat on the machine next to me and did started doing flies. I was surprised when I noticed she had no bra on and was doing the Jenifer Aniston thing
This was my opening from her to introduce myself.
If I hesitate too long she will wonder what is the matter with her, or with me, then the window is starting to close rapidly
I joined a gym. I noticed a cute female who was very outgoing
She seemed to deliberatly ignore me so I felt guilty that had intruded even if it was just an admiring glance.
One day I was doing flies, that is where you spread your arms to work the chest, when she sat on the machine next to me and did started doing flies. I was surprised when I noticed she had no bra on and was doing the Jenifer Aniston thing
This was my opening from her to introduce myself.
If I hesitate too long she will wonder what is the matter with her, or with me, then the window is starting to close rapidly
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I don't know what you are thinking.
But I am going to set your brain straight.First she did some Seance on me. Big mistake, I figure it out, I discovered she is a narcissist. So Directly I told her I make woman pay their share or my also. Also I told her she doesn't meet my check boxes. No cosmetics, Straight ( she is bi but hid it well ), and she kept going on how you treat a woman who is rich from a rich town. I told her I am poor guy from a poor town of the wrong side of the tracks. Do you think she listened? - NO
So I ran for the mountains and she chased me. Damn this was like "Fatal Attraction; Obsession; and Promising Young Woman " and I didn't even touch her at once. I was talking to another lady who was bi and she went after her out of jealousy. So it took a lot of strength for me to ran from her.
I need to work out.
I am asking everyone.
Just putting a scenario out there, that actually happened, for discussion,
Also, I inferred you were totally insensitive to a female who was putting herself on the line to you when you were not
This is the difficult scenario that we are not discussing. What to do when she chases you but you are not interested? My thoughts are you need to be gentle but direct. But, you may have been reading her signals wrong so you are embarrasing yourself
it is tricky
The worse thing you can do to her is ghost her
1. You can't ghost a class mate. It was January and class ends June.
2. A month before her game (December) - the topic of dating was brought up and I MENTIONED or said to everyone there "I don't date class mates. Also I like my life the way it is." I think that says it all.
3. During those 6 months she did a few things - to me were silly or funny - I just ignored. I think that says it all.
I agree but the window is still open
just offer a flattering explanation
" I felt like coming over and saying hello but i hesitated but i am here now (then laugh)"
no silly pick up line and nothing sexual or too bold
if she had smiled as a signal then say
I felt like coming over to say hello. I hesitated, but your smile made me (assuming she smiled) if she never smiled then
I felt like coming over to say hello. I hesitated, but your vibe made me
keep it low key and friendly
this is a good thread on picking up social cues and learning how to respond
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Try to see it from her POV
Females are careful about signaling interest as they feel rejection stronger than guys and are more vulnerable
This means when you find out she is interested a surprise
So you need to be seen as a nice relaxed safe guy. Neediness is a turn off as they will feel suffocated
If she touches you on arm or shoulder that is a strong signal but go slowly as she is testing the waters
Females are careful about signaling interest as they feel rejection stronger than guys and are more vulnerable
This means when you find out she is interested a surprise
So you need to be seen as a nice relaxed safe guy. Neediness is a turn off as they will feel suffocated
If she touches you on arm or shoulder that is a strong signal but go slowly as she is testing the waters
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When I was a young teenager one of the school heavies warned me off looking at his girlfriend. She had told him that I was giving her "bedroom eyes". I was surprised because there were a lot of attractive girls in that school. She wasn't one of them. She was a skinny "nose on a stick". I really was unaware of her. Wishful thinking on her part. Had to talk my way out of it though.
This is what I am doing on Thursday evening. Fuck my life sucks.
This is what I am doing on Thursday evening. Fuck my life sucks.
"I thought Melissa was dating Liam"?
"Who's Melissa?"
"The girl I've been giving bedroom eyes to, I didn't realize she was your girlfriend?".
"Jackie is my girlfriend, and stop looking at her"
"Who the hell is Jackie?"
"Her" - points
"THAT'S your girlfriend? And you think you need to fight off other guys?"
I had a really good physed/health/sex teacher that one day had a coed class on sex. The classes were usually separate..
This class was not about sex but how to appeal to the opposite sex and signalling. The females were very direct and open when they confronted me and said I was an attractive guy, but I was ruining it. My long hair needed to be cut not because it was long but it was sloppy. I needed nicer and cleaner cloths. Wash your running shoes was one recommendation as women notice the details. Their thinking is if you do not treat yourself well then you will not treat them well.
I started wearing nice clean cloths, nothing over the top, but started matching colors so I killed the blue jeans as you cannot match them with anything and got black jeans. I behaved socially with the realization I had to demonstrate I was a safe guy by giving social cues like how I treat people in general. Women judge you when they are interested as they are checking you out.
This class was not about sex but how to appeal to the opposite sex and signalling. The females were very direct and open when they confronted me and said I was an attractive guy, but I was ruining it. My long hair needed to be cut not because it was long but it was sloppy. I needed nicer and cleaner cloths. Wash your running shoes was one recommendation as women notice the details. Their thinking is if you do not treat yourself well then you will not treat them well.
I started wearing nice clean cloths, nothing over the top, but started matching colors so I killed the blue jeans as you cannot match them with anything and got black jeans. I behaved socially with the realization I had to demonstrate I was a safe guy by giving social cues like how I treat people in general. Women judge you when they are interested as they are checking you out.
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Let's say after 6 - 8 months she show interest in you. You know by now she date many people. What do you do?
Many years ago, an SP that I had seen a few times reached out to me here on Terb. She said that she knew who I was based on my writing style. She invited me out for drinks. I was skeptical about the whole thing and was thinking that maybe her account had been hacked. I took a chance and went to meet her. We ended up dating for just over a year.
