Ever Have Feelings for a SW?

Andy Bernard said:

But they wouldn't work there for free, now would they? So yes they are doing it for the money. To suggest otherwise is laughable.

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People need food to live. Women still get paid and unequalled in many industries and ways She is also forgoing a traditional lifestyle and they also have to practice discernment

Sadie Banks said:

But at the end of the day, unless your provider clearly tells you she wants something beyond that, it’s important not to blur the line between fantasy and reality or make assumptions about her feelings.

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Excellent post. I've said the client version of your whole post many times, except my go to example is a person's favourite waitresses.

Life is filled with friendly transactional relationships. Like all relationships they have boundaries. In all friendly transactional relationships it should be the non-client party that suggests moving beyond those boundaries. The client should be thoughtful about agreeing.

I to have had this happen catchin feeling , this is how I smartened up , Think of it this way, 25 guys a week 100 a month 1200 per year conservatively,



This is 1000 people in a theatre ... let that sink in next time!

cowboy said:

I to have had this happen catchin feeling , this is how I smartened up , Think of it this way, 25 guys a week 100 a month 1200 per year conservatively,

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This is 1000 people in a theatre ... let that sink in next time!

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Those guys don't matter, I'm the special one lol

All the time, we're talking batting 400 here. It's part of the fun.

Just like real life it's fleeting, enjoy the moment, store the experience in the spank bank for those long months where pay day isn't for another week, or for those days you gotta throw it to the misses . Then repeat with a new provider or next one from the rosters.

I have seen MPAs only. It is easier and you can have choices even though less mileage.

A matter of preference.

I have felt some would make a nice GF and feelings would develop given time but no strong feelings happened at the spa.

I suspect some developed feelings for me actually. I understand they act but I am sure I was that guy they were happy to see and they enjoyed their job while I was with them for a hour. Conversation was easy, smiling the entire session as I gave a genuinely decent massage.

Some gave me their number. I realize that can be business related as in I enjoy you as a customer so phone me and I will book you but I believe a few wanted a relationship outside the MP.

Feelings can happen both ways.

@einar your input is always appreciated. I haven’t seen you here yet in this thread.

Dedicated to all that have had feelings

onomatopoeia said:

This is similar to the multiple threads started by the guy with a handle something like 'Takshi'; many of you will know who I mean. He's the guy who wants to marry one of his favorite Escorts, so he can have her all to himself.

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I recall two escorts who got married to a client who contacted me afterward.

1) It was great for a few months with a wealthy man's nice mansion. But got bored and found differences in attitudes (snobish vs downtown to earth escort), and got a divorce. He kind of acted as if he owned her, which was how she felt after the lure of wealth wore off.

2) Gal enjoyed escorting and meeting different men. Fell in love with a client. I prefer to "stand," not fall in love. But he wanted to be too controlling, and insisted she was all his and didn't want her escorting. This guy wasn't rich, and she enjoyed contributing to the household expenses.

At age 79, I have no interest physically in women anywhere near my age, but I have no expectations other than a real, sincere, sensual experience for an hour with a woman.

Since I'm more interested in good touch than sex, I find strip club VIPs quite good for my interests. However, a great sensual escort is even better in bed or while massaging her on a massage table.i.e., nude-reverse previously at Allure. I am more interested in giving than receiving, but both are nice.

If an escort, etc., really wanted to be real friends (with benefits), I would certainly consider it, but if it were real (no cost), that is VERY unlikely, and I have never had any expectations of that.

BTW,
Long ago, when I ran the Phoenix Private List and the sky-high condo parties, we had hundreds of escorts sharing (in Phoenix). BTW it wasn't just the usual meet and greet at a bar. Did that, but I also MC'd with a mic, etc., to discuss legal and other issues, and had about 50 escorts who weren't mic-shy briefly introduce themselves. So it was much more than the usual just bar meet-and-greets I've attended in Phoenix.

That ended when a party I was not at, vice cops (male and female) infiltrated and had casual conversations with both guys and gal escorts and were busted afterward for soliciting or offering sexual services. We had a quite attractive undercover vice cop who would easily get solicited.

Muchadoaboutnothing said:

so I say diet Coca Cola everytime lol or I love diet Coca Cola!

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Yes my drink of choice at a strip clubs is always a Diet Coke - the drink since I have no interest in beer etc. I used to say Diet Coke or Pepsi but Coke seems to have won the war and its Coke in most clubs

What if... Mr. Cool guy has Limerence (thanks for my having to learn a new word).

What if he is a nuisance for the provider who wants him to leave her alone? Or the idealization of his provider as a limerent object?

Perhaps the best protection is not to give your real name (as some do who actually like a client) if you have any inkling that he seems too personal about your private life, boyfriends, husband, etc.

Or wonder if agencies can make a note to dispatchers that a specific escort is not available or booked up for a certain client? Maybe separate from the totally always rejected person. Maybe bookers can bring up a screen in Alpha order for this if this were common and requested by an escort. I have no idea whether this is a major issue for escorts.

Of course, it wouldn't work as easily if she were independent, making her own appointments, since it's harder to just be booked up than "I don't want to see you."

Some guys may not fit the definition of limerence, but may be addicted to love and think it means more after a great time with a provider for the hour, etc. Perhaps has an addictive personality.

Hopefully not a stalker with a provider that works out of her own home or apartment.

I don't think changing a provider alias is a good idea since you would lose clients who don't know your new name. In Phoenix the usual reason for escorts changing there name was if they had bad reviews and wanted to hide their former name.

Thanks for these observations and experiences, Dave!

I'm afraid I can't relate much to this thread: I have always had kind, intelligent, interesting women in my life, so I'm not seeking this from an escort. But it's easy for a guy to confuse physical sex, even paid sex, with personal connection - especially if he is missing personal connection in his life.

Dave in Phoenix said:

Since I'm more interested in good touch than sex, I find strip club VIPs quite good for my interests. However, a great sensual escort is even better in bed or while massaging her on a massage table.i.e., nude-reverse previously at Allure. I am more interested in giving than receiving, but both are nice.

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The next time that you're in a 'Chinatown version of Dollerama ', ask if they have a set of Baoding Iron Balls.

These cost about $10 at the store on the north corner of Baldwin Street and Spadina Avenue in Toronto, two metal balls with a sounding board inside, usually inside a wooden box with an instruction pamphlet written in pidgin English. They're available in different sizes to accommodate smaller or larger hand sizes.





The intended use is to spin them in one hand to improve circulation, but they are also amazing when used for massage.

Two techniques I use:

1. Place a ball in the center of one's palm, curving the palm slightly, ball(s) on top of flesh. Rotate the hand(s) while pressing down.

2. Firmly grip and pull a ball along flesh, as if 'painting a fence.

The pressure level is variable, and can be increased to the preference of the recipient. One or both balls can be used at the same time.

The balls are also excellent for quickly healing bruises, sprains or muscle strains. For this purpose, I would suggest initial pressure at the level of mild discomfort, then increase slightly for each additional use. Tolerance will increase with repeated use. Start near the center of the injured area and work your way out. Think of a sprain or bruise as being similar to a river where the banks have overflown after a flood. One way to get the waterlogged land to absorb the water is to spread it over a wider area. That's the best analogy I can offer for healing.

I've had much positive feedback from using these in sessions over the past 30+ years, and the set of balls is a well appreciated inexpensive practical gift.

onomatopoeia said:

The next time that you're in a 'Chinatown version of Dollerama ', ask if they have a set of Baoding Iron Balls.

These cost about $10 at the store on the north corner of Baldwin Street and Spadina Avenue in Toronto, two metal balls with a sounding board inside, usually inside a wooden box with an instruction pamphlet written in pidgin English. They're available in different sizes to accommodate smaller or larger hand sizes.

View attachment 598030



The intended use is to spin them in one hand to improve circulation, but they are also amazing when used for massage.

Two techniques I use:

1. Place a ball in the center of one's palm, curving the palm slightly, ball(s) on top of flesh. Rotate the hand(s) while pressing down.

2. Firmly grip and pull a ball along flesh, as if 'painting a fence.

The pressure level is variable, and can be increased to the preference of the recipient. One or both balls can be used at the same time.

The balls are also excellent for quickly healing bruises, sprains or muscle strains. For this purpose, I would suggest initial pressure at the level of mild discomfort, then increase slightly for each additional use. Tolerance will increase with repeated use. Start near the center of the injured area and work your way out. Think of a sprain or bruise as being similar to a river where the banks have overflown after a flood. One way to get the waterlogged land to absorb the water is to spread it over a wider area. That's the best analogy I can offer for healing.

I've had much positive feedback from using these in sessions over the past 30+ years, and the set of balls is a well appreciated inexpensive practical gift.

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Totally forgot about
these
Thank you !

onomatopoeia said:

The next time that you're in a 'Chinatown version of Dollerama ', ask if they have a set of Baoding Iron Balls.

These cost about $10 at the store on the north corner of Baldwin Street and Spadina Avenue in Toronto, two metal balls with a sounding board inside, usually inside a wooden box with an instruction pamphlet written in pidgin English. They're available in different sizes to accommodate smaller or larger hand sizes.

View attachment 598030



The intended use is to spin them in one hand to improve circulation, but they are also amazing when used for massage.

Two techniques I use:

1. Place a ball in the center of one's palm, curving the palm slightly, ball(s) on top of flesh. Rotate the hand(s) while pressing down.

2. Firmly grip and pull a ball along flesh, as if 'painting a fence.

The pressure level is variable, and can be increased to the preference of the recipient. One or both balls can be used at the same time.

The balls are also excellent for quickly healing bruises, sprains or muscle strains. For this purpose, I would suggest initial pressure at the level of mild discomfort, then increase slightly for each additional use. Tolerance will increase with repeated use. Start near the center of the injured area and work your way out. Think of a sprain or bruise as being similar to a river where the banks have overflown after a flood. One way to get the waterlogged land to absorb the water is to spread it over a wider area. That's the best analogy I can offer for healing.

I've had much positive feedback from using these in sessions over the past 30+ years, and the set of balls is a well appreciated inexpensive practical gift.

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I use tennis balls.

This has now become the “how to give a great massage thread.”

I’ve always prided myself on my handy-work and massage skills. I’m taking notes.

ADHD?


Something new...

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an extreme emotional response to perceived or real rejection, criticism, or failure. Highly prevalent in people with ADHD, it can trigger sudden, overwhelming emotional pain that feels like an emergency. It is not a formal diagnosis, but rather a profound form of emotional dysregulation

Ever Have Feelings for a SW?

Sometimes I wonder if they went to a better place. Living a normal life. I know a few that moved across the country and still continue, they can't stop. Or they do temporarily - more like seasonal work. A few got married and moved on. Very few moved on. Like us some or most men have done the same.

There is all kinds like us. In the end the ride was great.

Human connection is only natural, regardless of situation. Most often that just results in a more enjoyable time and doesn't go beyond that. But there are women in this industry that I've also genuinely connected with on a deeper level. However, I do not base my assumption of genuine connection on anything but cold, hard facts. Doing otherwise is incredibly dangerous in this industry.

A lady extending your time with her so that she can trauma dump on you is not an indication that she has feelings for you. Doing so is merely a way to relieve stress and work through issues. And bear in mind that making a client feel "special" very strongly drives repeat business, longer paid sessions, and potentially higher tips.

I do not let myself bond with an industry lady until real evidence of genuine connection happens. And you can only really get that once you remove your wallet from the equation. In all my years in this hobby, I have only had two instances where a relationship with a lady has survived that test. I'm still in contact with one of them, 9-10 years now after she retired, though the last time I saw her in person was when she took me out for a birthday lunch before COVID (though in large part that's because I was dating someone for a 5-year stretch).

Funny, when I was new to this, I actually had a dancer regular of mine offer her phone number and I turned it down, simply because I wanted to maintain boundaries. The look of shock on her face was hilarious. I got the impression very few men had ever turned down her number. I did EVENTUALLY accept her number, and that led to fun times outside the club, and off the clock. But that particular "relationship" did not survive me removing my wallet entirely, so I wouldn't consider it a genuine connection.

Now that I'm retired/on long hiatus from the hobby, I've been looking at old threads about my fave agency, Roommates, to relive my experiences and came across this:

Steve Harper said:

Yes, the retired Ashley, my no. 1 ATF. Would marry her tomorrow. In a heartbeat.

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I had a session with Corey, as I exited the bathroom after my pre session shower and was in the hallway about to re enter the bedroom, Ashley came out from the bullpen and said "Hi (my hobby name)!", I said a quick "Hi" back and went back into bedroom where Corey was waiting for me. At some point during the session, Corey said to me, "You should ask Ashley out, she doesn't have a boy friend you know!" . I always liked her a very very much/ had feelings for her as well as I had seen her numerous times. I didn't 'think much of it at the time, Looking back at it now , I think Ashley most likely had feelings for me. as well . As the above quote said "Would marry her tomorrow. In a heartbeat.". Damn! I should have acted on it, lol
I thought it was kind of funny and cute that an SP tried to set me up with another SP.