Wife dilemma

Just.the.tip · Apr 15, 2026

I was hesitant to post about my wife , but here we are.
I am visiting my provider maybe once every two weeks and sometimes more often if need be. I believe I made it pretty obvious who she is.

I am married with a few kids that are now all grown up and moved out.
My wife doesn’t feel any sexual attraction toward me since she entered menopause and frankly, I still have needs that needs to be fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong , I am still very attracted to her and am not planning on divorcing, but it’s a pain in the ass to try and get rejected over and over.
I almost feel like I am pressuring her and let me tell you , it’s not a good feeling.
However, I know she’s masturbating watching porn. I saw her browsing history on our computer a few weeks ago. She’s watching 3 ways. 2G/1M

Following that discovery , I found myself daydreaming about my provider and my wife together.
A 3way with the both of them.
I know my provider would be willing to do it, but I am hesitant to ask my wife.
My birthday’s coming and it could be a good icebreaker to start the conversation.
I know my provider could pretend to meet me for the first time so this part is easy.

Should I ask her and risk making her feel pressured or should I just leave it alone and book a duo session with my provider and her colleague ?

Peace

robert27 · Apr 15, 2026

Just.the.tip said:
I was hesitant to post about my wife , but here we are.
I am visiting my provider maybe once every two weeks and sometimes more often if need be. I believe I made it pretty obvious who she is.

I am married with a few kids that are now all grown up and moved out.
My wife doesn’t feel any sexual attraction toward me since she entered menopause and frankly, I still have needs that needs to be fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong , I am still very attracted to her and am not planning on divorcing, but it’s a pain in the ass to try and get rejected over and over.
I almost feel like I am pressuring her and let me tell you , it’s not a good feeling.
However, I know she’s masturbating watching porn. I saw her browsing history on our computer a few weeks ago. She’s watching 3 ways. 2G/1M

Following that discovery , I found myself daydreaming about my provider and my wife together.
A 3way with the both of them.
I know my provider would be willing to do it, but I am hesitant to ask my wife.
My birthday’s coming and it could be a good icebreaker to start the conversation.
I know my provider could pretend to meet me for the first time so this part is easy.

Should I ask her and risk making her feel pressured or should I just leave it alone and book a duo session with my provider and her colleague ?

Peace

I would start w catching her w the porn and say thats hot lets watch together, make luv etc... then slowly bring it up saying that porn was hot would you ever consider in real life, if she says hell no just laugh and say I was joking obviously lol

mwillheim22 · Apr 15, 2026

Just.the.tip said:
I was hesitant to post about my wife , but here we are.
I am visiting my provider maybe once every two weeks and sometimes more often if need be. I believe I made it pretty obvious who she is.

I am married with a few kids that are now all grown up and moved out.
My wife doesn’t feel any sexual attraction toward me since she entered menopause and frankly, I still have needs that needs to be fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong , I am still very attracted to her and am not planning on divorcing, but it’s a pain in the ass to try and get rejected over and over.
I almost feel like I am pressuring her and let me tell you , it’s not a good feeling.
However, I know she’s masturbating watching porn. I saw her browsing history on our computer a few weeks ago. She’s watching 3 ways. 2G/1M

Following that discovery , I found myself daydreaming about my provider and my wife together.
A 3way with the both of them.
I know my provider would be willing to do it, but I am hesitant to ask my wife.
My birthday’s coming and it could be a good icebreaker to start the conversation.
I know my provider could pretend to meet me for the first time so this part is easy.

Should I ask her and risk making her feel pressured or should I just leave it alone and book a duo session with my provider and her colleague ?

Peace

Trick would be to find a video she's watched more than once through pornhub (or whichever website on her history) and then "accidently" text her in a conversation with the video link to it. Key is to make it look like an accident. Like you two are texting back and forth about something mundane and then you paste the link in your chat.

Of course, make sure no one else is in the chat with you two. And you don't admit to finding it on her browser or that you're snooping through her things.

Next part depends on how she engages you. A negative reaction means to continue doing you. A positive reaction means to build the experience into a conversation naturally and "trying it out."

First go for a couples massage (regular one at regular spa) and see if that leads to sex between you two at home. If not, ask if she would like to try seeing someone together after the massage. Like, "I was hoping we could massage them after." If yes, you would then introduce the idea of Hush and CMJ (whichever classy joint you like). Let her know there's a website you found and it has some photos. Checkout the ladies until you both see someone you two like. Then contact the club and visit together.

I don't know how open your regular MA will be to misleading your wife. Would she play along or do you think it would screw things up? If it's not an issue, then propose seeing someone more discreet and that's your regular MA.

Theredmilf · Apr 16, 2026

I wrote a whole response and then realized I misunderstood your post. You want to ask your wife about having a threesome for your birthday and invite a sex worker? But you would tell her it’s a sex worker, just not this it isn’t your first hurrah with a spicy lady? Hopefully I’m understanding now!

If that’s the case I see a few danger zones. First, women are incredibly perceptive. If that was me, I would instantly deduce you’ve already been playing in the secret garden and would also be able to tell in minutes whether you and the lady you invite have met before. I might also intuit you creeped my porn history. If you think none of these disclosures will be a problem, maybe it will work out but it just sounds messy to me.

Secondly, maybe her taste in women isn’t the same as yours. Presuming you discuss this and she’s open to it, this might be her first time having a threesome and also being with a woman, so I suggest letting her pick someone she feels comfortable with. She might prefer meeting someone organically for that matter.

Imagining a complete reversal of fortunes from a platonic marriage to a where you’re having a threesome with your sex worker requires some mental gymnastics to put it lightly, so you'll have to forgive me for thinking we’re surely missing a few steps for this to end well. Tread carefully and maybe make this a goal for an Oktoberfest celebration if she’s not as eager to go from 0 to 60 in time for your birthday.

gr81eh11 · Apr 16, 2026

Theredmilf said:
I wrote a whole response and then realized I misunderstood your post. You want to ask your wife about having a threesome for your birthday and invite a sex worker? But you would tell her it’s a sex worker, just not this it isn’t your first hurrah with a spicy lady? Hopefully I’m understanding now!

If that’s the case I see a few danger zones. First, women are incredibly perceptive. If that was me, I would instantly deduce you’ve already been playing in the secret garden and would also be able to tell in minutes whether you and the lady you invite have met before. I might also intuit you creeped my porn history. If you think none of these disclosures will be a problem, maybe it will work out but it just sounds messy to me.

Secondly, maybe her taste in women isn’t the same as yours. Presuming you discuss this and she’s open to it, this might be her first time having a threesome and also being with a woman, so I suggest letting her pick someone she feels comfortable with. She might prefer meeting someone organically for that matter.

Imagining a complete reversal of fortunes from a platonic marriage to a where you’re having a threesome with your sex worker requires some mental gymnastics to put it lightly, so you'll have to forgive me for thinking we’re surely missing a few steps for this to end well. Tread carefully and maybe make this a goal for an Oktoberfest celebration if she’s not as eager to go from 0 to 60 in time for your birthday.

Just.the.tip said:

I was hesitant to post about my wife , but here we are.
I am visiting my provider maybe once every two weeks and sometimes more often if need be. I believe I made it pretty obvious who she is.

I am married with a few kids that are now all grown up and moved out.
My wife doesn’t feel any sexual attraction toward me since she entered menopause and frankly, I still have needs that needs to be fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong , I am still very attracted to her and am not planning on divorcing, but it’s a pain in the ass to try and get rejected over and over.
I almost feel like I am pressuring her and let me tell you , it’s not a good feeling.
However, I know she’s masturbating watching porn. I saw her browsing history on our computer a few weeks ago. She’s watching 3 ways. 2G/1M

Following that discovery , I found myself daydreaming about my provider and my wife together.
A 3way with the both of them.
I know my provider would be willing to do it, but I am hesitant to ask my wife.
My birthday’s coming and it could be a good icebreaker to start the conversation.
I know my provider could pretend to meet me for the first time so this part is easy.

Should I ask her and risk making her feel pressured or should I just leave it alone and book a duo session with my provider and her colleague ?

Peace

Click to expand...

My suggestion would be don't say anything to your wife about a 3way, talk to your provider and see if she would be in for sure , with your wife plan an evening for B day to go for dinner and then go to go to a pub or bar and have drinks after, arrange with provider to go to the pub or bar where you and wife will be have her come and sit at the bar with the two of you (don't sit at a table lol).like she is just there for a drink.
Slowly have your provider start talking to your wife let's say when you go to the washroom, see what happens order some shooters why not do something out of the ordinary and let the evening progress if your wife is interested in pursuing a 3way this could brake the ice.
This is the approach I took with my wife and it worked I was surprised, I truly feel that when you talk to your wife or partner about having a 3way something just doesn't feel right, but in a situation thats kinda of unexpected it's a different thing, it adds to the experience and makes it more fun and exotic, and may just.happen.
If it doesn't happen this particular night
for some reason at least the conversation can start happening with your wife about a hot lady being attracted to her and can get the ball rolling, your wife won't seem suspicious about your provider because your wife will think that she was a patron at the bar out for the night looking to have a fun time.
My wife and I go out at least once a month and she always the one finds a friend to come and have fun it's awesome how that worked out for me and continues to this day, we go to strip joints once in a while and even been to a swingers club and she picked up a unicorn.(either one of us are into swapping) I hope my suggestion helps and works for you, Life is good for me and my wife since this first happened.

Regards,

gr81eh11

honeybear69 · Apr 16, 2026

Theredmilf said:
I wrote a whole response and then realized I misunderstood your post. You want to ask your wife about having a threesome for your birthday and invite a sex worker? But you would tell her it’s a sex worker, just not this it isn’t your first hurrah with a spicy lady? Hopefully I’m understanding now!

If that’s the case I see a few danger zones. First, women are incredibly perceptive. If that was me, I would instantly deduce you’ve already been playing in the secret garden and would also be able to tell in minutes whether you and the lady you invite have met before. I might also intuit you creeped my porn history. If you think none of these disclosures will be a problem, maybe it will work out but it just sounds messy to me.

Secondly, maybe her taste in women isn’t the same as yours. Presuming you discuss this and she’s open to it, this might be her first time having a threesome and also being with a woman, so I suggest letting her pick someone she feels comfortable with. She might prefer meeting someone organically for that matter.

Imagining a complete reversal of fortunes from a platonic marriage to a where you’re having a threesome with your sex worker requires some mental gymnastics to put it lightly, so you'll have to forgive me for thinking we’re surely missing a few steps for this to end well. Tread carefully and maybe make this a goal for an Oktoberfest celebration if she’s not as eager to go from 0 to 60 in time for your birthday.

1000%
After readying like Ruby did a few times your post I asked myself, when did you last try a romantic getaway night for just you and your wife? Get back to the basics, room at the Chateau for the night, great diner light drinks, a beautiful walk along the canal, some light music or jazz? I am not sure how you approach your wife when you are in the mood but maybe start lining up the times she is watching porn (maybe she is in the mood) and when you approach bring your A-game.....I don't know the details of how you ask or suggest maybe now is a good time with your wife, but maybe she feels the same way about you? I get off on the videos also of 2 women and a guy (or more women I am not opposed to that). But if someone who I have not been intimate with in a while threw that at me.....because they have been scoping my search history......then they better be named Temu, Amazon, Fox News, and How to setup a new Laptop for people over 60 if you read my history!
HB69......was here?!?!?!? If you are coming here for advice be ready for all types of advice....wine and dine the Lady you married.....and tell her she looks more beautiful now than she looked when you first saw her across the room at the coffee shop when your heart skipped a beat for a split second when you first saw her.....in that summer dress that just hung on her like the designer made it only for her, it hugged her so beautifully and the sun shone threw her beautiful red hair as she turned her head, you gulped and your mouth went dry.....sorry...sorry that was my fist time seeing Ruby in person....sorry!!

TigerFlex5 · Apr 16, 2026

You need to have a better understanding of her needs, otherwise you may find a lot of surprises, some you may not like (depending on your taste...).
If you want to get in that conversation, you need to be ready for everything :
1- What if she wants to do a 3-some but with you and another guy? Are you going to take it?
2- What if she wants to be with only a girl?
3- What if she doesn't want to be intimate with you at all, but want to be with someone else?

Before getting involve you favorite provider, you need to do more search if you want to keep your marriage.

Just my 2 cents...

xix · Apr 16, 2026

I would go with @honeybear69 idea first.
Catch her in the act with the porn. Simply ask "why you watch?" - nothing wrong with it. IF she never brings up the idea of 3 some, most likely she is not into it.
Or this is her way of saying she wants out of the marriage wants to explore in her own.

As for the SP yeah let her pick, it has been discussed before. She will pick up that you seen her before. It all must be her idea or else you are doomed.

Also she could be setting you up, and probably has figured YOU are seeing a SP. Did this cross your mind?

There are to many variables. If I was in your shoes, I go see a psychic and ask question to the psychic, but I wouldn't tell them / psychic she is my wife. I would Take a recent picture of her head shot and full body, printed on a regular paper and tell the psychic " I am asking for a friend". I suggest 3 psychics just like when you get 3 quotes for a contract job.
Also I would ask if she cheat on me?

20260416J

SIRLOKI · Apr 16, 2026

If you do,search for a new provider with her.dont go to your regular girl, she will pick that up.
My wallet wishes my wife would put out .

busker · Apr 16, 2026

I echo everyone else's take, 100% don't go with someone you've seen... its not only obvious but I would see it as pretty disrespectful to both. I'd also maybe looking into the swinging lifestyle with her. Lots of great people in that community. How to do that? Do some searches online for communities in Ottawa, "accidentally" leave your browser open, and see what happens.

ShenaniganD · Apr 16, 2026

When I started reading your post, it hit really close to home as my situation is extremely similar up to and including the part of feeling like your pressuring her and having trouble processing being rejected. My wife also points to menopause as the driving factor.

Then you bring up the next part and I’m like wait a second. There is no way any of us can understand anyone’s relationship in one message, but in my opinion you need to figure out this part first. If she is indeed masturbating, then there is still a desire there. I would address that part first IMHO. Let her tell you she desires women or is bi-curious. Maybe she needs the out, if that’s what the situation is.

From my experience, thinking I know what a woman is thinking has never worked out for me before.

Good Luck

funfunfun010101 · Apr 16, 2026

xix said:
To many variables. I go see a psychic and ask my question to the psychic, but don't tell them / psychic hat is your wife. Take a recent picture of her head shot and full body, printed on a regular paper and tell the psychic you are asking for a friend. I suggest 3 psychics just when you get 3 quotes for contract job.
Also I ask did she cheat on her husband?

bro what?

613yayouknowme · Apr 16, 2026

I don't chime in much around these parts but this one caught my attention. I'm not an expert but there's a lot to unpack here.

Your wife doesn't want to have sex with you but is watching porn.

Think there's some stuff you need to work on with your wife. Why doesn't she want to have sex? She's obviously still sexual.

You think that her watching threesome porn means that you can suggest a threesome and reinvigorate your marriage.

Porn = fantasy. Just because it's what she's been watching doesn't mean it's going to ring true in life. And maybe she's not interested in a threesome with you. If you go down this rabbit hole you might uncover more than you bargain for.

You think that the easiest path to this is to suggest a threesome with a provider.

If you suggest this she is 100% going to know you already see providers. If nothing else in here rings true to you heed my advice on this, ask her how you can fulfill this fantasy together and unpack it in tandem to reach the same point. If you lead with the provider angle you're in trouble.

It sounds like you got whiff of something that appeals to you (who doesn't love a threesome) but you have a lot of work to get there. Take a step back, control your urges and start communicating with your wife on how you can get to step 1 which is intimacy between the two of you.

Jabba · Apr 16, 2026

For reasons that may not be clear to you now, I highly recommend you keep your hobby fantasy life and home life separate.
A FFM 3-some fantasy may Piss off your wife even if it is for your BD. If you introduce a new SP to the mix, she will wonder who else you've been seeing and for how long, etc.
Just creates complications IMO.

Here's a thought - For your wife's BD, maybe you should suggest a GB (where she is the source of affection) or MMF combo

Good luck.

xix · Apr 16, 2026

funfunfun010101 said:
bro what?

Sorry fixed it.

Turd Ferguson · Apr 17, 2026

Sounds like you're heading for a divorce the second you'd introduce the idea of a SW!

Let's be honest. You're lying to your wife right now by not telling her you're seeing a SW!

I get it!

Yes. Men have needs. So do Women.

Be "honest" with her by approaching her about her browsing history. Ask her how she feels about watching porn together first.

Get into a groove. If she is into the idea of a FFM with you, I'd ask HER to do some research on what needs to be done to fulfill her fantasy.

Fuck. She knows you would be into it even without asking! You're a guy.

Tell her your fantasy is watching her being ravished by another woman. Then you fucking her (not the other woman) when she's ready.

The gig is up the second you even remotely suggest seeing a SW.

I'd suggest even maybe going to a swingers club. But all this has to be on her terms and research.

pinkpanther800506 · Apr 17, 2026

Just get a divorce as she’s checked out on you a long time ago or she probably has some side dick the only difference is that she’s not spending a fortune to get it.

TheRiddlerMan · Apr 17, 2026

Make sure you have a good lawyer first, because that scenario's a fast train to Splitsville.

Julie_BrassClub · Apr 17, 2026

Just.the.tip said:
I was hesitant to post about my wife , but here we are.
I am visiting my provider maybe once every two weeks and sometimes more often if need be. I believe I made it pretty obvious who she is.

I am married with a few kids that are now all grown up and moved out.
My wife doesn’t feel any sexual attraction toward me since she entered menopause and frankly, I still have needs that needs to be fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong , I am still very attracted to her and am not planning on divorcing, but it’s a pain in the ass to try and get rejected over and over.
I almost feel like I am pressuring her and let me tell you , it’s not a good feeling.
However, I know she’s masturbating watching porn. I saw her browsing history on our computer a few weeks ago. She’s watching 3 ways. 2G/1M

Following that discovery , I found myself daydreaming about my provider and my wife together.
A 3way with the both of them.
I know my provider would be willing to do it, but I am hesitant to ask my wife.
My birthday’s coming and it could be a good icebreaker to start the conversation.
I know my provider could pretend to meet me for the first time so this part is easy.

Should I ask her and risk making her feel pressured or should I just leave it alone and book a duo session with my provider and her colleague ?

Peace

let her have her secret garden , just like you have yours

it's not because she masturbates that she wants the threesome. I would be livid if my men would try to push a threesome on me after spying on my history (and said men going to SP )

and never mix those 2 environements together, unless you want to divorce. You ll open a can of worms and women are better than FBI.

Pokemon301 · Apr 17, 2026

Have you thought of paying your wife for it, maybe at a discounted rate compared to professionals?

$20 FS, $10 bbbj, 50c for a handy, etc.

Haha

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