The art of approaching women

timdaty · Mar 29, 2026

newguy2201 said:
Curious what this means?

I was in the subway yesterday and there was this cute white girl wearing a hot mini skirt sitting cross-legged across me, basically your archetypal dream gf. Im glad I resisted the temptation to approach her because as I got up and shimmied to her side and caught a side glance of her phone she was sifting through text messages from multiple guys. She made no attempt to approach me or say Hi even though atleast in my mind Im decent looking. That in a nutshell is the problem.

Women in Toronto have no incentive whatsoever to approach average to even slightly above average men in the open unless youre extremely good looking as their needs are being met and then some by the dating apps. Thats not to say that you shouldnt try because a broken clock is right twice a day but the question is is the juice worth the squeeze? I dont think so.
So women are giving you their answer by not approaching you and its not that their shy unless its rooted in cultural norms.

newguy2201 · Mar 29, 2026

timdaty said:
I was in the subway yesterday and there was this cute white girl wearing a hot mini skirt sitting cross-legged across me, basically your archetypal dream gf. Im glad I resisted the temptation to approach her because as I got up and shimmied to her side and caught a side glance of her phone she was sifting through text messages from multiple guys. She made no attempt to approach me or say Hi even though atleast in my mind Im decent looking. That in a nutshell is the problem.

Women in Toronto have no incentive whatsoever to approach average to even slightly above average men in the open unless youre extremely good looking as their needs are being met and then some by the dating apps. Thats not to say that you shouldnt try because a broken clock is right twice a day but the question is is the juice worth the squeeze? I dont think so.
So women are giving you their answer by not approaching you and its not that their shy unless its rooted in cultural norms.

That's an interesting take. I am not sure I agree with your logic here. You seem to be saying that because this hot young girl didn't approach you even though you are average to better looking, that proves that there is some imbalance that allows women a position of privilege? Is that the gist of am I reading this wrong?

I mean maybe she has a bf, maybe she's just going about her business not thinking about men or dating.

Maybe she noticed you creeping over to read her phone messages and was trying to figure out how to get away from you.

Not trying to flame you here but there are a lot of holes in your logic. It sounds like you are one of the "why don't they approach us" guys.

I too would love a world where women were comfortable and encouraged to hit on men if they found us attractive.

But in the world we live in, they don't normally, because they are socialized not to, and because they don't need to, they get lots of men approaching them, so many that they grow weary of the attention.

Not all women mind you, just the really attractive ones which is the same point you are making about men: the really attractive men DO get approached.

Its a bit unequal because probably the top 5-10% of men get approached by women, whereas probably the top 30-50% of women get approached by men (not scientific, numbers are straight out of my ass but you get the point)

The fact is that human nature will always be that men compete for female attention more than the women compete for ours.

avocat · Mar 29, 2026

timdaty said:
I was in the subway yesterday and there was this cute white girl wearing a hot mini skirt sitting cross-legged across me, basically your archetypal dream gf. Im glad I resisted the temptation to approach her because as I got up and shimmied to her side and caught a side glance of her phone she was sifting through text messages from multiple guys. She made no attempt to approach me or say Hi even though atleast in my mind Im decent looking. That in a nutshell is the problem.

Women in Toronto have no incentive whatsoever to approach average to even slightly above average men in the open unless youre extremely good looking as their needs are being met and then some by the dating apps. Thats not to say that you shouldnt try because a broken clock is right twice a day but the question is is the juice worth the squeeze? I dont think so.
So women are giving you their answer by not approaching you and its not that their shy unless its rooted in cultural norms.

Mr. TimDaty, What is with the double standard? I have a few women messaging me all the time

Nothing wrong with approaching or dating someone who is a bit promiscuous or poly, isn't that why we are here? LOL You need to work on your game, which will make an above-average guy into an Adonis. Here is what I would have done, say something like "I love your outfit, but to wear that when its 7 degrees are you from the Yukon or a supermodel?" Nothing ventured nothing maybe gained.

Muchadoaboutnothing · Mar 30, 2026

newguy2201 said:
I rest my case. You're welcome gentlemen.

I am going to start a "puppy wingman rental" business.

It’s called
rover

Muchadoaboutnothing · Mar 30, 2026

timdaty said:
I was in the subway yesterday and there was this cute white girl wearing a hot mini skirt sitting cross-legged across me, basically your archetypal dream gf. Im glad I resisted the temptation to approach her because as I got up and shimmied to her side and caught a side glance of her phone she was sifting through text messages from multiple guys. She made no attempt to approach me or say Hi even though atleast in my mind Im decent looking. That in a nutshell is the problem.

Women in Toronto have no incentive whatsoever to approach average to even slightly above average men in the open unless youre extremely good looking as their needs are being met and then some by the dating apps. Thats not to say that you shouldnt try because a broken clock is right twice a day but the question is is the juice worth the squeeze? I dont think so.
So women are giving you their answer by not approaching you and its not that their shy unless its rooted in cultural norms.

If you saw
her messages you were likely
Standing over her. Why would she approach you ? You’re probably intimidating her.

barnacler · Mar 30, 2026

Zoot Allures said:
Another thing to understand is when it comes to sex, I think women want it more than men but men want it randomly and women want is to be slower, deeper with passion and with someone they enjoy and trust if not love. Sex can be beautiful and very healing emotionally, it helps you love yourself and that is what women want. To treat sex friviously can destroy its power. So bear that foremost in your mind. Women view sex
through a different lense than men and they see it through its proper lense IMHO.

LOL

We have men to thank that the species no matter what gets procreated.

We have women to thank that those people also have parents.

timdaty · Mar 30, 2026

Zoot Allures said:
Another thing to understand is when it comes to sex, I think women want it more than men but men want it randomly and women want is to be slower, deeper with passion and with someone they enjoy and trust if not love. Sex can be beautiful and very healing emotionally, it helps you love yourself and that is what women want. To treat sex friviously can destroy its power. So bear that foremost in your mind. Women view sex
through a different lense than men and they see it through its proper lense IMHO.

Thats what women tell all the men they dont want to sleep with that its deep and emotional for them. They will never say this emotional shit to guys theyre sexually attracted to as they dont want to risk turning them off cause they know these men have options.
Its a red flag if a girl tries to drop emotional baggage on you or tries to be coy about sex cause then she's just using you by dangling her pussy like carrot.

timdaty · Mar 30, 2026

Muchadoaboutnothing said:
If you saw
her messages you were likely
Standing over her. Why would she approach you ? You’re probably intimidating her.

I scooted over to her side and was standing beside her, I dont think she saw me peeking at her phone cause of a glass panel.
As for her approaching me, when I was sitting directly opposite to her she could've atleast offered me a smile or stared at me for longer than 2 secs to show that she's interested.

Look I know Im not Brad Pitt but Toronto is fucked for single guys who arent super good looking imo. Thank god for SPs although thats a bandaid solution.
The only couples I see here are from college, or asymmetric couples where the guy is tall and good looking but the girl is average at best or tourist couples.

newguy2201 · Mar 30, 2026

timdaty said:
I scooted over to her side and was standing beside her, I dont think she saw me peeking at her phone cause of a glass panel.
As for her approaching me, when I was sitting directly opposite to her she could've atleast offered me a smile or stared at me for longer than 2 secs to show that she's interested.

Look I know Im not Brad Pitt but Toronto is fucked for single guys who arent super good looking imo.
The only couples I see here are from college, or asymmetric couples where the guy is tall and good looking but the girl is average at best or tourist couples.

But why are you assuming she should be interested? Even if you were Brad Pitt, she might have had the same reaction. "Ok, there's a good looking guy. So what?" And carry on with her day.

Why are you assuming she should have shown some interest in you, or that her not doing so is an indicator that there is an imbalance in dating dynamics or something.

I don't get where you are coming from here.

timdaty · Mar 30, 2026

newguy2201 said:
But why are you assuming she should be interested? Even if you were Brad Pitt, she might have had the same reaction. "Ok, there's a good looking guy. So what?" And carry on with her day.

Why are you assuming she should have shown some interest in you, or that her not doing so is an indicator that there is an imbalance in dating dynamics or something.

I don't get where you are coming from here.

The point Im making is that if I was Brad Pitt she would've given me an obvious IOI so Brad would make the move of approaching her. Average guys are invisible to these women.

Why would you approach a random girl if she gives you no IOI at all? Thats basically asking for embarrassment.

Sa10 · Mar 30, 2026

In a way, tinder is like Leo list for woman in Toronto. When they want some, they just go on it, like we do. Except they don’t have to spend any

.

think about it…. Do you go on leolist (or agency sites) or do you go lurking in the alleys & hope to be approached like “you looking for a good time honey?”

Alternatively, if you’re a part of a social group, & you’re attractive, prospects arise from there.

But you see ? There’s no “approach” anywhere. It’s just a gimmick created by red pill, manosphere movement clowns

& pua scammers. Who want to prey on desperate young men, by selling them courses & getting rich of their delusions.

Toronto is becoming more & more unsafe for woman by the day. Strangers approaching & starting awkward conversation is highly discouraged given the current atmosphere in the city.

Big Rig · Mar 31, 2026

Sa10 said:
In a way, tinder is like Leo list for woman in Toronto. When they want some, they just go on it, like we do. Except they don’t have to spend any .

think about it…. Do you go on leolist (or agency sites) or do you go lurking in the alleys & hope to be approached like “you looking for a good time honey?”

Alternatively, if you’re a part of a social group, & you’re attractive, prospects arise from there.

But you see ? There’s no “approach” anywhere. It’s just a gimmick created by red pill, manosphere movement clowns & pua scammers. Who want to prey on desperate young men, by selling them courses & getting rich of their delusions.

Toronto is becoming more & more unsafe for woman by the day. Strangers approaching & starting awkward conversation is highly discouraged given the current atmosphere in the city.

Agree about PUA crap. It sounds brutal. Bothering women and getting countless rejections then finally a few phone numbers followed by ghosting because she decided not to follow through and risking a bad date .

While on the road I have met women while doing something and then, after meeting by chance, we date after we got to know each other.

Simple as that.

Your best chance is to meet someone is in a place where you get to know each other most likely, but not limited to, repeated contact.

It is in those situations tips on how to present yourself are in play.

Dress presentable and be yourself and by doing that you should naturally be relaxed and confident because you are not playing games because you are just being yourself, so fall in love with yourself and stay there.

Anyone care to add to that?

xix · Mar 31, 2026

Man some people are in a closet.

In the 1980's you go to a club and the women had to pick one of the guys in the dance CLUB.
Now in 2026 in the Dance club - ( If there is one around here ?) Women can pick from inside the club or outside by using the dating app. Two choices not one from now.

So get it?

Also...Some guys don't want it anymore. My co-worker refused his ex - gf several times On Friday even after she offered him an Uber ride back and forth. He doesn't drive.

Patron · Mar 31, 2026

Big Rig said:
Agree about PUA crap. It sounds brutal. Bothering women and getting countless rejections then finally a few phone numbers followed by ghosting because she decided not to follow through and risking a bad date .

While on the road I have met women while doing something and then, after meeting by chance, we date after we got to know each other.

Simple as that.

Your best chance is to meet someone is in a place where you get to know each other most likely, but not limited to, repeated contact.

It is in those situations tips on how to present yourself are in play.

Dress presentable and be yourself and by doing that you should naturally be relaxed and confident because you are not playing games because you are just being yourself, so fall in love with yourself and stay there.

Anyone care to add to that?

Your advice to just live your life and accept what does and doesn’t happen is commendable, but at the same time there are certain constraints that have to be acknowledged.

Society no longer accepts romantic relationships as part of the workplace or in business endeavors in general. The days of Mad Men are no more.

A person has to develop alternative methods for meeting partners, but that occurs at the same time that increased time at work is necessary for financial success, or even to make ends meet.

Online dating is the standard methodology, but that is time consuming and many people simply don’t enjoy it.

There is always this belief that casual meetings can generate success, but it simply isn’t as likely to succeed as many keyboard warriors suggest, especially in a world where women have less financial and social pressure to date and marry.

So inevitably we have seen a rise in the number of singles. Not sure that some magical technique exists to change that. Markets, and romance is a market, adjust to equilibrium even if some people don’t like the equilibrium. Put simply, the women in the picture I posted intently scrolling on their phones don’t likely want to be approached and they helped establish an equilibrium that they want.

They are perfectly capable of putting the phone down and initiating chit chat if they want to. Most apparently don’t want to.

xix · Mar 31, 2026

Patron said:
Your advice to just live your life and accept what does and doesn’t happen is commendable, but at the same time there are certain constraints that have to be acknowledged.

So inevitably we have seen a rise in the number of singles. Not sure that some magical technique exists to change that. Markets, and romance is a market, adjust to equilibrium even if some people don’t like the equilibrium. Put simply, the women in the picture I posted intently scrolling on their phones don’t likely want to be approached and they helped establish an equilibrium that they want.

They are perfectly capable of putting the phone down and initiating chit chat if they want to. Most apparently don’t want to.

I think people are already MARRIED to Money then their Cells Phones. Then the pet, materialism, and their HEAD. Head meaning they are confused, lost and don't want to fix themselves.

Endurance2024 · Mar 31, 2026

Big Rig said:
Agree about PUA crap. It sounds brutal. Bothering women and getting countless rejections then finally a few phone numbers followed by ghosting because she decided not to follow through and risking a bad date .

While on the road I have met women while doing something and then, after meeting by chance, we date after we got to know each other.

Simple as that.

Your best chance is to meet someone is in a place where you get to know each other most likely, but not limited to, repeated contact.

It is in those situations tips on how to present yourself are in play.

Dress presentable and be yourself and by doing that you should naturally be relaxed and confident because you are not playing games because you are just being yourself, so fall in love with yourself and stay there.

Anyone care to add to that?

I have to agree with you on meeting women in a setting. Getting your nose out of the phone and do something. Join a gym for the group activities, take up tennis or golf.

I randomly fit in as a single for golf and often strangers could become friends and in some cases planning another round at a later date. While I'm not going to just fit in with a group of women sometimes it happens.

For that girl on the subway with her nose in her phone it's almost a lost cause. So hard to break the ice. Anyone have a good ice breaker for that one?

Borrow a dog and take for a walk great ice breaker.
Be yourself normal conversations and a sense of humour goes a long way.

It is possible the average Joe can end up with a hottie? Yes I've seen it.

Musclepower777 · Apr 2, 2026

Ahri said:
That would be a pretty good business lol..

It’s funny how many guys on dating apps use dog pics that aren’t even their own

Following this question though, what are some Red flags that men should look out for that we often rarely notice when it comes to dating or approaching women? And what are your thoughts on escorts acting as WingWomen?

Mandala · Apr 3, 2026

Musclepower777 said:
Following this question though, what are some Red flags that men should look out for that we often rarely notice when it comes to dating or approaching women? And what are your thoughts on escorts acting as WingWomen?

Wing girl women paid to go out with you? Sounds cool idea and could break you out of shell but very expensive

Red flag is she intentionally acts disinterested because she is

Marni is a wing girl but she is always trying to get you to buy a course so she is motivated by $$$$$ but I find her comments solid

Bing Videos

Patron · Apr 3, 2026

What the serious fuck? Wing dog and wing hooker to find a girlfriend.

Dogs have a serious purpose of lifelong loyalty and friendship.

And so do sex workers. They fuck you and give genuine companionship as long as the meter hasn’t expired.

Some of this shit must be AI generated.

Treat dogs and sex workers with some respect. They aren’t there just to be used for this nonsense.

If traditional “romantic” relationships were so great, half the guys here wouldn’t be seeing sex workers as a relief from their wife/girlfriend.

On the other hand, a letter from the girlfriend of someone who might actually do any this might finally kill off irritating 80 some year old Dear Abby (the daughter of the original). Dear Abby, I thought I had found the perfect guy, but his dog was borrowed from the pound and returned, and his female friend was a hooker he paid full price for, but didn’t fuck. I think there might be something badly wrong with him.

Sa10 · Apr 3, 2026

It’s mostly true. It’s called Mate Choice Copying, or a halo effect in more casual terms.

Mate Choice Copying in Humans - PubMed

There is substantial evidence that in human mate choice, females directly select males based on male display of both physical and behavioral traits. In non-humans, there is additionally a growing literature on indirect mate choice, such as choice through observing and subsequently copying the...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

But ‘wing woman ‘ is the wrong approach. Hiring an attractive woman to be a date or a gf will work much better.

The art of approaching women

Member

Well-known member

Active member

There was a star danced, and under that was I born

There was a star danced, and under that was I born

Well-known member

Member

Member

Well-known member

Member

Batman

Well-known member

Time Zone Traveller

Well-known member

Time Zone Traveller

Well-known member

Member

Active member

Well-known member

Batman