How do you manage emotions?

Sundercover · Mar 22, 2026

Sometimes I find myself on a rollercoaster... immensely excited before, awesome time during, but a feeling of loss and longing after... When I am with a girl I really connect with then it can feel quite painful for a day or two after I see her, or even everytime I think about her, until I make plans to book again. I can tell that a part of me wants more, wants to be more for her, despite knowing that that's exactly not what it can become and that it takes away from fully living in the bliss of what I DID have.

On the other hand, if my expectations aren't quite met I sometimes have a tough time to hold on to what was good rather than starting to regret even going there... like focusing on what service wasn't delivered, etc.

Does that sound familiar to anyone? How do you deal with these feelings after the meeting? Especially that euphoria turning to a feeling of "loss"?
I'm curious and feeling a bit reflective today lol

rexscott · Mar 22, 2026

Hi. Sounds like you're like me, a Highly Sensitive Person. It comes with dizzying highs and terrifying lows. It's just something you have to recognize is how you work, and try as best you can to live with it.

ben_dover · Mar 22, 2026

Are you looking for a relationship? If so, you are in the wrong hobby.

NadiaLovechanko · Mar 22, 2026

Sundercover said:
Sometimes I find myself on a rollercoaster... immensely excited before, awesome time during, but a feeling of loss and longing after... When I am with a girl I really connect with then it can feel quite painful for a day or two after I see her, or even everytime I think about her, until I make plans to book again. I can tell that a part of me wants more, wants to be more for her, despite knowing that that's exactly not what it can become and that it takes away from fully living in the bliss of what I DID have.

On the other hand, if my expectations aren't quite met I sometimes have a tough time to hold on to what was good rather than starting to regret even going there... like focusing on what service wasn't delivered, etc.

Does that sound familiar to anyone? How do you deal with these feelings after the meeting? Especially that euphoria turning to a feeling of "loss"?
I'm curious and feeling a bit reflective today lol

I think maybe a sugar baby relationship might be a bit better suited for you than just "quick dates"
As you will be able to have more moments with the woman of your choosing as well as being able to hear from her during the month as well

I think the important thing is finding someone you can connect with outside of the bedroom just as well as inside, true friendships can develop & that just makes this a whole lot more fun

Fluor · Mar 22, 2026

Sundercover said:
Sometimes I find myself on a rollercoaster... immensely excited before, awesome time during, but a feeling of loss and longing after... When I am with a girl I really connect with then it can feel quite painful for a day or two after I see her, or even everytime I think about her, until I make plans to book again. I can tell that a part of me wants more, wants to be more for her, despite knowing that that's exactly not what it can become and that it takes away from fully living in the bliss of what I DID have.

On the other hand, if my expectations aren't quite met I sometimes have a tough time to hold on to what was good rather than starting to regret even going there... like focusing on what service wasn't delivered, etc.

Does that sound familiar to anyone? How do you deal with these feelings after the meeting? Especially that euphoria turning to a feeling of "loss"?
I'm curious and feeling a bit reflective today lol

Yeah I’ve totally been there…

I think part of it is that your brain gets a taste of something that feels real and meaningful, and then struggles when it realizes it can’t actually grow into more. That contrast can hit pretty hard, like a kind of emotional hangover.

The tricky part is not letting your mind turn it into something it isn’t meant to be… I still struggle with that too sometimes, especially when the connection feels mutual.

I feel like not seeing them too often, switching provider and focus on other aspect of life can help... But yeah... it kind of makes you question what you’re actually looking for underneath all that.

Giƅ Sinep · Mar 22, 2026

I've buried two dogs, given another away, buried two parents, several other beloved family members ... and my wife.

Be glad that you're not as numb as I am yet.

mig65 · Mar 22, 2026

Honestly when I meetup with a provider it never gets emotional for me. I always look at it as a business transaction. I only see two providers on a regular basis. I have read reviews here of others but when I meet with them I have been disappointed. So now I just stick with what I know.

Tango Urilla · Mar 22, 2026

They don’t care about you, all they care about is your money so there should be zero emotions on your part.

Fluor · Mar 22, 2026

Tango Urilla said:
They don’t care about you, all they care about is your money so there should be zero emotions on your part.

You're wrong to make that kind of generalization.

lundunguy · Mar 22, 2026

Try to spend some time with yourself

Giƅ Sinep · Mar 22, 2026

Tango Urilla said:
They don’t care about you, all they care about is your money so there should be zero emotions on your part.

It's possible to do both sex and respect.

newguy2201 · Mar 22, 2026

I wonder if maybe you have too much invested in seeing these girls. This is supposed to be a fantasy escape from your everyday life, and a sexual release.

If you are having this kind of reaction and dopamine hit and crash etc, it makes me think that perhaps you are looking to this hobby for more than it is intended for

The feelings you are feeling are not about the woman or women you are seeing. The women are just making you aware of the feelings that were inside of you all along

You sound like someone who craves real connection, but this is not how to find it. How are you doing in your real life?

Do you have friends, family, women that you talk to? Are you living your best life, taking care of yourself, perhaps working towards finding real relationships?

I get the sense that maybe you feel like these girls are the only source of attention and affection for you

If that's the case, you might want to change that.

Sundercover · Mar 23, 2026

newguy2201 said:
I wonder if maybe you have too much invested in seeing these girls. This is supposed to be a fantasy escape from your everyday life, and a sexual release.

If you are having this kind of reaction and dopamine hit and crash etc, it makes me think that perhaps you are looking to this hobby for more than it is intended for

The feelings you are feeling are not about the woman or women you are seeing. The women are just making you aware of the feelings that were inside of you all along

You sound like someone who craves real connection, but this is not how to find it. How are you doing in your real life?

Do you have friends, family, women that you talk to? Are you living your best life, taking care of yourself, perhaps working towards finding real relationships?

I get the sense that maybe you feel like these girls are the only source of attention and affection for you

If that's the case, you might want to change that.

Yeah, I think that is very true for someone in a situation where they are lonely and use this hobby to replace something missing in their life. Thankfully I have a very solid relationship and life outside of the hobby

I also think protecting oneself by keeping it very transactional is one way to protect yourself emotionally... doesn't seem to work for me. As @rexscott put it, sensitive person lol.

I'm curious to hear more thoughts. It's been great reading everyone's input so far.

Mandalorian · Mar 23, 2026

You seem like a genuinely nice guy, and I’m sure the girls who see you in this field are happy to have a fellow like you as a client, but you are a client, so don’t lose sight of that and invest too much emotional attachment to it. If you go see dental hygienist for a cleaning you wouldn’t feel emotional attachment after she’s spent 45 mins alone with you, chatted about your day and you left feeling better right? It’s pretty much the same thing. Any more feelings beyond that and you’d be fooling yourself.

Fluor · Mar 23, 2026

Mandalorian said:
You seem like a genuinely nice guy, and I’m sure the girls who see you in this field are happy to have a fellow like you as a client, but you are a client, so don’t lose sight of that and invest too much emotional attachment to it. If you go see dental hygienist for a cleaning you wouldn’t feel emotional attachment after she’s spent 45 mins alone with you, chatted about your day and you left feeling better right? It’s pretty much the same thing. Any more feelings beyond that and you’d be fooling yourself.

Hell, I've gotten emotionally attached from a 2-minute interaction with a cashier

But no, it’s not the same thing. Repeated 1-on-1 time, physical closeness, and personal conversations over months will naturally create some level of attachment. That’s just basic human psychology.

The difference is not whether attachment happens, it’s whether you stay in control of it.

I also have a full life outside of that : friends, work, training, travel. This isn’t filling a void. It's just something I enjoy.

guy112233 · Mar 23, 2026

Fluor said:
Hell, I've gotten emotionally attached from a 2-minute interaction with a cashier

But no, it’s not the same thing. Repeated 1-on-1 time, physical closeness, and personal conversations over months will naturally create some level of attachment. That’s just basic human psychology.

The difference is not whether attachment happens, it’s whether you stay in control of it.

I also have a full life outside of that : friends, work, training, travel. This isn’t filling a void. It's just something I enjoy.

Yeah, I've been recently seeing a MA repeatedly. I'm totally hooked. I should probably add more variety.

BeeZeeBoi · Mar 23, 2026

Giƅ Sinep said:
I've buried two dogs, given another away, buried two parents, several other beloved family members ... and my wife.

Be glad that you're not as numb as I am yet.

Sitting on the dark side of the moon
The cold came to soon
I wanted to cry
My eyes were dry

My smiles lie
I'm already dead inside
The cum I laid on your face
Was from a lonely empty place

Giƅ Sinep · Mar 23, 2026

BeeZeeBoi said:
Sitting on the dark side of the moon
The cold came to soon
I wanted to cry
My eyes were dry

My smiles lie
I'm already dead inside
The cum I laid on your face
Was from a lonely empty place

Ha!
Waters is a horrible human being, but an OK songwriter....
:/

ShenaniganD · Mar 23, 2026

I think it’s normal to feel remorse when a situation doesn’t work out as intended, so the feeling of why do I even bother I have had several times.

As someone that has made several mistakes because I rush into situations, sometimes you need to take a step back and reflect. This hobby can easily become overwhelming if you let it, so you need to identify to yourself why you do this and what are your actual needs and intentions.

This is going to sound horribly corny, but I believe OLG says it best. “Know your limit and play within it”.

There is no 100% method out there, not always will people connect and when they do, cherish those moments.

ArgoHater · Mar 23, 2026

I think @NadiaLovechanko post hit the nail directly on the head.

How do you manage emotions?

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