AMA | Reflections on my two year break from seeing escorts

Two years ago was my last session with an escort.
Feel free to Ask Me Anything.

TL;DR:
I'm not celebrating this as some achievement. But I acknowledge it as an anniversary. Visiting escorts is great and I encourage it if you show them respect, practice safe habits, and manage your finances sensibly. And while I miss my favourite ladies and desire an opportunity to see them again (plus to meet all the new faces I have yet to see...) I'm content directing my cash to other endeavours (and women in my personal life) at least for now.


= FULL EXPLANATION =
March 2026 marks two years since my last time with an escort. As I reflect on two years away, I'd like to share my insights.


= DATING =
I focus on either dating civilian women OR visiting escorts. Never both at the same time. Between recent relationships I almost came back a few times but didn't. Hot damn I came close to coming back! But at most I'll get a massage with basic finish but again only do that between relationships, never while dating someone.

The dating scene has changed. Women I meet tell me awful dating stories. Apparently by showing them basic kindness and respect, I'm considered a better catch than 90% of the guys they've met recently. The bar is so low it's on the floor yet many dudes still find a way to dig a hole under it.

And the reason? For some, it's zero emotional intelligence. For others, it's looking for a new Mom and not a partner. But for some it's this whole "alpha bro" / "Manosphere" mindset of male superiority that convinces some men to treat women like shit. It simply doesn't work on most women, which shouldn't be shocking. The guys who believe in it are partly to blame for their own anger and loneliness issues. They think acting as if men are superior - ergo, acting as if women are inferior - will make women swoon?? It would be laughable if it wasn't so pathetically sad and at times dangerous. Women want to laugh, feel safe, and be treated like an actual person. It's really that easy. And since so many guys these days can't handle even that, it's made my dating life a helluva lot easier to snag wonderful women by just showing up and being kind.


= SEXUALITY =
What feels like a lifetime ago, I started seeing escorts because I had no time for dating. Then it evolved into wanting to explore my sexuality and expand my experiences with willing professionals. I've banged tiny spinners, BBWs, and every body type in between. I've fooled around with 21 year old college babes and 60+ year old GILFs, and most ages in between. Unlocked new possibilities and explored them. Enjoyed various kinks, roles, and mindsets. "Getting off with a hot babe" has never been my top priority, although yes that's always a fun benefit. No, it's mainly been about exploring my sexual potential: Building connection with the right people to share new experiences that unlock even better sex.

Having broadened my horizons and experiences, I've been able to dive deeper into tantric practice. Now I can masturbate to attain and maintain orgasm for several minutes at a time. And the best orgasms I'm having occur without porn. My hope is to bring a partner to sustained orgasm as well, so we can both remain inside the experience indefinitely. That's the dream. But most partners don't have the patience and just want to get off again lol


= SO WHY KEEP VISITING TERB? =
I've continued to visit TERB to help newbies with advice, to praise the lovely women I've met when people have questions (in hopes it may drive more business to those women I adore), and to investigate potential scams by scouring the internet to protect my fellow board members. I appreaciate the many members I've learned from over the years and I'm proud to see newer members pick up habits that benefit all of us. Cheers to all of you who try to make this a welcoming, respectful, and respectable place.


= LEOLIST =
I still browse Leolist to see who's in the neighbourhood because it brings a smile to my face. Yes, that website is full of scams. But every single time that I browse Hamilton, Burlington, Oakville, and Mississauga, I'll find ads for some of the most beloved, highly reviewed, well respected escorts in the business. On a typical day I'll see ads for a half dozen women I've already met and another half dozen on my To See List. Knowing an old favourite is nearby makes my day because I get to remember all the fun times we had.

And to address the oft-repeated misconception:
Visiting an escort who advertises on Leolist doesn't automatically mean you'll get scammed;
Visiting an escort with zero reviews and who is completely unknown is what MIGHT get you scammed.

I like the Craigslist/Kijiji analogy: You wouldn't e-transfer $300 to some random Kijiji ad to buy a phone from a random guy you've never met... but if that Kijiji ad is for a reputable company in your town which has positive reviews and your buddy even said he got stuff from them with no issue... you suddenly realize it's not Leolist that's the problem, it's visiting escorts with no reviews, no history, and no reason to trust that they're real. So be sensible (I know that's asking a lot lol) to stay safe out there.


= DISCREET IDENTITY =
I've noticed a trend lately: More and more people I know in my personal life becoming escorts. They're not telling me. But when that tattoo is unique or they're "face out" it's simple to identify them in an ad. Obviously, I've never booked with them and never bring it up in conversation. As far as we both know, the other has nothing to do with this industry. I'd like to keep it that way, both to respect their privacy and to live up to the "Discreet" in my username.

But it's yet another reason I'm glad I'm on a break: It's only a matter of time before I'd visit someone whose ads hide their face and blur their tattoos, only to open the door to someone I know. The closest I've come is finding an ad with a blurred face that interested me until I Googled their phone number and found an unblurred face photo from another ad: It was someone I knew so I didn't reach out.

Additionally, I've seen a trend of more new women entering the industry who accidentally share a personal email address on their Leolist ad, or re-use a personal phone number that's posted elsewhere, allowing people to find their civilian identity. 90% of the time when I reach out to alert them to the accidental self-dox, they immediately take it down and thank me. Quick, easy, helpful.

Escorts have a difficult job. Too many clients make their lives difficult, stressful, and sometimes dangerous. Frankly, it's hypocritical for clients to benefit from the wonderful experiences they provide and then rant their disgust for the industry or working women in general. Sure, vent frustrations for a bad experience but don't turn sour against all working women, nor their industry in general. No, these wonderful workers deserve support in what they do, especially in maintaining their privacy and security when an accidental slip-up occurs. We should look out for each other. It shouldn't be radical to lead with kindness. The safer we make the industry, the better time we'll all have.


= MY RETURN =
I have no plans to return to visiting you breathtakingly beautiful, soul enriching, heartwarming, delightful escorts... but never say never. If I fall in love then I'll be retired for good. If I stop enjoying the dating scene, I'll probably call up one of my favourites. Hell, my list of women to meet is still over 200 names long, with my Top Tier To Visit list closer to 20 names, and so many faces I've already met who I want to see again. Perhaps many of whom will have retired by the time I look them up...? Time will tell.


Thank you for reading if you've made it this far. I assume most people didn't LOL But it felt good to reflect on these last two years. Feel free to Ask Me Anything. Just know that there are some questions I won't answer (e.g.: my To Meet List is for my eyes only) but no harm in asking.
~ D.R.

In two years? A lot more often between girlfriends, that's for sure!

SaulGoodman777 said:

How many times did you 'wank'?

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lol You might want to take the advice of your own signature: "Be curious, not judgmental."

But to answer your question: My last girlfriend wanted kids. I don't. We had fun for a while then high-fived and parted ways on good terms. That's why I'm single right now.

xix said:

WTF?
At first it Sounded like you found Jesus, then Gynofascism, then some simp.

The one question which would reveal is this to you ( since you asked for questions ) - Why you still single?

Woman complaining about men been low? Yeah sure.......

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Happy to answer!

Basic Stats:
Age: Early 40s guy.
Area: I live along the Hamilton/Burlington/Oakville/Mississauga corridor in Ontario.
Duration: I started visiting escorts around... I think 2014? Around there.

Enjoyment:
Oh hell yeah, I still enjoyed seeing escorts. Over those 12-ish years I would take breaks once in a while to date, then go back to escorts, then back-and-forth.

Two years ago I took a break to focus on a temporary financial situation and then just stayed in the dating world and haven't been back to escorts since. Between girlfriends I almost came back a few times but then met someone new before I could.

newguy2201 said:

Can we get some basic stats? How long did you hobby for? Approx age?

And did you just stop enjoying the hobby? Or were you specifically looking for something that relationships provide that hobbying does not?

Lots of questions I know, and I may have more

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NOTE: I've added user xix to my Ignore list. His comments just don't make sense. Nothing about dislike or disagreement, he literally just says things that are nonsensical. Don't want to waste my time. So, you won't see me answering any more of his questions in this thread. If he actually asks something you're interested in knowing the answer to, please repeat it yourself, whoever you are.

Age & Enjoyment:
I enjoyed visiting escorts every age I've done it. I wouldn't say my age correlated with more or less enjoyment. What mattered most was the connection I made with each person I met.

Falling in Love with Escorts:
I'm lucky enough to have never fallen in love with any of the ladies I've met. But... I've definitely felt a close connection to several. When I'd return and they asked about how that particular work event went, or how I was dealing with a life stress I'd mentioned previously, it showed they actually cared enough about me to remember and to ask. That feels great.

Everyone has bias:
People who think negatively of escorts will say it's a trick to foster more business;
people who recognize escorts are real people with real feelings will say it's because they care about us as people too.
I'm in the latter camp: Of course we're clients and it's a business transaction, but even in my professional life I care about my clients too, so of course some women will care about theirs, like me. Sometimes. And when it happens, I've definitely felt a friendship bond and sometimes gotten a crush on them. Not fallen in love but an innocent crush. But I recognize it for what it is, a combination of: 1) Hormones and physical attraction; 2) An emotional connection that doesn't need anything outside the appointment time; 3) A business transaction for their time; 4) A natural, healthy reaction to being intimate with someone. Anyone who says these appointments are only business de-humanizes the lovely women who do this work, in my opinion. Sure, some escorts don't give a shit about their clients or even actively hate the men they see. I don't see those escorts. I see well-reviewed, happy, healthy women who are genuinely warm people. So, recognizing any potential feelings as a mixture of all four realities I mentioned helps me compartmentalize any feelings that come up and embrace those feelings during our appointments and not outside of them.

Independent vs Agency:
Both are great for what they are.
Agencies are great especially if you're new. They'll take care of you and be able to respond to messages even when their ladies are in an appointment. Especially great for planning ahead in a way that many independent women simply choose not to do, since they typically post weekly schedules ahead of time.
Independent is great when you find someone who seems to fit especially what you're looking for. And you know they take 100% of the appointment fee themselves, unlike agencies who naturally take a cut for the services they provide.

What I've Missed Being Away:
Several things: Mostly catching up with my favourite women. Getting laid and titties in my face between relationships. But when I'm in a relationship the sex is more frequent (multiple times per day, almost every day) and more patient (I can bang my partner for multiple hours without watching the clock). I also miss the variety and the thrill of meeting someone new.

Advice for newbies:

• Read THE CODE: https://terb.cc/xenforo/threads/the-code.820993/
• Only see escorts with positive reviews from established TERB members, not just new TERB members.
• Just book the damn appointment. I know Newbies sometimes think "Should I? Shouldn't I?" for longer than the appointment would've been. If you're nervous that's normal, just do it anyway.
• If someone posts "she's a scam!!" in a review, verify what they mean. It could be that they were a shitty client with a smelly dick so the lady didn't want to give BBBJ, opting to offer CBJ. Or it could mean they were the victim of violence. Or it could mean the photos in their ad were fake but she still looked mostly the same and it was a good time. Clarify.
• Seeing an OnlyFans link in an ad isn't a red flag by itself. But if they say "Message me on OF to book an appointment!" that is a guaranteed lie because OF will ban users for suggesting meetups on their platform. It's a trick to get you to subscribe.
• Get tested at least once every three months. Many STIs don't show symptoms right away and the longer you wait to get treatment the worse you'll be.

Cheers!

Tylerlockwood said:

Got some questions , if you don’t mind , at what age would you say you really enjoyed hobbying, ever falling in love with an SP , Indy’s or agency , what would you say you have missed since you took your break ?
And also any advice to a newbie ?

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