Ok this one's been on my mind since I joined this forum. Its topical at least. Heard this from a work buddy circa 1992:
A guy goes into a brothel late at night with a rock hard boner. He's desperate to fuck something, anything.
The Madam says "sorry pal, all the ladies are busy tonight"
He says "no please! You don't understand! I have to fuck something now!"
She says, "well my pussy doesn't work anymore but I have a glass eye. I'll pop it out and you can fuck the socket. $50"
DEAL!! He says, and he proceeds to pound the shit out of the madams eye socket.
After he comes he say "holy shit! That was the best fuck of my life!! I'm definitely coming back to see you"
She says, "all right, I'll keep an eye out for ya"
Ba da dum!!