Time for some laughter? Please share yours...
- Thread starter Kusa
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Hey mom, what does a pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone did not pull out in time.
A blonde goes to the doctor and asks the doctor why do I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina? The doctor replies there not postage stamps their labels from bananas.
God: you’re about to get your wings! Me: garlic, chili, hot and spicy, or Buffalo? God: get out.
Listen up all, if you get a loan at the bank you will be paying on it for the next 30 years! If you rob a bank you will be out in 10 years! Follow me for more financial advice.
When I applied for my job, they asked me if I had any disabilities? I told him that I had narcolepsy and Tourette’s. So now I get to sleep at work and when the boss gets mad at me I can tell him to fuck off because there’s not shit he can do about it.
I decided to cause trouble today. I went into a restaurant and seen that every table was occupied by lovely couples. I took my phone out and made a very loud call saying…. Yes girl! Your man is here with another woman. Come see for yourself. 8 men got up and ran out.
Someone did not pull out in time.
A blonde goes to the doctor and asks the doctor why do I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina? The doctor replies there not postage stamps their labels from bananas.
God: you’re about to get your wings! Me: garlic, chili, hot and spicy, or Buffalo? God: get out.
Listen up all, if you get a loan at the bank you will be paying on it for the next 30 years! If you rob a bank you will be out in 10 years! Follow me for more financial advice.
When I applied for my job, they asked me if I had any disabilities? I told him that I had narcolepsy and Tourette’s. So now I get to sleep at work and when the boss gets mad at me I can tell him to fuck off because there’s not shit he can do about it.
I decided to cause trouble today. I went into a restaurant and seen that every table was occupied by lovely couples. I took my phone out and made a very loud call saying…. Yes girl! Your man is here with another woman. Come see for yourself. 8 men got up and ran out.
If a man and a woman get married they need a marriage license question, what do lesbians need…. A liquor license.
What does a priest and McDonald’s have in common? They both like to stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Did you hear about the 2 lesbians suing there contractor? Contractor used nails and the lesbians wanted tongue and groove.
Did you know what the secret is for a senior to have a smoking hot body? Cremation.
2 gay deers walk out of the bar and one says to the other I can’t believe I blew 50 bucks there.
What does a 9 V battery and a butthole have in common? You know, you’re not supposed to put your tongue on it but you still do.
What do lesbians do when they’re on there period.? Finger paint.
The FDA announced new medications for lesbians that are in depression, it’s called tri-Cox again.
Mommy why do ladies have balloons? Well when we die we can float to heaven. Aunt Sally must really want to go to heaven, last night daddy was blowing up her balloons, and she was yelling I’m coming I’m coming.
What does a priest and McDonald’s have in common? They both like to stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Did you hear about the 2 lesbians suing there contractor? Contractor used nails and the lesbians wanted tongue and groove.
Did you know what the secret is for a senior to have a smoking hot body? Cremation.
2 gay deers walk out of the bar and one says to the other I can’t believe I blew 50 bucks there.
What does a 9 V battery and a butthole have in common? You know, you’re not supposed to put your tongue on it but you still do.
What do lesbians do when they’re on there period.? Finger paint.
The FDA announced new medications for lesbians that are in depression, it’s called tri-Cox again.
Mommy why do ladies have balloons? Well when we die we can float to heaven. Aunt Sally must really want to go to heaven, last night daddy was blowing up her balloons, and she was yelling I’m coming I’m coming.
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Daughter- dad I have a flat tire .dad did you call your boyfriend .daughter I tried he didn’t answer
dad do you have a spare daughter he didn’t answer either.
How about instead of deporting all those illegal aliens we let them hunt down 5 child predators for papers and call it aliens versus predators.
Imagine the disappoint meant when the Chinese Taurus gets back to China opens their souvenirs that they bought here and it says made in China.
Did you hear about the woman that broke up the man smallest penis? When his friends asked him if he was okay he replied, I’m really not into her.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A butt load.
What do boobs and toys have in common? They’re both made for kids, but dads like to play with them.
What is the difference between a priest and Woody from toy story? Woody goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What did the forgetful prostitute say to her pimp? I don’t know what came over me.
2 nuns are riding their bikes when they turned down a cobblestone path, the one none turns to the other and says I’ve never come this way. She says me neither it must be the cobblestones.
How is drinking non-alcoholic beer and going down on your sister the same? It tastes the same but you know it’s not just right.
dad do you have a spare daughter he didn’t answer either.
How about instead of deporting all those illegal aliens we let them hunt down 5 child predators for papers and call it aliens versus predators.
Imagine the disappoint meant when the Chinese Taurus gets back to China opens their souvenirs that they bought here and it says made in China.
Did you hear about the woman that broke up the man smallest penis? When his friends asked him if he was okay he replied, I’m really not into her.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A butt load.
What do boobs and toys have in common? They’re both made for kids, but dads like to play with them.
What is the difference between a priest and Woody from toy story? Woody goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What did the forgetful prostitute say to her pimp? I don’t know what came over me.
2 nuns are riding their bikes when they turned down a cobblestone path, the one none turns to the other and says I’ve never come this way. She says me neither it must be the cobblestones.
How is drinking non-alcoholic beer and going down on your sister the same? It tastes the same but you know it’s not just right.
Breaking news. Men all over the world are asking if booty wasn’t meant to be eaten why is it between 2 buns?
Quick question according to your own understanding should men do the dishes? Definitely not, why? It is illegal for men to compete in a woman’s sport.
Do you know why men are great cooks? Well with 2 eggs and a sausage, they can fill a belly for 9 months.
Son what brings you here today? Father I keep hearing voices telling me what to do. I think I’m possessed by a demon. No, son you’re married.
I went in the library and said to the assistant, I said have you got that that new book out for gentlemen with small Cock? She said, it’s not in yet. I said yes that’s the one.
I was just thinking winning a multi-million-dollar lottery that could be wife changing.
A man gives blood to his wife to keep her alive, later they split up and he says I want my fucking blood back! So the wife throws her tampon at him and says I’ll pay monthly.
Quick question according to your own understanding should men do the dishes? Definitely not, why? It is illegal for men to compete in a woman’s sport.
Do you know why men are great cooks? Well with 2 eggs and a sausage, they can fill a belly for 9 months.
Son what brings you here today? Father I keep hearing voices telling me what to do. I think I’m possessed by a demon. No, son you’re married.
I went in the library and said to the assistant, I said have you got that that new book out for gentlemen with small Cock? She said, it’s not in yet. I said yes that’s the one.
I was just thinking winning a multi-million-dollar lottery that could be wife changing.
A man gives blood to his wife to keep her alive, later they split up and he says I want my fucking blood back! So the wife throws her tampon at him and says I’ll pay monthly.
Brian Kiley joke: “ I was driving past the neighborhood I grew up in, and I saw my old house. I knocked on the door, and said I grew up here, would it be alright if I came in and took a look around? And, reluctantly, …..my parents let me in.”
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Finally, a dog park for guys in relationships!
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love colin and che they always tend to make me crack up especially those christmas joke swaps
