The art of approaching women

Confidence, smile, be funny, be a bit of dick but smile. Also, don’t be afraid of rejection, their only women. Just say okay cool. Don’t ever say sorry. Also try brushing your teeth, have a mints or gum, be well groomed. It’s not hard. Also remember it’s a numbers game. Approach dozens. Also good practice as well builds confidence.That’s just how it is for men.
Again can’t stress this enough, don’t be afraid they’re just women.

Mandala said:

I really meant men have to make a woman feel safe

women do not have to make men feel safe

therefore, a womans approach is different than a mans approach. One difference is giving her more space

Click to expand...

Got it. I thought maybe I was reading it wrong.

Mandala said:

I meant men have to make a woman feel safe

women do not have to make men feel safe

therefore, a womans approach is different than a mans approach.

men shoud keep more physical distance when they approach
no sexual talk
do not compliment on her physical beauty but something about what she has done to look nice like style of dressing, her presense, her hair cut, the environment

Click to expand...

Solid point. SHE DOES NOT SEE YOU AS A NICE GUY, THAT IS HOW YO SEE YOURSELF, BUT SHE SEES YOU AS A POTENTIAL THREAT.

As I said, peole remember how you made them feel. You need to put yourself in her shoes.


Keep a safe distance just close enough so she can hear you. Then get closer if she gives signals.


I Have has women hug me when I would have never initiated it. They hugged because wanted to but needed to feel safe first. Just be yourself but people do not know how. Too much self defeating talk.
Do not expect every woman to be attracted to you as that expectation is unrealistic.
JUST REMEMBER THE ONES THAT DO.

I knew a guy once - long time ago - ex army - balls of steel type - would stand in the doorway of a bar and ask every girl that came in "wanna fuck?" - he would do it in a cheeky way and get away with it. Bar wasnt the best of bars - bit seedy - but he would go home with a girl every night. We'd all think he was crass but often he was the only one getting some. I guess girls liked the cheek and confidence and he played the numbers game.

I've picked up girls in clubs and bars but those NEVER ended up going anywhere. I've also had some success with old school dating sites back in the day - adult friend finder etc. The most success I have had is with social circle game - nearly all my long time girlfriends I have been introduced to have been through mutual friends and work colleagues. I find it best if you are in a group of people who all go out together a lot. Happened more when I was younger. Married now and haven't needed to date for 20 years...

I guess if I was single again I'd have to do what all the books say and make myself a better man - work out more etc... and sign up for some class... what class is mostly women? Thats what I'd be researching... even if it was lame... but not too lame - cooking but not flower arranging etc... I'm not exactly Brad Pitt - definitely a 5 I'd say.... but I'm pretty social and have no problems getting a convo going in a social situation... Then I listen... listen and listen some more.... Its the simple stuff that works... Girls are into psychology maybe I'd look for an evening class in that.

Or what was that movie with Hugh Grant... didnt he go to a group for single parents? You could try that... ha ha..

EDIT: Oh and one I forgot to mention - I have worked as a barman.... Not for too long but I've done it a few time and each time I got action like crazy.. You get the pick of the lonely ladies that are left at the end of the night. I'd get chatting... I wouldn't put on any moves... but those who were interested would come back to the bar other nights and just chat... like shooting monkeys in a barrel.

Based on what I am seeing on dating apps, in my demographic which is women 40-50, the best ROI would be to get a dog and go to the dog park.

Every single divorced women seems to have a dog these days.

Zoot Allures said:

I never meant to imply that this thread is about approaching only super hot babes, but , as this is TERB I should have specified.

But now you got me thinking, the approach is different between the hot babes and the GND.

Some thoughts to spark conversation


1 Not all super hot babes will signal no interest because they do not get approached as beauty is intimidating. That is a fact

2 To get over approached the most I suspect you need to be over a 6 and less than 10, 7 ad 8 is the sweet spot

3 When I try to start a conversation with a 8 or 9 I oten get cold vibes as they get approached too often so I have said a joke about how I am not coming on because I cannot grace beauty the way it deserves then keep talking often they quickly change and we have had a date as friends and hug each other at the end

4 GNDs need a stronger signal thrown their way as they fear rejection or just say hello but always be respectful

5 It cuts both ways. Turn things around. I have had interest signalled when I was not interested which is fine but I would not want to be come on to strongly
so women are the same way. Easy to uunderstand. They are not conceited just want some privacy.

Click to expand...

I actually disagree with this. Most people have heard this opinion, but that’s just not how statistics works and it definitely hasn’t been my experience. The 10’s get approached way more, because there exists men that are generally ok with approaching women in public and men that don’t because they are too shy/nervous. The guys that don’t approach at all don’t get factored into the equation, so that just leaves the confident men who don’t see a problem in approaching women. Sure there might be the oddballs who deliberately approach 5s or 6s to “practice social confidence” because it’s less intimidating, but unless you’re 19 years old with no social experience with women then that’s just a waste of time.

From my experience, if I’m gonna approach a woman in public and face rejection, I’m only gonna do it do with a perfect 10 in my opinion, because then I can justify the risk, and it actually seems worth it if it works out. If not, then meh, checks out as well.
Any guy with approaching experience or chatting up women in public knows that a mid 5 with an attitude can reject you just as hard as a 10, so why take the risk?

It is not complicated

Make sure she is allowing you into her space

Use a simple opening line to get her attention. There is no need to over complicate things.

Never use pickup lines. Be yourself

Show your sense of humour. Laughter is the way to a woman’s heart, if she is interested she will laugh at lame jokes

Direct eye contact

Gentle compliment


If you don’t tell her you’re sexually interested at some point , she’ll start to wonder why you’re talking to her in the first place. Women want to see backbone

Be honest with everything you say.

Mandala said:

It is not complicated

Make sure she is allowing you into her space

Use a simple opening line to get her attention. There is no need to over complicate things.

Never use pickup lines. Be yourself

Show your sense of humour. Laughter is the way to a woman’s heart, if she is interested she will laugh at lame jokes

Direct eye contact

Gentle compliment

Click to expand...

Remember reading the book "Alfie" He mentioned, " get e'm laughing. That's all you get" Gilber Gottfried. "women are crawling over Tom Selleck to get to Buddy Hackett".

newguy2201 said:

Based on what I am seeing on dating apps, in my demographic which is women 40-50, the best ROI would be to get a dog and go to the dog park.

Every single divorced women seems to have a dog these days.

Click to expand...

Is there a white person between 20-40 that does not have a dog in this godforsaken city ?

Good Lord. The next Internet tutorial might get some guys to accept Singledom.

”Wing Dog - How to convince your dog to immediately like her dog.”

Patron said:

Good Lord. The next Internet tutorial might get some guys to accept Singledom.

”Wing Dog - How to convince your dog to immediately like her dog.”

Click to expand...

I can't remember but there was a B movie where the guy had the dog trained to do two things. Hit on her dog/pet or her then he would do the rest.

260304D

One thing I read one time was just to practice chatting to women ALL the time - not just ones you fancy - any and everyone - girls, guys...whoever. Doing this you get used to chatting everyone which makes it easier to approach and chat to someone you DO fancy. I used to be completely shy growing up but now I'm in a habit of chatting to anyone everywhere... nothing annoying - but where situations might call for it - coffee shop line ups etc...

You do not have to be Trump to want compliments everyone does.
No big deal just be natural then change topic quickly do not even give them time to respond

1 make compliment it true
2 compliment not their beauty but something they have done to look nice
IE color choice, how confident it makes them look, accessories etc they put effort into it
3 smile

20 thoughtful ways to compliment someone's appearance

Be yourself has been mentioned and that seems crucial. It just happens,
but if you want to actively pursue women remember it is not about chasing but attracting and if you are actively pursuing the same advice seems relevant, just be yourself.

It is not about chasing but attracting someone to who you are.

Zoot Allures said:

Assume she will judge fast — shockingly fast-- don't you? I do.

Not because she is shallow, but because the human brain is built to make snap assessments, it’s survival wiring, deal with it.

So, reread the above post #4 on best quick first impression

Click to expand...

And women have higher intuition and more need for safety so she’s already assessed you and the surroundings

Be like James Bond - well dressed, and confident but very understated. Like an aloof confidence - but smiling and happy, not scary.

In doing this you beat all the cretins who -
a) dress like James Bond but who are incredibly cocky.
b) try to dress like James Bond but come across like Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses (look it up)
b) dress like they still live in their moms basement
c) wear pajamas or flip-flops in airports

Just being normal but smart - looking like you care about yourself - and being open and friendly. This beats 99% of people out there.

I have found in life and experience - and its very true - take a lesson in listening - active listening. You will be surprised how many women find that attractive. If you can add laughter to that mix - you are 007!

Sonic Temple said:

I have found in life and experience - and its very true - take a lesson in listening - active listening. You will be surprised how many women find that attractive. If you can add laughter to that mix - you are 007!

Click to expand...

People remember how you make them feel. Being a good listener means they talk the majority of the time.


When you listen it makes them feel important, builds trust and they feel safe. Safety is big concern with women that men under apprecaite. They feel safe expressing emotions, men do not get this. Women live in an emotional world men live in their heads. Yes, I looked it up.

Being a good listener means they talk the majority of the time as a guide line, not a rule.

But to the OP's question how to approach, I notice women and look for signals. I was unaware of a lot of signalling until a woman friend pointed out women that were signalling. Quite surprising as she said most men miss signals. I never realized I did.

Signalling makes total sense. Avoids unwanted advances and rejection. Lots of vids on signalling.