Time for some laughter? Please share yours...
- Thread starter Kusa
- Start date
I love farting in the cheese I’ll at the expense of grocery store and you hear all those new to the people talk about how lovely the cheese smells.
Sure, I can lose weight but I refuse to be a loser.
The only squat I’m used to doing is diddly.
My brother’s wife started noticing there child looked a little different as he got older. After 7 years of wondering, she finally did a DNA test. The results showed that the child wasn’t biologically there’s. When she told my brother, he looked confused and said don’t you remember do you? She stared at him. When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped. You told me to go and change him, so I went inside, grabbed a clean one and left the dirty one there. She fainted on the spot.
You all, I got kicked out of Walmarts break room today. When they asked me what I was doing in their, I replied I’m on break. They said you don’t even work here. I said I just used the self check out so technically I work here.
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening. She laughed, I laughed, Surrey laughed Alexa laughed, even the Tesla laughed.
A plumber is working under a sink when the homeowner walks in and kicks his ranch hey you brunette watch the tools! Yells the plumber. The homeowner locks down and says I’m not a brunette I’m a redhead. The plumber replies not from where I’m lying.
Grandpa! What are you doing on the porch with no pants on? I asked. He replied, well last week I sat out here with no shirt on to get a stiff neck. This was your grandma’s idea.
A pastor got a new set of false teeth and preached for only 8 minutes the 1st Sunday. The 2nd Sunday, he preached for 10 minutes. But on the 3rd Sunday he preached nonstop for nearly 3 hours. When the congregation finally helped him sit down, they asked if he was okay. He explained that his gums were sore after the 1st 2 Sundays. But on the 3rd Sunday, he had accidentally put his wife’s teeth and discovered he couldn’t shut up.
My mother got so high I let her borrow my car and when I asked why she didn’t bring it back to me yet? She said, I drove past your house and didn’t see your car there so I thought you weren’t home. Like what the flock mom you’re driving my car.
Sure, I can lose weight but I refuse to be a loser.
The only squat I’m used to doing is diddly.
My brother’s wife started noticing there child looked a little different as he got older. After 7 years of wondering, she finally did a DNA test. The results showed that the child wasn’t biologically there’s. When she told my brother, he looked confused and said don’t you remember do you? She stared at him. When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped. You told me to go and change him, so I went inside, grabbed a clean one and left the dirty one there. She fainted on the spot.
You all, I got kicked out of Walmarts break room today. When they asked me what I was doing in their, I replied I’m on break. They said you don’t even work here. I said I just used the self check out so technically I work here.
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening. She laughed, I laughed, Surrey laughed Alexa laughed, even the Tesla laughed.
A plumber is working under a sink when the homeowner walks in and kicks his ranch hey you brunette watch the tools! Yells the plumber. The homeowner locks down and says I’m not a brunette I’m a redhead. The plumber replies not from where I’m lying.
Grandpa! What are you doing on the porch with no pants on? I asked. He replied, well last week I sat out here with no shirt on to get a stiff neck. This was your grandma’s idea.
A pastor got a new set of false teeth and preached for only 8 minutes the 1st Sunday. The 2nd Sunday, he preached for 10 minutes. But on the 3rd Sunday he preached nonstop for nearly 3 hours. When the congregation finally helped him sit down, they asked if he was okay. He explained that his gums were sore after the 1st 2 Sundays. But on the 3rd Sunday, he had accidentally put his wife’s teeth and discovered he couldn’t shut up.
My mother got so high I let her borrow my car and when I asked why she didn’t bring it back to me yet? She said, I drove past your house and didn’t see your car there so I thought you weren’t home. Like what the flock mom you’re driving my car.
That ass... looks like two kids trying to sneak into the movies for free.
Auston Matthews should not make 'that face'. It makes his nose look like George Costanza's dick after a swim in cold water.
Trucker with a sense of humour. Somewhere along the 401 west of Toronto.
