Time for some laughter? Please share yours...
- Thread starter Kusa
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Patty comes home from the pub very drunk. Wife says, okay smart arse, explain the lipstick on your collar. His response was fuck and easy he says I used my shirt to wipe my cock.
A high-class woman set next to me on the train. I took a breath and ask what’s that smell? She turned to me, and said Chanel $500 an ounce! And turned away. About 10 minutes later, I let out a silent fart. She turned to me and asked what’s that smell? I said cabbage dollar 29 a pound.
My wife sent me a selfie and a new dress and asked does this dress make my ass look big? I text back no my phone has AutoCorrect my response to moo please send help.
I held the door open for a beautiful blonde in the pub last night. My wife said, you never held the door open for me. I said, what about the fucken time you threaten to leave.
I bet that camping was invented by 2 guys that wanted to have a sleepover together, but were afraid their wives would make fun of them!
I got a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions said remove And push up bottom. I can barely walk, but my farts smell lovely.
A high-class woman set next to me on the train. I took a breath and ask what’s that smell? She turned to me, and said Chanel $500 an ounce! And turned away. About 10 minutes later, I let out a silent fart. She turned to me and asked what’s that smell? I said cabbage dollar 29 a pound.
My wife sent me a selfie and a new dress and asked does this dress make my ass look big? I text back no my phone has AutoCorrect my response to moo please send help.
I held the door open for a beautiful blonde in the pub last night. My wife said, you never held the door open for me. I said, what about the fucken time you threaten to leave.
I bet that camping was invented by 2 guys that wanted to have a sleepover together, but were afraid their wives would make fun of them!
I got a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions said remove And push up bottom. I can barely walk, but my farts smell lovely.
So today I was at the grocery store, and this rude lady asked me with a tone, why are some eggs white and some eggs Brown? So I told her, the brown ones are whole-wheat.
I hate adding stuff to my cart, not buying it and getting an email that says did you forget something? Yeah I forgot I didn’t have $800.
Keep your friends close and your beer closer. Because those ass holes will drink it.
I may not be great with fractions. But I know you look like a whole bitch.
Everyone’s an atheist until they clog a toilet at someone else’s home.
Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?
Husband hey baby, come and look at my clock. Wife that’s not o’clock. Husband it will be when you put 2 hands and a face on it.
I’m getting quite heavy seems I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.
Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world of over?
I didn’t mean to push all your buttons I was just trying to hit you.
My fear of insomnia keeps me up at night.
I hate adding stuff to my cart, not buying it and getting an email that says did you forget something? Yeah I forgot I didn’t have $800.
Keep your friends close and your beer closer. Because those ass holes will drink it.
I may not be great with fractions. But I know you look like a whole bitch.
Everyone’s an atheist until they clog a toilet at someone else’s home.
Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?
Husband hey baby, come and look at my clock. Wife that’s not o’clock. Husband it will be when you put 2 hands and a face on it.
I’m getting quite heavy seems I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.
Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world of over?
I didn’t mean to push all your buttons I was just trying to hit you.
My fear of insomnia keeps me up at night.
Large collection of stand-up comedy videos.
University Fraternities are named after three letters from the Greek alphabet:
It surprises me that there is no frat named
Because Iota Eta Psi, (I oughta eat a pussy), seems like a natural, to me.
It surprises me that there is no frat named
Because Iota Eta Psi, (I oughta eat a pussy), seems like a natural, to me.
