Time for some laughter? Please share yours...
- Thread starter Kusa
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Dorothy said, every year I sent generous check…. But they never call thank you. Ruth replied, I sent my grandkids a check to and I always hear from them within a week. They even come to visit me!. Dorothy asks, how do you manage that? Ruth smiled and said simply, simply I don’t signed the checks.
A small plane about to crash. There are 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger jumps up and says I’m Brad Pitt my family and millions of fans eat me! He grabs a parachute and jumps the 2nd passenger stands up proudly I’m Donald Trump, the most brilliant president in the world! He takes a parachute and jumps now only 2 are left an old man and a little schoolboy. The old man says calmly son, I lift a long life. You take the last parachute. The boy smiles and says don’t worry, Sir everything is fine the most brilliant president just jumped out with my schoolbag.
Being kissed while you’re sleeping is 1 of the purest form of love. Unless you’re in prison. Now that’s a whole different ballgame.
I was shaving my downstairs area common so I needed to use a phone camera as a mirror. It all went great until I started seeing likes on my Facebook page.
Grandpa always assisted on making love and in the dark. After 40 years, grandma turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes crazy. You stupid ass whole. How could you lie to me all these years? Grandpa looks at her straight in the eye and says calmly I’ll explain the toy and you explain the kids!
A boy asks his mom, why are you white and I am black? Mom: don’t even go there. The way the party went, you’re lucky you don’t bark.
Most women have been in a lesbian relationship at least once. Not with another woman but with a man that acts like a bitch.
A little old man shuffled slowly his way into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up to a stool after catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress kindly asked crushed nuts? He said, no arthritis!
An apple a day is bullish it! Apples are dangerous, just look at Eve, snow white, blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Guy I was getting a hand job from a girlfriend, when I asked how are you so good at this? Years of practice she said. Bit of a player are you? No, she replied I used to have one.
Sister:. What are those things that you blow out to make a wish?
Me: sugar daddies?
Sister: what the fark is wrong with you.
Today leaving Walmart I saw 2 blind guys fighting in the parking lot. You all should have seen the look on their face when I said I got money on the one with the knife.
A small plane about to crash. There are 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger jumps up and says I’m Brad Pitt my family and millions of fans eat me! He grabs a parachute and jumps the 2nd passenger stands up proudly I’m Donald Trump, the most brilliant president in the world! He takes a parachute and jumps now only 2 are left an old man and a little schoolboy. The old man says calmly son, I lift a long life. You take the last parachute. The boy smiles and says don’t worry, Sir everything is fine the most brilliant president just jumped out with my schoolbag.
Being kissed while you’re sleeping is 1 of the purest form of love. Unless you’re in prison. Now that’s a whole different ballgame.
I was shaving my downstairs area common so I needed to use a phone camera as a mirror. It all went great until I started seeing likes on my Facebook page.
Grandpa always assisted on making love and in the dark. After 40 years, grandma turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes crazy. You stupid ass whole. How could you lie to me all these years? Grandpa looks at her straight in the eye and says calmly I’ll explain the toy and you explain the kids!
A boy asks his mom, why are you white and I am black? Mom: don’t even go there. The way the party went, you’re lucky you don’t bark.
Most women have been in a lesbian relationship at least once. Not with another woman but with a man that acts like a bitch.
A little old man shuffled slowly his way into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up to a stool after catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress kindly asked crushed nuts? He said, no arthritis!
An apple a day is bullish it! Apples are dangerous, just look at Eve, snow white, blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Guy I was getting a hand job from a girlfriend, when I asked how are you so good at this? Years of practice she said. Bit of a player are you? No, she replied I used to have one.
Sister:. What are those things that you blow out to make a wish?
Me: sugar daddies?
Sister: what the fark is wrong with you.
Today leaving Walmart I saw 2 blind guys fighting in the parking lot. You all should have seen the look on their face when I said I got money on the one with the knife.
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A guy and a girl were making out for the first time. He asked her “please let me put it in, I’m so horny!” She replied “ well, ok, but just the tip, I’m not ready for the whole thing.” So he put it inside, and became so excited, he couldn’t stop himself, and shoved it all in. After a couple of minutes, she said “ baby, it’s feeling really good, you can shove all of it in now!” Thinking fast, he replied “ no sweetie, a deal’s a deal.”
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There were 5 white guys in the waiting room while their wives are delivering their babies. The nurse comes out with a black baby and asks, who does this belong to? The men looked at each other all confused until one man puts his hand up and says is probably mine, my wife burns everything!
