Ghosting Sucks
- Thread starter Sa10
- Start date
My impression is that she did indeed enjoy the time with the OP, but over time got uncomfortable with his attachment to her. And once that switch flipped for her, anything he did trying to keep the situation going just pushed her further away. OP interpreted her distance as him having done something wrong. Which, to be fair, is true...he got too attached to her and didn't give her space when she needed it to feel more comfortable about the situation.
As soon as she texted him that she hadn't felt comfortable with him that night, that's a MASSIVE waving flag, alarm bells blaring, that should have signaled to him that he should have responded back that he wouldn't contact her again unless she felt comfortable and initiated it. Instead, OP asked what he did wrong, and after getting no response texted a second time the next day asking if she was feeling better and, even worse, texted a third time after he made a list of possible things he had done wrong and sent her that list. I'm not condoning her ghosting him, but I'm also not at all surprised at that point.
I've had outside relations with ladies in the industry -- they are regular human beings after all, who enjoy normal companionship like the rest of us do -- and there have been times I've pushed the bounds of what that relationship is. Sometimes I was brought up short (which makes things crystal clear) and sometimes I haven't (which left them murky). But if you ever want to know how a lady truly feels about you, all you have to do is cut off all paid sessions with her and you'll find out pretty quick.
My advice to the OP would be to try to keep a level head in these situations. You're engaging in physical and emotional acts with these ladies, so of course the possibility of strong attachment can develop. Don't let it lead you. If an SP that was previously seemingly into you suddenly starts trying to make distance, the WORST thing you can do is make a grab for her. Instead, let the distance happen. This act alone might convince her that her fears were unfounded, but even if it doesn't, no good can come from desperately trying to keep things from falling apart. Let it go and you'll have more respect for yourself in the long run.
As soon as she texted him that she hadn't felt comfortable with him that night, that's a MASSIVE waving flag, alarm bells blaring, that should have signaled to him that he should have responded back that he wouldn't contact her again unless she felt comfortable and initiated it. Instead, OP asked what he did wrong, and after getting no response texted a second time the next day asking if she was feeling better and, even worse, texted a third time after he made a list of possible things he had done wrong and sent her that list. I'm not condoning her ghosting him, but I'm also not at all surprised at that point.
I've had outside relations with ladies in the industry -- they are regular human beings after all, who enjoy normal companionship like the rest of us do -- and there have been times I've pushed the bounds of what that relationship is. Sometimes I was brought up short (which makes things crystal clear) and sometimes I haven't (which left them murky). But if you ever want to know how a lady truly feels about you, all you have to do is cut off all paid sessions with her and you'll find out pretty quick.
My advice to the OP would be to try to keep a level head in these situations. You're engaging in physical and emotional acts with these ladies, so of course the possibility of strong attachment can develop. Don't let it lead you. If an SP that was previously seemingly into you suddenly starts trying to make distance, the WORST thing you can do is make a grab for her. Instead, let the distance happen. This act alone might convince her that her fears were unfounded, but even if it doesn't, no good can come from desperately trying to keep things from falling apart. Let it go and you'll have more respect for yourself in the long run.
Best thing buddy could do is delete her number and move on.
