Ghosting Sucks

xmontrealer · Friday at 2:25 PM

A good test for the true nature of your relationship with a sex provider is to "forget" to pay her before the session and again when leaving.

She'll soon let you know what the "raison d'être" of your relationship is...

Pamela Lee69 · Friday at 2:35 PM

xmontrealer said:
A good test for the true nature of your relationship with a sex provider is to "forget" to pay her before the session and again when leaving.

She'll soon let you know what the "raison d'être" of your relationship is...

You are playing with dynamite

Jenesis · Friday at 4:11 PM

xmontrealer said:
A good test for the true nature of your relationship with a sex provider is to "forget" to pay her before the session and again when leaving.

She'll soon let you know what the "raison d'être" of your relationship is...

A good way to get yourself banned and possibly arrested.....

but sure - let's try this to test if a woman you pay for sex is interested in your money.

xmontrealer · Friday at 5:06 PM

Jenesis said:
A good way to get yourself banned and possibly arrested.....

but sure - let's try this to test if a woman you pay for sex is interested in your money.

At no point was I suggesting a guy try that with any provider he hasn't seen regularly for a long time and with whom he thinks the relationship is mutually romantic.

The point in my above post is that, if you really think a sex provider likes you just for being you, and that you have developed what you feel is a real friendship or even romantic relationship, not paying will clear up that misconception real quick.

A couple of times, with the few ladies I saw as long-time regulars, I neglected to pay up front, and because they knew me and were comfortable with me, they didn't ask for the money up front, which is when I usually paid.

Then, being engrossed in conversation, and being a bit of an old coot, I forgot that I hadn't paid as per usual up front, and was obviously forgetting to pay on my way out.

The few times that happened the ladies involved were quick to remind me that I hadn't paid. Actually they were a bit apologetic about it, seeming to not want to offend me by reinforcing the financial nature of our friendly and regular relationship.

Of course I apologized profusely and paid immediately.

A couple of times both of us forgot, and either I remembered when I got to my car, or I got a call from the agency advising of the issue.

If I was still in the parking ,lot, and there was no other guy on his way up, I went right back up, apologized, and paid.

If I wasn't close by, I took care of it by e-transfer to the agency, added on the small agency e-transfer premium involved, and that was that.

No provider, no matter how often I had seen her, ever let it ride until the next session, not would I expect them to.

Also at no point, regardless of how comfortable it seemed we felt in each other's company, how many laughs we had, and how good (I thought at least) the physical part was, I never assumed there was anything more to any of my escort relationships than sex provider /client.

And honestly I don't think there are many clients as consistently respectful to sex providers as me. Which of course I can't prove, but the ladies have often told me that.

In my single, twice-divorced old age, my main loves are my children, my music, my TV, my computer, my New Yorker magazine and Record Collector magazine subscriptions, and the ladies in the sex industry. Reasons to get up each morning.

Oops, I forgot to mention cheeseburgers...

Useful Idiot · Friday at 5:17 PM

This may or may not apply to the OP, but kindness and generosity should always be acknowledged and rewarded in one way or another, never taken for granted. If you do not have deep pockets find other ways to show gratitude.

Sa10 · Friday at 6:25 PM

Thanks for all the responses. At first it was embarrassing, but eventually I’m glad I kept the thread. Overall the discourse has been useful imo. I feel a lot better now.

Cause now I’m thinking wtf was the end game here ? & the end game obviously is not something that’s straight forward & pragmatic. So I actually respect her for pulling the plug before more confusion ensued.

I knew posting this wasn’t the best choice. & there’s nothing here that deep down I hadn’t already considered. But I guess subconsciously I knew a bit of hammering will get me thinking with the right parts of the body. So thanks

I will take some time to respond to some replies here later, a little more context might help.

lir2016 · Friday at 6:36 PM

Sa10 said:
But I got a rather confusing text on my way home, where she stated, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable with me that night, but she appreciates my effort to make it work.

Naturally, I worried a little, was caught off guard too, asked her if it was anything I said or did. No response.

I gave it a day’s time & messaged back, asking if she’s feeling better. Nothing, just ghost. On her socials, she seemed to be active again, so I know for a fact, that’s it’s just me. I panicked, thinking wtf did I do !!

Never double text

Sa10 said:
so I made a long ass list of things that could’ve gone wrong (sent it to her as well )

definitely don’t ever do this

hawktoulover · Saturday at 2:58 PM

Sa10 said:
Thanks for all the responses. At first it was embarrassing, but eventually I’m glad I kept the thread. Overall the discourse has been useful imo. I feel a lot better now.

Cause now I’m thinking wtf was the end game here ? & the end game obviously is not something that’s straight forward & pragmatic. So I actually respect her for pulling the plug before more confusion ensued.

I knew posting this wasn’t the best choice. & there’s nothing here that deep down I hadn’t already considered. But I guess subconsciously I knew a bit of hammering will get me thinking with the right parts of the body. So thanks

I will take some time to respond to some replies here later, a little more context might help.

Hey mate, I feel for you it’s never easy when you start questioning where it all went wrong. The ugly truth about this hobby is that once you let emotions get involved, it gets messy( life is messy). You’re not wrong to enjoy how she made you feeleven to the point you kept thinking about her after the session or that the time together stretched longer than booked. They’re human too, sometimes they just get caught up in the moment.

If you genuinely like her, sure, give it another try—but go in with clear eyes. From experience, emotional investment and money rarely mix well. Still, we’re all chasing something here, and life is short, so there’s no shame in trying.

If we start thinking about the end game in this hobby—what really is it? We pay a beautiful girl to play the role of a girlfriend for an hour or two. Then the session ends, feeling fades, and we return to our real lives.

I’ve felt that pull with a few girls over the years, and yes, money and gifts were always part of it. But in between, I’ve also had moments that were unforgettable, almost unimaginable. The lines may have been blurred, but the feelings in those moments were real enough to leave their mark.

IM469 · Saturday at 3:56 PM

brokenglass said:
That waitress you should have texted her 2-3 days prior to the event to follow up if she was still going. If you didn't hear back from her after 24hours then you should have taken it at face value of being ghosted and asked your friend instead of waiting last minute then going alone. Don't wait around like that for people. ...

It was supposed to be two friends at an event - nothing more. We talked about the event weeks before and in person a couple days before. I have had friends who are hard to reach 24 hours before a get together - family event, dead batteries - also remember I was calling her to see if I should secure a backup not as part of a plan. I had no idea that the waitress would suddenly ghost me. Hindsight is 20/20. Obviously a better opportunity came up for her and I no longer existed. I had no idea she was a self-centered bitch and that I wouldn't even get courtesy a text. You would text a friend - takes a second - but I didn't exist in this narrow selfish mindset.

It is salt in the wound that I had a more desirable opportunity (ironically maybe the same as her) but I chose to honour my friendship. I don't think I would change and risk hurting someone - it's not an option for me. Even in hindsight - I'm not letting someone alter my basic character.

I only brought up the story because of the thread topic. I have many bumps in life and will probably encounter more. They are in the rearview mirror and I prefer the view looking forward.

Sa10 · Monday at 4:04 PM

it sucks, still feels awful. Gotta move on though.

the problem is, at this point in my life, I guess I’m looking for a little more than what the World of SPs offer. What that world is absolutely not meant for. Must tune my mind back to keeping it strictly vibe & must not carry anything on my way out.

In hind sight, I don’t think I was going to catch feelings.

Cause what I feel right now is: The feeling you get when your friend is not talking to as usual, & is ghosting & you’re seeing them hangout out with everyone else as usual. & then, your favourite restaurant has suddenly closed down. I think it’s distinct enough. Good riddance though, probably would’ve ended badly anyway.

& her generosity? I had my plans & ways to make up for it. But the door is now closed. Too bad.

If you’re still in your 20s & you’re in the hobby, use me as a cautionary tale. As these things can absolutely happen, as much as you think it can’t (to you).

now I need to find a similar arrangement & not make the same dumb mistakes.

xmontrealer · Monday at 4:37 PM

Sa10 said:
it sucks, still feels awful. Gotta move on though.

the problem is, at this point in my life, I guess I’m looking for a little more than what the World of SPs offer. What that world is absolutely not meant for. Must tune my mind back to keeping it strictly vibe & must not carry anything on my way out.

In hind sight, I don’t think I was going to catch feelings.

Cause what I feel right now is: The feeling you get when your friend is not talking to as usual, & is ghosting & you’re seeing them hangout out with everyone else as usual. & then, your favourite restaurant has suddenly closed down. I think it’s distinct enough. Good riddance though, probably would’ve ended badly anyway.

& her generosity? I had my plans & ways to make up for it. But the door is now closed. Too bad.

If you’re still in your 20s & you’re in the hobby, use me as a cautionary tale. As these things can absolutely happen, as much as you think it can’t (to you).

now I need to find a similar arrangement & not make the same dumb mistakes.

Imho guys under 30, and over 50 or so, are the ones most susceptible to catching feelings for sex workers.

Under 30 is due to the general lack of dating experience for most young men, plus the current drought in the under 30 dating scene for most "average-value" guys (as perceived by most civilian women).

Over 50 is the susceptibility of old guys to develop feelings for women who wouldn't look at them twice in any other environment. Part of those sex workers' skill sets is to create an experience where an old guy actually feels desired and attractive to a beautiful young woman, who is also skilled sexually.

The biggest issue there is that old guys "want to believe" that both the mental and physical connection in the room are genuine,.

Which, although they might find that with civilian ladies they are dating of an appropriate age, most men over 50 are not attracted to civilian women who would be genuinely attracted to them, especially when young and hot sex providers are available for likely less monetary cost than would be involved in actually seriously courting a civilian...

As a very senior representative of the "well over 50" male group, I will paraphrase once again my version of an old Groucho Marx joke, by saying "I don't want to date any woman who would want to date me!"

To the OP I can only suggest looking for true romance in the civilian world, and not a "similar arrangement". You may not find anyone as hot and sexy as the woman you were talking about in your original post, but just maybe you will find a more genuine and mutual lasting connection.

Just my thoughts...

Eminence · Monday at 11:02 PM

Sa10 said:
This past week & a half has been a real downer for me.

there’s an SP, that I thought, I had really good chemistry with. Found myself getting along like friends (with benefits)…. The session didn’t even feel paid for & transactional. Used to go in for a hh, come out 2 hrs later…. Just over a few sessions, & some back & forth texting, got to know each other on a personal level, honestly thought it was going great.

But I guess, it was all in my head. She didn’t feel the same way. She was probably not ok with it….

Cause after a really awkward last session, where whatever we planned to do never happened, & she was tired & sleepy too…. So we decided to call it a night & then try again another day.

still, things seemed alright, most of our time together felt great, there was some making out & cuddling.

But I got a rather confusing text on my way home, where she stated, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable with me that night, but she appreciates my effort to make it work.

Naturally, I worried a little, was caught off guard too, asked her if it was anything I said or did. No response.

I gave it a day’s time & messaged back, asking if she’s feeling better. Nothing, just ghost. On her socials, she seemed to be active again, so I know for a fact, that’s it’s just me. I panicked, thinking wtf did I do !!

so I made a long ass list of things that could’ve gone wrong (sent it to her as well ) My guess is she doesn’t appreciate that there were some personal conversations & I subconsciously made implications of this being more than just an escort-client thing.

but still, I was only really going with the flow, I really didn’t think I was forcing anything. I still don’t. Even told her that once she’s indicated not being comfortable, it doesn’t make sense for me to ask to see her again. So I’m really just asking for some closure. Would be nice to hear back. Maybe even be just friends, cause I really liked our vibe together. Doesn’t feel nice for it to go toast like this. But I’m just an idiot I guess. Maybe in hind sight, me ending up always over staying the “appointment” time was not exactly as mutual as I thought it was.
she probably felt shorted in her business mind ?

Or is she mistaking me for someone else on Terb ? & is confused about something ? Cause she mentioned she’s not that fond of Terb for the things people say here

I didn’t get any response back. Just pure ghosting. I feel so awful, it was a wonderful arrangement, now it’s

It really affected my confidence & my image. & my judgement ( cause the entire week I just made dumb decisions)

The ghosting part, ffs, why am I sitting & thinking about it constant, I feel if there was some dialogue, it would give me some peace of mind. Nothing yet

I deleted her number & unfollowed her socials.

I guess we couldn’t be friends after all. I feel like a clown

PS- I know she doesn’t owe me anything, & from her pov, this wasn’t a bad move, her reasons are her reasons, no need to explain.
& nope, I haven’t left out any big details to make me look good.

Young lad, let me share with you some wisdom that only comes with experience and I hope it helps you and other immature & inexperienced guys out there like yourself.

Although, it should always be assumed that paid companions want to always be paid for their time, in the event that you do make a real connection with an escort there is one sure way to determine if she really wanted to spend more time with you for free or not my lad. Two of them actually:

1. She messages you asking you to do social things like going to the movies, that new restaurant or just to hang out not at her place of work.

2. When you are at her place of work, remember that actions speak louder than words! If you booked 30 minutes then carry yourself as a 30 minute booking, finish your business and shower and then get ready to leave. If the lady in question at any point begs you to not go shower, demands that you get back into the bed, or stops you from exiting the apartment once your clothes are on; then and only then you know she just wants to spend time with you regardless of payment.

There is no need for more communication or closure young lad, use your common sense and read the deeds.

Eminence · Monday at 11:06 PM

Sa10 said:
Thanks for all the responses. At first it was embarrassing, but eventually I’m glad I kept the thread. Overall the discourse has been useful imo. I feel a lot better now.

Cause now I’m thinking wtf was the end game here ? & the end game obviously is not something that’s straight forward & pragmatic. So I actually respect her for pulling the plug before more confusion ensued.

I knew posting this wasn’t the best choice. & there’s nothing here that deep down I hadn’t already considered. But I guess subconsciously I knew a bit of hammering will get me thinking with the right parts of the body. So thanks

I will take some time to respond to some replies here later, a little more context might help.

You can’t even blame your penis in this situation so you can’t say you were thinking with the wrong head young lad. Clearly you are emotionally starved and seeking more than just casual sex and you are not going to find it with escorts.

Sa10 · 2025-09-23T17:28:35-0400

Eminence said:
Young lad, let me share with you some wisdom that only comes with experience and I hope it helps you and other immature & inexperienced guys out there like yourself.

Although, it should always be assumed that paid companions want to always be paid for their time, in the event that you do make a real connection with an escort there is one sure way to determine if she really wanted to spend more time with you for free or not my lad. Two of them actually:

1. She messages you asking you to do social things like going to the movies, that new restaurant or just to hang out not at her place of work.

2. When you are at her place of work, remember that actions speak louder than words! If you booked 30 minutes then carry yourself as a 30 minute booking, finish your business and shower and then get ready to leave. If the lady in question at any point begs you to not go shower, demands that you get back into the bed, or stops you from exiting the apartment once your clothes are on; then and only then you know she just wants to spend time with you regardless of payment.

There is no need for more communication or closure young lad, use your common sense and read the deeds.

Offff. A fresh epiphany of rejection I guess

cause nope, dont think I’ve resoundingly passed test #1 or #2

She once invited to play games with her (online). That’s about it.

as far as hanging out outside, I (not her) asked a few times & she joked & laughed about it. Never said yes or no.

& then, I’ve left her place at 3:30 am & 2:40 am in the morning, if it was anything more than business, I guess she would’ve said just stay back & leave at a less ungodly hour.

so truely, it was all in my head, I guess.

thanks for the advice though.

Sa10 · 2025-09-23T17:40:12-0400

xmontrealer said:
Imho guys under 30, and over 50 or so, are the ones most susceptible to catching feelings for sex workers.

Under 30 is due to the general lack of dating experience for most young men, plus the current drought in the under 30 dating scene for most "average-value" guys (as perceived by most civilian women).

Over 50 is the susceptibility of old guys to develop feelings for women who wouldn't look at them twice in any other environment. Part of those sex workers' skill sets is to create an experience where an old guy actually feels desired and attractive to a beautiful young woman, who is also skilled sexually.

The biggest issue there is that old guys "want to believe" that both the mental and physical connection in the room are genuine,.

Which, although they might find that with civilian ladies they are dating of an appropriate age, most men over 50 are not attracted to civilian women who would be genuinely attracted to them, especially when young and hot sex providers are available for likely less monetary cost than would be involved in actually seriously courting a civilian...

As a very senior representative of the "well over 50" male group, I will paraphrase once again my version of an old Groucho Marx joke, by saying "I don't want to date any woman who would want to date me!"

To the OP I can only suggest looking for true romance in the civilian world, and not a "similar arrangement". You may not find anyone as hot and sexy as the woman you were talking about in your original post, but just maybe you will find a more genuine and mutual lasting connection.

Just my thoughts...

Yea. In the civilian world, I really hope someone comes through. It’s about God damn time.

MadGeek · 2025-09-23T17:44:19-0400

Age old rule: the persona of the entertainment isn't necessarily the persona of the person doing the entertaining. Never forget that. You're paying for entertainment for a block of time, nothing more, nothing less. Oh and be respectful of the time too. Over staying by a 5 or 10 or 15 minutes occasionally with a regular is one thing; overstaying 90 minutes routinely and not compensating shows a complete lack of respect. You wouldn't go to a theatre or theme park and pay only 25% of the admission.

PS. there's some culpability here on the provider too. She should have spoke up long ago and asserted herself. Maybe that's down to her not valuing her time etc... Who knows.

Indiana · 2025-09-23T18:53:12-0400

southpaw · 2025-09-23T18:58:41-0400

xmontrealer said:
Part of those sex workers' skill sets is to create an experience where an old guy actually feels desired and attractive to a beautiful young woman, who is also skilled sexually.

What do you mean by "feels desired"? They tell me so themselves. I'm also handsome, fit, and have a huge cock. Just ask them.

xmontrealer · 2025-09-23T19:43:36-0400

southpaw said:
What do you mean by "feels desired"? They tell me so themselves. I'm also handsome, fit, and have a huge cock. Just ask them.

They don't even bother trying to BS me.

I'm old, not very fit, and about a 6 in the looks department.

The nicest thing they say about my dick is "You're just the size I like...", which is difficult to debate or disprove.

Search

Ghosting Sucks

xmontrealer

(he/him/it)

Pamela Lee69

Sexy Fun Adventurous Bi-Lingual Brunette

Jenesis

Fabulously Full Figured

xmontrealer

(he/him/it)

Useful Idiot

Active member

Sa10

Batman

lir2016

Well-known member

hawktoulover

New member

IM469

Well-known member

Sa10

Batman

xmontrealer

(he/him/it)

Eminence

Well-known member

Eminence

Well-known member

Sa10

Batman

Sa10

Batman

MadGeek

Well-known member

Indiana

Well-known member

southpaw

Well-known member

xmontrealer

(he/him/it)